Ben Stiller & Robert De Niro Cohen Meets the Special Counsel ... For SNL's Cold Open

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Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro did their best Michael Cohen and Special Counsel Robert Mueller on Saturday Night Live ... while also plugging their old comedy together.

Stiller played President Trump's embattled personal lawyer on SNL this weekend, and De Niro played Mueller ... who conducted a polygraph on the guy, just like their characters did in 2000's "Meet the Parents." The Byrnes and Focker jokes continued from there.

On a more seriously hilarious note, SNL threw haymakers at Cohen's predicament -- namely, getting raided by the FBI last week in relation to his $130,000 "hush money" payment to Stormy Daniels, among other things. They also went after Trump and his kids.

As long as there's an open Trump-related investigation(s) ... we're guessing SNL won't be running out of material anytime soon.

Donald Trump to Judge Let's Calm Down the Stormy Case ... Just for 3 Months

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Donald Trump wants to take a break -- from dealing with Stormy Daniels' lawsuit -- and is asking a judge to help him out ... according to new legal docs.

Trump's legal team claims that the recent raid of his attorney Michael Cohen's home, office and hotel room has thrown a wrench into their ability to defend the Prez against the former porn star.

According to the docs ... Trump wants to basically put the case on ice for 90 days, because Cohen is now a part of an FBI criminal investigation, and anything he says could be incriminating.

However, if Cohen pleads the 5th in his criminal case, it screws Trump over in his case with Daniels ... because Cohen is his key witness.

Trump's side argues this puts Cohen in an impossible position, and the only way to make things fair is for him to deal with one case at a time ... and not Stormy's for now.

As we reported ... Stormy's filed suit against the Prez and Cohen in an effort to throw out her infamous "hush" agreement.

White House Goes OFF on James Comey ... That 'Disgraced Partisan Hack'

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James Comey is a blatant liar who the American people see right through -- and his book is trash ... according to the White House Press Secretary.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders followed Donald Trump's lead in dealing with the former FBI Director during Friday's press briefing in response to a question about the President's insults of Comey ... by piling on even more.

Sanders slammed Comey's newly released exerpts from his book, "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership," by calling it a bad PR move to make a quick buck and try to fix his damaged reputation.

Then she went in even harder .... check out the video.

As we reported ... the Prez clearly approves of his press secretary's words, and we're certain he echoes her feelings on Comey's allegations regarding the 'Steele dossier.'

U.S. Pro Boxer Rocks Trump Wall-Themed Shorts ... Gets Crushed by Mexican

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An American pro boxer literally wore Trump's border wall on his shorts for a fight -- then got the LIVING CRAP BEAT OUTTA HIM by his Mexican opponent!!

Rod Salka was trying to make a political statement Thursday night vs. Francisco Vargas during Golden Boy's ESPN event in Indio, California ... steppin' into the ring with brick-patterned trunks in red, white and blue, with his waistband reading -- "America 1st."

Yeah ... Francisco wasn't having that. "El Bandido" BATTERED the 35-year-old Pennsylvanian over the next 6 rounds -- leaving him bloody and bruised before Salka's corner threw in the towel between rounds.

Guessing POTUS ain't too happy about his wall getting torn down on national TV.

But, we're pretty sure we know one guy who didn't mind.

Trump Tower Doorman Claims Prez has Love Child ... I Was Told to Be Nice to the Mom

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Donald Trump has a sixth child nobody knows about -- a kid he had with his former housekeeper ... according to a stunning revelation by a doorman who used to work at Trump Tower.

Dino Sajudin has just doubled down on his claim, saying ... "I can confirm that while working at Trump World Tower I was instructed not to criticize President Trump's former housekeeper due to a prior relationship she had with President Trump which produced a child."

Sajudin also admits he had a confidential agreement with The National Enquirer about the story of Trump fathering a child out of wedlock in the late '80s.

Earlier Thursday, a report came out saying the Enquirer paid $30,000 for Sajudin's story in order to bury it ... which is similar to allegations made by Karen McDougal regarding her story of having an affair with Trump. The outlet says after investigating it determined Sajudin's claim was false.

The Trump Organization also denied his claims.

If the story turns out to be true, it would mean the Prez has a child around 30 years of age ... which would put him or her older than Tiffany but younger than Eric.

Alabama Football Hangin' With Trump ... National Title Visit

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Donald Trump honored the Alabama Crimson Tide's national title at the White House Tuesday afternoon ... all the while praising their state for helping him win the 2016 election.

Nick Saban and the crew hit 1600 Pennsylvania Ave to celebrate their crazy win over Georgia back in January ... in which Tua Tagovailoa came off the bench and torched the Bulldogs in the OT thriller.

While Trump says he was impressed with the Tide's 3-point win, he boasts about his 32-point win in the Heart of Dixie in 2016 ... and says he's proud of how the players represent the "great, great state."

BTW -- POTUS took the easy way out and bailed on pronouncing Tua's last name ... but you can't really blame him for that.

Jared Fogle Doubles Down on Appeal for Release ... It's My Right to Include Trump!!!

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Jared Fogle isn't taking no for an answer when it comes to suing the Prez to get out of prison ... but we get the feeling he's going to hear it again very soon.

The former Subway spokesman and convicted child pornographer is at it again, filing new legal docs in his attempt to get released from federal prison. His last request was swiftly rejected for what the judge called a glaring error -- mentioning President Trump.

According to the new docs, Fogle believes it's within his Constitutional rights to add Trump's name as a respondent -- along with the prison warden -- because Attorney General Jeff Sessions has "failed to correct a clear error" in his imprisonment ... and Trump is Sessions' boss.

We broke the story ... a judge rejected Fogle's appeal due to his bizarre inclusion of Trump, but gave him 30 days to fix it.

Instead, Fogle's doubling down. Stay tuned for the judge's next rejection ... it probably won't take very long.

Stormy Daniels' Lawyer There's A Lot Left to Reveal ... And I'm Not Bluffing

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Stormy Daniels' lawyer, Michael Avenatti, says her legal war with Donald Trump has only just begun, and many more juicy details will come to light ... if necessary.

We got Stormy's attorney at LAX Friday evening, who tells us although a lot of their case info has been disclosed ... it's only scratched the surface. So our guy asks about the ominous disc tweet from a couple weeks back ... and Avenatti suggests it's more than just a warning shot.

Avenatti also says Trump's public denial Thursday of having knowledge about the $130k payment his lawyer, Michael Cohen, made to Stormy for their "hush" agreement only helps him in getting the POTUS to sit for a deposition.

As for the REALLY "private" matters between Stormy and Trump -- Avenatti says nothing's off the table if his client keeps getting portrayed as a liar.

Oh, dear.

Napoleon Dynamite Star If Feds Deport Ex-MS-13 Member, 'Henry' ... He'll Be Murdered!

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"Napoleon Dynamite" star Efren Ramirez says ICE and the Trump Administration are hanging an ex-gang member out to dry, and essentially signing the death warrant of the 19-year-old kid.

Efren is fired up about "Henry" ... the former MS-13 member whose story is now getting national attention. Quick backstory -- "Henry" fled El Salvador and sought asylum in the U.S. to escape his life in the international crime organization. He turned informant, in exchange for placement in witness protection -- but instead got tossed in a detention center, and is now scheduled to be deported.

Efren, who's of El Salvadorian descent, insists MS-13 will kill "Henry" as soon as he's sent back to El Salvador. As Efren sees it, "The fact he risked his life to give information that he knew, he was promised to be protected."

He adds, if ICE turns its back on "Henry" ... "He will be murdered."

Ex-RNC Chair Michael Steele Trump's Amazon Beef is Fake News ... He Just Hates Bezos' Paper!

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Former RNC Chairman Michael Steele says he sees right through President Trump's beef with Jeff Bezos ... and says it ain't about Amazon, it's just politics and the newspaper Bezos owns.

We got the conservative pundit Tuesday in D.C., and he said Trump's tweet storm claiming Amazon is screwing the U.S. Postal Service is a BS smokescreen for his hatred of the Washington Post ... which Bezos bought back in 2013.

POTUS drags WaPo almost daily as "fake news," and now his tweets targeting Amazon is hitting Bezos hard in the wallet. His personal net worth has dropped about $16 billion, and Amazon stock also dropped.

Steele says Bezos has to decide how, or if, to fight back against Trump. We threw out one suggestion ... admittedly, it's some prime trolling.

Donald Trump's Attorney Stormy Agreed ... This Fight Doesn't Belong in Court

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President Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, insists Stormy Daniels has NO right to drag him or the Prez into court over the "hush" agreement, and he's got that in black and white.

Cohen filed new docs asking the judge to move Stormy's lawsuit from federal court into arbitration ... because he says that's exactly what Stormy agreed to do. Cohen says it's part of the very agreement she's suing to get nullified.

In the docs, Cohen says the ex-porn star herself has admitted to signing the deal in Oct. 2016, and accepting the $130k payment. Although she's making hay about Trump not signing it, Cohen says the document is binding between Stormy and Essential Consultants -- the company Cohen set up to pay her the cash.

Stormy's attorney Michael Avenatti told us he wants to force POTUS to sit for a deposition in the case.

Donald Trump Jr. My Wife & I Are Egg-cellent ... Amid Divorce

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Donald Trump Jr. and his estranged wife, Vanessa, are getting a divorce, but you wouldn't be able to tell from the photo above, taken Monday at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.

The couple put on a united front on the White House lawn, where their 5 kids and about 30,000 others participated in the annual tradition of rolling Easter eggs across the South Lawn.

It was their first public outing since Vanessa filed for divorce last month and news of DJT Jr.'s alleged affair with Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day surfaced, but not their first hang. They spent Spring Break with their kids at Mar-a-Lago last week.

It's pretty amazing Vanessa went to the event. As we reported, she hates politics and the spotlight that comes with it.

Author Ronald Kessler The White House is Plenty Diverse ... You Got Ben Carson, Etc.

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Ronald Kessler -- who wrote his own book about the Trump administration -- says diversity isn't an issue in the White House ... just take a look at Ben Carson.

We got the author of the forthcoming publication "The Trump White House: Changing the Rules of the Game" in D.C. Sunday, where we asked what he thought of 45's Spring interns ... who are by and large white, save for a few folks of color.

Kessler -- whose book is said to be a counter punch to Michael Wolff's unflattering portrayal of the White House -- tells us Trump has plenty of diversity in his cabinet to make up for a lack thereof with his interns. Oddly enough, he can only name Carson as an example.

He also touts low unemployment numbers in the African-American community under Trump as a sign that the President's helping 'em out.

But then Kessler spits out this hard truth -- he doesn't care about diversity, just so long as Trump's hiring the "best people" who display competence. That's changing the rules alright.

Aubrey O'Day Find the Easter Egg

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Aubrey O'Day's on a roll for Easter, but it ain't like the one that's happening at the White House this week ... not even close, actually. You seeing this, DTJ?

Aubrey posted a revealing photo Sunday just in time for Easter, which shows her bottomless and bunny-ed out, cottontail and all. She captioned the pic "egg hunt #happyeaster" ... and at first glance, you might not even realize she's surrounded by 'em.

As we reported ... the former Playboy model and singer has been mum on her alleged 2012 affair with Donald Trump Jr. in the wake of his pending divorce with his wife, Vanessa -- at least publicly she has.

However, she's been telling friends that she absolutely hooked up with him post-"Celebrity Apprentice," but that it didn't have anything to do with his and Vanessa's split.

Meanwhile, Trump Jr.'s been spotted being civil with his estranged spouse lately -- hanging out with her and their kids for Spring Break at Mar-a-Lago just a week ago.

He hasn't uttered a peep about Aubrey so far, but we imagine it'll be hard for him to ignore her now.

Donald Trump Spent $27k In Taxpayer Money Tracking Media Stories After Stormy Daniels Sued Him

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Donald Trump spent $27,000 of taxpayer money to monitor media reports ... and it was done the day after Stormy Daniels sued the President.

According to Federal Procurement documents obtained by TMZ, the payment was authorized March 7 by the Executive Office of the President. The money -- $27,075 -- went to a company called TVEyes, which tracks stories on TV, radio and in print ... using keywords. The docs say the purpose of the expenditure was "SUPPORT - MANAGEMENT: PUBLIC RELATIONS."

The documents don't say what story was being tracked, but the day before payment was authorized, Stormy sued to get her confidentiality agreement invalidated, which opened to door to embarrassing allegations against Trump and a flurry of news reports.

It's not the first time Trump's Office has used the service, but it's by far the most they've ever spent ... the last being $9,504 in February of 2017, right around the time Trump's then Chief of Staff, Reince Preibus, allegedly tried to interfere with the FBI's Russia probe.

Federal Procurement records also show the $27k Trump's shelled out was by far the largest expenditure the Executive Office has ever made to TVEyes ... since 2011, when TVEyes began getting contracts.

Donald Trump's Interns White-Out at the White House

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President Trump would like to introduce you to the 2018 White House spring interns, who -- when it comes to diversity -- pale in comparison to the last President's.

Trump posed for the pic with about 90 new interns Monday in the East Room of the White House, and other than about 3 exceptions ... it's a sea of white people.

By comparison, here's Barack Obama's class of White House interns from the spring of 2012 -- clearly much more racially inclusive. But ... Trump's proudly never made any attempt to follow in 44's footsteps.

This isn't a first for the Prez -- his choice of summer intern class was also criticized for lacking diversity ... especially since nearly half of millennials are people of color. He's also not the first politician to get called out for it.

#WhiteHouseSoWhite