Nudity

But while the old man dong was out in full force ... an uncomfortable looking Olivia eventually laughed the whole thing off.

Alexander Skarsgard can even make taking a s**t in sub-zero temperatures look hot -- and the beautiful bastard proved it from the South Pole.

Skarsgard posed naked on a toilet in Antarctica during a race to the Pole last month. One of his teammates posted the pic on Instagram yesterday.

Worth noting ... one of Alexander's competitors was Prince Harry.

The race was eventually called off due to injuries and safety concerns -- but we're pretty sure what Harry's victory pose would be.

You want to see Lindsay Lohan naked? That's what she's afraid of ... because we know what's in her stolen computer.

Lindsay claims her computer was stolen at the airport in Shanghai, China, and she's offering a reward for its return. In a move showing an utter lack of sophistication, Lindsay isn't specifying how much she'll give ... she's saying, "Whatever it takes." Translation: A lot.

Why, you ask, is she so freaked out? We've learned she had a bunch of nude photos of herself. She claims they're all from various photo shoots that were never supposed to be released. Again, when an actress is asked to take her clothes off, usually no good comes from that.

And there's more ... We're told Lindsay claims she has "private correspondence" from a bunch of famous people, including Woody Allen and Lady Gaga, that she wants to keep under wraps.

We pressed on whether there were selfies but got no answer ... so we're guessing there are.

A photo allegedly showing "Duck Dynasty" star Korie Robertson duck naked is being shopped around to media outlets ... but TMZ has learned it's a TOTAL FAKE!

The photo on the left (below) shows a woman who looks like Korie standing in front of a hotel room door in her birthday suit -- her hotness is up for debate, but one thing is not open for debate ... the fact that the pic has been Photoshopped.

Here's what we've determined.

-- Korie's face was superimposed on someone else's body.

-- We found the original photo, which depicts another woman who has similar body features but a very different face (for privacy reasons, we've blurred her punim).

-- One interesting thing ... both women have a similar and peculiar V-shaped collarbone.

Bottom line ... it's pretty clear someone's so pissed at Phil over his anti-gay comments ... they want to drag his son's wife through the mud.

Former Disney star Dylan Sprouse's ex girlfriend leaked photos on his junk online ... if you're buying Dylan's version of how his genitals got blasted on the Internet, anyway.

But one thing is for sure -- his bathroom looks to be kinda cold.

Ryan Seacrest's company X-mas party got REAL cheeky this week in Hollywood -- in fact, some random weirdo was arrested outside on the street ... after dancing all over the place in assless chaps ... and the hilarious scene was all caught on tape.

We have no idea who the mystery man is or why he was there -- but Tuesday night outside Loteria restaurant, this god among men stripped down to assless chaps ... and danced away like there was no tomorrow.

The best part ... he was dancing to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." And he's got some impressive moves too.

Darwin Vela -- the man who "disappeared" last week after evidence surfaced that a Charlie Sheen sex tape was stolen -- was mum last night on his way out of jail

The man who mysteriously disappeared last week just before he was supposed to testify in a burglary case that may involve a Charlie Sheen sex tape has just been arrested himself for the burglary ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

Darwin Vela and his girlfriend, Kelly McLaren, are currently in custody ... charged with breaking into the home of Nic Cage's baby mama, Christina Fulton and stealing 4 computers and other stuff.

Ricardo Orozco, Fulton's handyman, is currently facing trial for the same burglary. Vela was supposed to testify last week at his preliminary hearing, but a day before he was walking his dog and vanished.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... they don't believe anyone attacked or kidnapped Vela -- they think he just made himself scarce so he didn't have to testify. Our sources say they believe all 3 of them committed the crime.

The man who disappeared in the case that involves a Charlie Sheen sex tape has been found ... and law enforcement sources tell us, he told cops he was KIDNAPPED. And, we've learned the LAPD has launched a criminal investigation into the kidnapping allegations.

Darwin Vela was located at 2 PM PT today, after vanishing Tuesday as he took his dog for a walk in South L.A. We're told Vela flagged down someone on the street and that person called 911.

As we first reported ... Vela and another man, Ricardo Orozco, went to Sheen's reps a while back and said they had a Charlie Sheen sex tape and wanted to know how much the tape would be worth -- i.e., extortion.

Orozco was arrested for allegedly stealing computers owned by Nic Cage's baby mama and law enforcement sources say they believe one of the computers contained the sex tape. Orozco was arrested and charged with burglary.

Vela was scheduled to testify in Orozco's preliminary hearing Thursday but on Tuesday, he left his house to walk his Chocolate Lab and a short time later the dog came back with human blood on its leash and was freaked out.

We do not know if Vela was injured. One law enforcement source says there were injuries but we can't be more specific. Cops are about to interview him.

A man who was supposed to be a key witness in a major burglary case is missing ... and sources tell TMZ there's a direct link to a Charlie Sheen sex tape that was being secretly shopped.

As TMZ reported ... Ricardo Orozco is currently on trial for allegedly breaking into the home of Christina Fulton -- Nic Cage's baby mama -- and stealing computers and boxes of memorabilia, allegedly including nude photos of Nic Cage.

During the preliminary hearing Thursday, a detective testified that one of the items taken was a Charlie Sheen video that we're told was on one of the stolen computers. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... it's a sex tape.

Now here's the link between the sex tape and the missing man. We're told Darwin Vela -- the missing man -- along with Orozco, recently went to meet with Charlie's people, claiming they had a sex tape starring Charlie and wanted to sell it, but Vela and his people never produced the tape.

Vela is a key witness in the Ricardo Orozco burglary case and was supposed to testify in the preliminary hearing as early as today.

Now get this. On Tuesday, Vela took his dog Cocoa for a walk, and the Chocolate Lab returned home without him with human blood on its leash, trembling and whimpering. Vela has not been seen since.

Justin Bieber's Gatsby party on Friday was FILLED with naked chicks ... as far as the eye could see ... this according to sources inside the party -- and all Justin's celebrity friends were there, including Floyd Mayweather and Chris Brown.

Sources at the party tell us, there were at least 20 "big booty" strippers there -- and the girls who weren't strippers felt self-conscious wearing clothes, so they stripped down too. Basically, every man's dream.

And Bieber was tipping like a pro -- we're told he had stacks of ones and made it rain all night, dumping more than $10,000 in cash on the girls. One dancer tells us she made $1,300 alone.

According to sources, Breezy, Floyd, T.I., Trey Songz, and Snoop were there too. We're told Snoop had his priorities straight though, spending most of his time playing strip beer pong with some ladies.

As for booze and weed ... we're told there were 3 open bars and plenty of kush to go around.

TMZ broke the story ... Bieber's party was a rager and Bieber's neighbors weren't happy -- one even filed a police report, claiming Bieber was disturbing the peace.

Drake and Rihanna are investing big in the Houston stripper market -- dropping a combined $17,000 Thursday at a H-town gentlemen's club ... and we found some booty-bouncing video.

Sources at V Live Gentlemen's Club tell us, Rihanna arrived around 2AM and Drake showed up about 30 minutes later following his show at the Toyota Center.

We're told Drake threw down roughly $12,000 and Rihanna dumped an additional $5,000.

You can't see Drake and Rihanna together in the video, but we're told they sat side by side in the club -- and eventually left together after 5AM. One source said the two were touchy-feely and looked like a couple.

Throw it up, throw it up.

Here's Kate Upton ... basically naked ... with some strategically placed body paint.

You're welcome.

Kate got all painted up for a Sports Illustrated photo shoot -- in the footage, Kate's trying to recreate one of the mag's most famous Swimsuit Edition covers.

We think she nailed it.

"I definitely feel naked," Kate said during the shoot ... "Because I am."

Kate said the artists took a particularly long time to paint on the necklace on her boob area ... yeah, can't imagine why.

If she was shy before, she sure as hell ain't now -- Tami Erin (who starred in the 1988 Pippi Longstocking movie) has gone full-on Vegas stripper after her sex tape hit the market ... and she's even making out with one of Tiger Woods' ex-mistresses.

The pics were snapped at a Halloween party she hosted over the weekend at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club -- surprise -- and the ex-mistress on the receiving end of her smooches is porn star Joslyn James ... aka Tiger mistress #11.

We're told Tami wasn't originally supposed to strip -- she was just hired to host the party -- but when she took the stage to thank the crowd ... she got into the stripping mood real quick ... people even tipped her. (No lap dances though.)

2:36 P.M. PDT -- We just spoke to Mary ... she tells us she took a powerful sleeping pill and had some drinks before her flight ... and she shouldn't have done it. She's excited to attend tonight's party.

Porn star Mary Carey had to be dragged off a plane this morning for being too drunk ... threatening to sabotage a huge party with naked people tonight in Florida ... TMZ has learned.

Carey -- who appeared on "Celebrity Rehab" in 2008 for a drinking problem -- is scheduled to be the featured attraction tonight in Key West for an ABC (Anything But Clothes) party.

Law enforcement sources tell us ... Carey got wasted during a red-eye flight from Cali to Florida ... and refused to get off the plane when it landed in Miami. We're told cops had to remove her from the plane, and she told them she had mixed booze with meds.

Carey was not arrested, but police wouldn't let her board her connecting flight to Key West -- though she eventually got there. We're told the ABC party organizers sent a car to pick her up, and she's sleeping it off now.

Kim Kardashian's gargantuan ass is back in working order ... and last night, she let the world know ... with a backside selfie on Instagram

It's the first butt-selfie Kim's taken since giving birth to Kanye West's baby North back in June.

Kim's been on a serious sexuality kick lately -- on the most recent episode of her reality show, she talked about wanting to pose NAKED asap ... saying, "As soon as I get in shape, the first thing I want to do is Playboy or some nude shoot. I just wanna walk down the street fully naked."

Looks ready to us.