Ride Me

Jimmy Failla -- the taxi driver who rode around with a snake in his cab and then posted riders' reactions to YouTube -- has lost his cabbie license ... but tells TMZ he's gained a slew of new job offers.

Jimmy tells TMZ the Taxi and Limousine Commission yanked his license for two years, but Jimmy is more than ok with it. He says he's gotten two TV development offers, his stand-up career is taking off and he's even auditioned for a slot on "The Tonight Show."

Failla says he's even been approached by producers to pull the prank in Los Angeles, though he says he'd need a fake taxi.

"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" is desperately trying to find a new cast member ... and TMZ has learned they've extended their reach to Hazzard County.

Elly Schneider -- wife of John Schneider (aka Bo Duke) -- tells TMZ John's agent was contacted by honchos at RHOBH to see if she was interested in submitting an audition tape.

As we previously reported -- two of the RHBH stars are on the chopping block -- and producers are looking for fresh meat to throw to the wolves.

The General Lee would look awesome pulling up to Mr. Chow.

So, watch the tape and then tell us ...

A rep for Bravo just got back to us and said they weren't the ones who reached out to Elly.

Former NBA superstar Ben Wallace is currently behind bars in Virginia stemming from a hit-and-run incident in February.

The ex-Detroit Pistons tough guy had appeared in court Tuesday wheer he plead no contest to leaving the scene of a crash in Henrico County, VA on February 8th.

According to police, a vehicle registered to Wallace crashed through a fence outside of a home on a busy stretch of road and then fled the scene ... leaving his SUV unattended at the home.

Justin Bieber has a solid explanation for APPEARING to be under the influence when he was told to walk the line ... he messed up his foot while skateboarding -- and you won't believe how Bieber threw his wealth in the cop's face during the arrest.

Justin has been charged with DUI in Miami Beach. Cops say Bieber tested positive for Xanax and weed ... his alcohol level was inconsequential ... .014.

Cops are hanging their hat on Bieber appearing unsteady as he tried walking the line in jail. But according to newly released documents, Bieber told cops he had a hairline fracture on his right foot ... caused by a skateboarding accident 3 months earlier.

And then there are some snotty comments from the Biebs. According to the new docs, Bieber told the arresting officer, "I'm 19 years old. I'm just out having a good time." The cop responded he wasn't driving around in a Lambo at that age. Bieber fired back, "Yeah, well, I bet you didn't have millions of dollars in your bank account either."

The arresting officer told Bieber it seemed he was having trouble driving the Lamborghini, to which Bieber responded, "What? I've been driving a Lamborghini since I was 15."

Miley Cyrus' tour bus went up in flames last night ... and when we say up in flames ... we mean UP IN FLAMES.

Miley's sister Noah posted a series of videos on Instagram last night with the caption "Tour bus down!" She later confirmed on Twitter that no one was injured.

Yes, everyone got out safe no one is injured what so ever!! everything is okay!!

— Noah Lindsey Cyrus (@noahcyrus) March 18, 2014

9:20 AM PT -- The tour bus was ferrying Miley's mom and sister before it burst into flames. We're told the fire was caused by a tire that exploded, but thankfully, they both escaped unharmed.

There was one casualty however -- the stuffed bunny they got at Cracker Barrel earlier in the day. Noah Instagrammed the bunny photo after the accident.

Unlike most 16-year-olds -- who scrape together money from their part time job to go halfsies with their parents on a used Ford Taurus -- "Modern Family" star Ariel Winter just picked up a brand new Mercedes ... and paid for it in full.

Winter hit up her local Mercedes dealer recently and scored a fully loaded C350, blacked out with the AMG package. We're told Ariel and her sister went in with the idea of getting something nice, but also responsible and safe.

Our sources tells us Winter's dad -- who only recently began siding with Ariel and her sister in their battle against Ariel's mom -- was there to help her sign the papers. Once the deal was closed, Ariel wired the full payment ... just north of $50,000. APR financing is for suckers!

And get this ... the guy in the photo, who sold Ariel the car, is former soap star/current car salesman Matt Borlenghi. The funny part is ... Ariel's mom sued him for defamation in 2012.

Probably not a coincidence.

A cell tower in Kota Bharu could be the missing puzzle piece in the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 last weekend.

There's a theory ... the aircraft doubled back over Malaysia after it began to cross the South China Sea, and crashed off the opposite coast instead ... somewhere in the Malacca Strait.

Malaysian officials have rejected the theory -- but if it's true (as some still believe) the plane would have passed over the city of Kota Bharu, which contains a powerful Celcom cellular phone tower.

Credible mobile analysts tell TMZ, if the plane flew over the tower there's a high likelihood the tower would contain data transmitted by cell phones inside the aircraft ... if the phones were on.

Roughly 30% of passengers leave their phones ON during flights -- this according to published reports.

So ... the cellular tower could be the critical piece of evidence to either prove or disprove the U-turn theory.

A NYC cabbie who pranked passengers with a live snake -- and posted their reactions to YouTube -- doesn't give two craps if the Taxi and Limousine Commission yanks his license ... he tells TMZ, he's on to much bigger things now.

Check out Jimmy Failla's video above -- it's pretty funny -- but New York City's TLC isn't laughing ... calling the prank "monumentally poor judgement on the driver's part." A rep says the commission is now actively reviewing Jimmy's TLC license. It's up for renewal next week.

But Jimmy tells us, if TLC wants to take his license away ... they can have it.

He says he shot the YouTube video to promote his new book ... and he's also making a living as a stand-up comedian -- so he doesn't need to drive cabs anymore. He never really liked doing it anyway.

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Porsha Williams got hosed in her divorce settlement with Kordell Stewart.

According to legal docs -- obtained by TMZ -- Porsha gets NO alimony, NO house, NO NFL retirement money, NO cash-out, NO health insurance. She even has to pay her own credit card balances.

It's almost like a western movie. She gets the Mercedes she drove in on, and that's about it. She does get to keep the engagement ring and all of her personal crap ... jewelry, clothes and other personal items.

As for Kordell ... he gets two houses, 2 plots of land, a 2013 Mercedes and a 2010 Porsche, and his full retirement benefits. He also gets to keep a 100% interest in his companies.

Pretty crazy -- considering there was a lot of talk on "Real Housewives" that Porsha and Kordell did NOT sign a prenup.

Porsha was fighting like crazy to stay in the house, but Kordell changed the locks on her.

And it gets even worse. She's on the chopping block for the show.

On the bright side ... a pawn shop would probably pay a pretty penny for that ring.

Kim Kardashian was a big hit in Beverly Hills today ... she got into a car crash near the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Kim was tooling around in her Mercedes G Wagon on Sunset Blvd. We're told she was turning left at an intersection and the other driver was going in the opposite direction with his right turn signal on. An eyewitness tells TMZ ... the driver did not make the turn, continued going straight and they collided.

Both cars were damaged, but it was not a huge deal. No one was ticketed.

And how's this for Hollywood ... both Kim and the other driver drove their whips to the Beverly Hills Hotel, exchanged info and then hugged goodbye.

Channing Tatum's got brown hair ... but he had a real blonde moment in L.A. last night.

Tatum was gassing up his vintage pick-up when we asked about the head transplant research going on in Italy right now -- seriously, it's a real thing.

We asked Channing if he could put his head on any person's body in the world ... which body would he pick? It was a pretty straightforward question, but Channing's answer ... just listen for yourself.

Talk about a bad day getting worse ... 'cause after Clayton Kershaw lost to the SF Giants yesterday, the Dodgers ace LOCKED HIS KEYS IN HIS CAR ... and had to call in a lefty for the save.

Ya gotta feel for the guy ... you can see the look on his face when he realizes he's locked out.

Come on ... we've all been there.

Kershaw -- along with several members of the Dodgers organization (including teammate Justin Turner) -- scrambled to break into the Ford ... but to no avail.

Eventually, a hero in a reflective green vest arrived to the scene on his noble white steed (his AAA truck) ... and managed to jimmy open the door.

Kershaw kept his cool during the ordeal ... and offered the guy some chips and a bottle of water.

Talk about worst timing ever -- Aaron Paul's badass vintage ride OVERHEATED Thursday night outside the Hollywood premiere for "Need for Speed" ... a movie that's supposed to be about gearhead street racers ... you know, car experts.

The video is pretty fantastic -- Aaron handles the whole situation like a boss, laughing his ass off as steam billows out of his engine just feet away from the red carpet. His wife on the other hand ... she doesn't take it so well.

Calle 13 rapper René Pérez Joglar is leading the charge against conspicuous consumption in the hip hop world -- he just beat his own Maserati to pieces and drove it off a cliff ... all to prove the point that money is killing music.

René pulled off the stunt for his new music video "Adentro" -- and if that wasn't cool enough ... baseball legend Willie Mays actually hands him the bat.

Rene tells us, "I bought the Maserati because I myself fell victim to the stereotypes. I thought that once I had a nice house and a nice car that meant I had made it in the entertainment industry."

The Miami Beach cop who says he saw Justin Bieber drag racing before his DUI arrest may have been caught in a BIG FAT LIE ... because the GPS results from the cop's car shows normal speed.

TMZ has obtained the GPS readout during the 4 AM hour on January 23. Bieber was stopped at 4:11 AM. The cop claims he saw Bieber drag racing rapper Khalil at speeds between 55 and 60.

Now here's the problem. According to the GPS readout on the cop car ... it was going 11 MPH at the 2600 block of Pine Tree Dr. ... which is where the cop says he first spotted the singer in the Lambo.

The cop accelerated from 11 to 31 MPH in a single block but stayed between 30 and 40 for 3 blocks.

The GPS readout shows the cop car accelerated to 46 and then 49 ... but that's the FASTEST it went.

Now this is significant ... at the 3700 block of Pine Tree ... the cop car had slowed down to 31 MPH. This street is critical because according to the cop it was smack in the middle of the drag race. And get this ... we already broke the story that Bieber's GPS shows he was going 27 MPH on that block.

So the question ... where the hell is the drag race? Remember, the other cop on scene may have lied about smelling alcohol on Bieber's breath ... fact is, the singer registered a .014.

The GPS makes the case against Bieber VERY shaky because it calls the arresting officer's credibility into question. We're told Khalil's lawyer, Bradford Cohen, is going to attack the cop's credibility. Khalil was also busted for DUI.

Tyga's $2 million whip was the flame -- and 2 hot chicks were the moths in a West Hollywood nightclub parking lot. Question is: would Tyga's baby mama, Blac Chyna approve of what went down?

The answer is, well ... tricky.