You Might Want to Rethink

Malaysia is on the lookout for bearded men who love working out, because they're gay and gay is illegal there ... this according to one of the top newspapers in the country.

It's almost incredible ... the paper published a guide on how to spot gays and lesbians. The article says gay men's eyes light up when they see handsome men.

As for lesbians ... the newspaper says they have a tendency to hug one another and belittle members of the opposite sex.

Homosexuality is illegal in Malaysia and carries a maximum sentence of 20 years.

Jeremy London's making himself way too familiar in a Mississippi jail -- he was arrested for the second time in less than 2 weeks, but this time it had nothing to do with domestic violence.

The Jackson County Sheriff's Office in Mississippi tells TMZ ... the "Mallrats" star was arrested Sunday morning for missing a hearing stemming from a lawsuit. When he was a no-show, a warrant for his arrest was issued. He posted bail and was released later that evening.

TMZ broke the story ... London was arrested earlier this month for simple assault in an alleged domestic violence incident. As we reported, Jeremy's wife claims he dragged her with a moving car.

Michael Jackson had intimate knowledge of the Donna Summer track he "stole" for "Billie Jean" ... because he sang backup on her song!!!

If ya missed it, Quincy Jones was first to blow the whistle on MJ ... saying he outright stole that famous "Billie Jean" bass line from Donna's song, "State of Independence."

We took Q at his word when we read the Vulture interview ... and listened to both songs. Once we slowed down 'Independence' it was blatantly obvious Quincy was right. Now, for the plot twist!

MJ was part of the all-star lineup that sang backup for Donna's song. Shout out to the loyal TMZ user (@Rascoundrel on Twitter) who pointed out this video ... showing Michael, Stevie Wonder, Dionne Warwick, Lionel Richie and Kenny Loggins in studio. And yeah, Quincy was there producing the whole thing.

Now, Donna and Michael were friends ... so, it's possible she was aware he was lifting the beat. We just don't know.

Of course, Michael still wrote original lyrics and added his signature "hee-hee" all over "Billie Jean" -- but c'mon ... case closed on the beat.

Nancy Pelosi's record-setting speech in the House of Representatives probably would've gone longer if she'd consulted with the modern-day king of filibusters ... Ted Cruz.

We got the Senator Thursday at the D.C. Prayer Breakfast, where we asked what the hardest part was about giving a marathon speech in Congress. He would know ... he's up there with a 21-hour diatribe against Obamacare, when he famously read "Green Eggs and Ham."

Ted says Rand Paul -- who's also experienced in long speeches -- gave him some great advice that might've served Pelosi well for her own relatively meager record address.

Halsey didn't PLAN on showing the world her underwear at an amfAR Gala in NYC -- but when a dude stepped on her dress, pulling it down ... she was exposed like Trump's scalp in a wind tunnel.

The singer was rocking a high-cut black dress to the event when someone who appeared to be working the event tripped out and put his foot down on her Georges Hobeika gown.

Don't worry, Halsey was wearing undies, so it wasn't exactly a full Britney -- but still sucks.

Halsey composed herself, waved to the crowd and walked it -- and snatched her train back from under the shoe.

Bad at love. Good at recovery.

Mark Ruffalo has unbridled contempt for Donald Trump, whom he believes fancies himself as a banana republic dictator.

We got Mark at LAX Wednesday and asked about the Pentagon planning a military parade per President Trump's order, and Mark shot the idea down, calling the Prez a "total egotistical fool."

Logan Paul is dealing in death again -- this time it's a video of himself and a dead rat ... and a taser.

In the video, posted earlier this week on his YouTube channel, Paul and a couple of friends are getting rid of a dead rat they found on an outside deck -- and he decided it would be cool to shoot the carcass with a taser.

He later zaps the rat again after they toss it in a garbage bin.

Paul's still dealing with immense backlash for posting that video of a suicide victim in Japan -- and just last week he claimed to have remorse for that stunt.

So, does this new video jibe with that?

Quincy Jones has made some bold dating claims lately, but this one takes the cake ... he says he used to date Ivanka Trump, who he remembers as being pretty damn hot.

The music legend says he and President Trump's daughter hooked up -- meaning, dated -- about 12 years ago after Tommy Hilfiger told him Ivanka wanted to have dinner with him.

He tells Vulture he jumped at the opportunity, telling Tommy ... "'No problem. She's a fine motherf*****.' She had the most beautiful legs I ever saw in my life. Wrong father, though."

Q said he used to hang with Ivanka's dad too, but his memories were not nearly as fond -- "He's a crazy motherf***er. Limited mentally -- a megalomaniac, narcissistic. I can't stand him."

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's in a dancing mood checking out luxury whips ... probably because he doesn't have to stress about dropping cash on one of them.

The Sitch was with his 'Jersey Shore' pals Ronnie, Vinny and Pauly D Monday in Miami filming for their reunion show, and visited an exotic car dealership to take a couple badass rides for a spin.

Ronnie took the wheel of a Lambo, with Mike riding shotgun -- while Pauly D and Vin hopped in a Bentley.

The sad situation is ... Sitch ain't getting any closer than a test drive. As we reported, he recently pled guilty to tax evasion, and owes a big check to the IRS. He's also looking at up to 5 years in prison and a hefty fine.

Spencer Pratt clearly hasn't given up on his crystal craze -- or having more babies -- because he hasn't let up in either department.

We got the 'Hills' star Monday in Times Square and asked for an update on how fatherhood was treating him, four months after Heidi Montag popped out their first child, Gunner. He tells us it's been nothing but getting vomited and pissed on ... so far, so good it seems.

Spencer insinuates Heidi may be pregnant again ... in the very, very early stages.

Well, this is disgusting ... an Eagles fan in a throwback Randall Cunningham jersey ate horse feces off the ground in Philadelphia last night.

Yup.

And why? Because he was happy ... we think.

By the way, it's not like people were trying to talk him out of it -- you can hear the crowd of fellow Philly fans cheering him on as he puts his face right up in the crap.

Cops insist nobody died in the crazy Super Bowl celebration ... so, Mr. Poo-Eater here clearly survived the stunt.

Justin Timberlake's gonna have words with the audio guys, because they ruined his Super Bowl halftime performance.

JT hit the stage Sunday -- his first shot at redemption since the infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction -- and this go-around didn't go much better.

The singer was almost impossible to hear, sometimes muted and sometimes almost silent. Meanwhile, his backup singers could be heard crystal clear.

It's unclear if he knew the mic was wonky.

The halftime show should have been sponsored by Verizon ... and the answer is no.

If you're drinking with Brody Jenner and get a funny taste in your mouth ... check to see if the beer's been mixed with his foot sweat.

Brodes was enjoying The Groove Cruise in Miami when he got a hankering for a good ol' fashioned swig of beer from his shoe ... and wanted DJ Thomas Jack to join him.

DJ TJ declined -- for obvious reasons -- but Jenner wasn't having it and kept pestering him to take a sip. When that didn't work, he talked smack about Jack's profession ... and continued drinking his foot beer.

This isn't a new thing for Brody, by the way -- he apparently loves doing "shoeys" ... especially on airplanes.

The Ivy -- world-famous for drawing in celebs from Jennifer Lopez and Sofia Vergara to Rob Lowe and Magic Johnson -- got a frightening call from a man yelling homophobic slurs and threatening to blow up the joint ... and cops are investigating.

According to legal docs obtained by TMZ ... the call came 4 days before Christmas when a man said, "You're all pieces of shit, all of you are trash." The maitre d' asked the caller how he could help him, and the man replied, "You're all a bunch of fudge packers, I'm going to blow you all up."

The employee jotted down the guy's number, thanks to caller ID, and called cops to report the incident. LAPD got a search warrant to track down the suspect.

Cops are on the hunt for the culprit.

Von Miller almost didn't make it Super Bowl LII because his Uber ride broke down before he could even hit the road ... but luckily, the crisis was averted.

We got Von boarding an Uber Sunday in Minneapolis ahead of the big game between the Pats and Eagles, and his driver's car wouldn't start. The Broncos star wasn't about to sit around and miss the kickoff -- he bolted from the car and ordered himself a new one.

Desiigner was caught on video exposing himself twice during a heated argument ... and now cops wanna have a chat with him ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the rapper got into a traffic dispute with another driver behind him. You can see in the video the other driver calls Desiigner a homophobic slur before the rapper confronts him and exposes himself twice, yelling "Suck my d***."

You can also see there's a cop on the scene -- we're told the officer tried to intervene, but both parties took off. NYPD wants to talk to the rapper based on the video.

We've reached out to Desiigner, so far no word back. He also exposed himself a few months ago in L.A., but at least that time seemed to be a biological emergency.