Breathe easy, James Deen ... Farrah Abraham is NOT PREGNANT ... not even a little bit, as far as she knows.

The "Teen Mom"-slash-porn-star pre-taped an episode of upcoming conflict resolution talk show "The Test," where producers convinced her to take one -- and it was NEGATIVE. (Trust us, that's a POSITIVE).

TMZ broke the story ... Abraham said she missed her period after making her porno with Deen. She was photographed while plunking down cash for an EPT at the drug store.

But Farrah told "The Test" host Kirk Fox that she never took that test (her explanation was WAY too convoluted to make any sense ... so we're going with "not enough cameras around").

We're told Farrah reacted indifferently. We can relate.

Justin Bieber could have a brand new porn-star neighbor in his ultra-exclusive L.A. community -- 'cause TMZ has learned Farrah Abraham has her eye on a $3 million pad right around the corner from the singer.

We've learned ... the star of "Back Door Teen Mom" was on the mansion hunt this weekend in The Oaks in Calabasas -- an expensive gated community home to stars like Kourtney Kardashian, Travis Barker, Romeo, Keyshawn Johnson, Shanna Moakler and others.

One of the homes that tickled Farrah's fancy was a 4,851 square feet pad with 5 bedrooms, 6 baths ... and a $3,299,900 price tag.

It's unclear if Farrah has already put down an offer ... but with the 6-figures she made from the tape, she could definitely afford the down payment.

The monthly mortgage payments, on the other hand ... let's just say she might need to re-open the back door if she plans on staying here a while.

Rocky's boxing gloves ... Dorothy's ruby slippers ... Indiana Jones' bullwhip ... the bikini Farrah Abraham wore on the cover of her sex tape -- one of these pieces of cinema history CAN BE YOURS!!! --- take a guess which.

Vivid Entertainment -- the porn studio behind the release of "Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom" -- listed Farrah's pink crystal-encrusted two-piece on eBay at midnight ... and bids started at $500.

It's pretty hilarious ... the listing advertises the Poolside Collection bikini as "used" -- we're told that means exactly what you think it means: the bikini wasn't washed since Farrah wore it.  Think Monica Lewinsky and The Gap.

In fact, we're told the bikini shows overt signs of wear, including fake tan stains and glitter from Farrah's body lotion.

As the listing goes ... "Farrah's bikini ... straight off Farrah's body and into your hands."

As if your hands won't already be busy enough.

Newly minted porn star Farrah Abraham is so worried James Deen knocked her up while filming their infamous sex tape ... she peed on a stick.

Sources close to Farrah tell TMZ ... the former "Teen Mom" star hadn't had sex in more than a year before James got her ... and the duo didn't wear condoms while filming ... and Farrah wasn't on birth control. Basically all the makings for an after school special.

We're told Farrah recently missed her period and started freaking out, thinking she was growing a little porn spawn.  So she went shopping for a pregnancy test at her local pharmacy.

We're going to go to out on a limb that she's NOT pregnant ... for 2 reasons.

1.  We've seen the tape, and you don't get pregnant THAT way.

2. It's not that James' parting gift went IN her as much as ON her.

"Sex in the Lounge" singer Bobby V doesn't limit himself to lounges ... he does the nasty in all kinds of rooms ... as evidenced by a new sex tape claiming to feature the R&B singer being shopped to the highest bidder.

The XXX vid -- which we've seen -- is several glorious minutes of Bobby doing his best impersonation of Ray J ... i.e. getting it on inside a hotel room while filming himself at the same time.

Specifically, Bobby and the naked chick -- who we're told is a video vixen -- kick things off with some very specific touching ... before diving in to the full on sex-having.

The seller is clearly looking to make a buck off the sale and it's unclear if Bobby is aware the steamy vid is being shopped. We reached out to him, but no word back.

Now here he is with his clothes on.

Bad news: Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil is going to be in porn.
Good news: She won't be having sex with anyone.

Sources close to the SPF -5 mom tell TMZ ... Krentcil first offered up her services to Vivid Entertainment, but they wisely passed. But Lucas Entertainment, a company that produces a series of gay porn called "Kings of New York," became interested ... and cast Krentcil in their latest episode. 

According to our sources, the role is just a cameo and Krentcil will be paid $1,000 for just a few hours work. Most importantly, we're told Krentcil will be fully clothed for the shoot and there is NO sex involved.

Whew, that was close.

Hulk Hogan is committing Internet genocide on his sex tape ... systematically seeking out and removing ALL copies of the XXX footage from the web, TMZ has learned.

Hulk recently obtained a temporary restraining order against Gawker Media, banning the website from displaying excerpts from his infamous sex tape with Bubba the Love Sponge's ex-wife.

Gawker agreed to remove the video -- at least for the time being -- and now, we've learned Hulk is trying use the restraining order to force every other website on the planet to remove the footage too.

To prove Hulk means business, we've obtained one of the letters sent by Hogan's attorney to TheDirty.com -- which posted screenshots of the sex footage several times last year -- and it's pretty aggressive.

If The Dirty doesn't remove the images ASAP, Hulk's lawyer says he'll take drastic legal action to make sure the website complies. FYI, The Dirty hasn't done squat yet.

And Hulk might be fighting a losing battle -- because once something's on the Internet, it's pretty much there to stay. Forever.

Farrah Abraham clearly has STDs on the brain ... 'cause that's all she wanted to talk about last night.

The "Teen Mom" star was outside Katsuya in Hollywood ... when we asked about her new 6-figure endorsement deal for a weight loss product.

The fun part -- we asked if she was present for lab testing (on the product) ... but Farrah thought we were talkin' about her vagina. She was very forthcoming, as usual.

Still, one question remains -- who's watching her kid?

Farrah Abraham is a backdoor crowd pleaser for sure ... because there was such intense, pent-up interest in her porn video, it crashed Vivid's site.

According to our porn sources ... Farrah's 70-minute debut, "Backdoor Teen Mom," lured in more than 2 million visitors in just 12 hours Monday ... annihilating the record previously held by Kim K and Ray J -- which attracted 600,000 during the same time frame.

Farrah swamped Vivid's servers so hard ... the site went down Monday morning for 9 minutes ... which is more than enough time to satisfy most of the buyers -- trust us ...

Vivid honchos tell us they were able to access additional servers to handle, as they put it, "the immense load."

For the record ... Farrah also handled the immense load.

Farrah Abraham is following the Kim Kardashian Steps to Fame Playbook to perfection -- TMZ has learned the newly-minted porn star has just inked her first endorsement deal ... and the check has its fair share of zeroes at the end of it.

The Backdoor Teen Mom has signed on to endorse a product called Raspberry Tones ... which bills itself as a "diet and fat-loss" pill. We're told it wasn't the sex tape that caught the company's eye (ok, maybe a little) but rather the bikini pics of Farrah that surfaced last month. 

According to our sources, Farrah loved the idea of endorsing a health product and couldn't pass up the payday ... which, we're told, is somewhere in the low six figures.

A rep for the company tells TMZ, "Farrah represents a growing audience of young, active people who take care of their health and use only natural products to look and feel great. Farrah looks fit and fabulous, and takes care of her body, and a lot of health-conscious people can look up to that."

Taking pills isn't really Farrah's strong suit, but you can't get pregnant if you skip one of these ... so she'll be fine.

The porn honcho behind the release of "Teen Mom" Farrah Abraham's sex tape is giving MTV -- which carries the show -- fair warning ... the video will be released to the world on Monday ... unless they come up with a really good legal reason to keep it under wraps.

Vivid Entertainment Prez Steve Hirsch is downright diabolical ... sending the network a "put-up-or-shut-up" ultimatum just days before the tape goes wide.   Hirsch wants to know if there's something in Farrah's contract that would prohibit her from doing her backdoor tricks with porn star James Deen.

So the clock -- we said clock -- is ticking as the world waits to watch Farrah take a licking.