Money

Too bad you're not one of Britney Spears' dogs, because if you were, she would treat you like a king ... dropping tens of thousands of bucks on your every need.

TMZ just obtained records of Britney's finances, filed in her conservatorship case, and the headline is all about the pooches. Brit dropped $24,720 in 2014 on pet care. And get a load of the breakdown -- $14,720 on pet sitting, $300 a pop for the groomer, 12 visits to the animal hospital totaling more than $4k.

She can certainly afford it. According to the docs, the conservatorship raked in $14 million in gross profits in 2014 ... and that's only a portion of Britney's fortune. A lot of her income is made outside the conservatorship.

But it's expensive to be Britney. The $14 million was significantly whittled down, because she spent $5.7 million on stuff, that included $15,270 on meals and entertainment and $71,629 on grooming and wardrobe.

And this will make you feel poor. She spent $4k on Halloween decorations and another $6k on various holiday decorations.

BTW ... she spent only $6k -- on human gifts.

Dez Bryant says he's sick and tired of people calling him "selfish" for holding out of Dallas Cowboys training camp -- saying he just wants to be paid fairly and he's been quiet for too long.

Long story short ... Bryant and the Cowboys are in a heated contract dispute -- with Dez needing to strike a long-term deal by July 15th or else he'll be locked into the league-mandated franchise tag salary for the season ... which is roughly $13 million.

Dez has remained silent on the issue ... until now ... when he went to Twitter and wrote, "Everybody voicing opinions..13 mil is cool but Where is my security? I'll wait ...5 years without complaining..So how am I selfish? #family1"

Translation -- $13 million for one season is nice, but what if he gets hurt? The 1-year deal doesn't protect his financial future.

Another interesting point ... "5 years without complaining" -- it seems like Dez is implying that he's been a good, quiet soldier and the team should have come to him first with a shiny new contract.

For now, Dez's strategy is to hold out until the team breaks down and offers a new deal.

Question is ... will his strategy pay off?

Dating Katt Williams is like winning the lottery, just ask his girlfriend of 7 months, Hazel-E.

The "Love And Hip Hop: Hollywood" star was cruising Bev Hills in a Porsche Panamera bought by Katt ... while wearing a giant ring bought by Katt ... and recovering from a nose job -- wait for it -- paid for by Katt!

Fact is, Hazel's scored a ton of loot from her BF, and she reveals the biggest item in this clip.

Also on display here -- loyalty. Katt's gonna love Hazel-E's shout out to the photog who's suing him for robbery.

Ride or die.

Business tycoon Kirk Kerkorian -- the billionaire behind Las Vegas casinos, Hollywood's MGM Studio, and Chrysler ... has died at the age of 98.

Kerkorian died in Los Angeles on Monday after a brief illness.

He's most famous for making Vegas what it is today -- as the founder of MGM Resorts his company went on to purchase more than half of the rooms on the Strip by swallowing up competitors like Mirage Resorts and Mandalay Resorts.

A major notch in his belt -- he's responsible for luring Elvis Presley and Barbra Streisand to perform in Vegas.

Kerkorian bought and sold MGM Studios multiple times. He made major bank off his purchase of the James Bond franchise, and merging United Artists with MGM.

He's also famous for his 2001 divorce from his wife of one month, Lisa Bonder. She wanted $320,000 a month in alimony and child support. He eventually paid her $10 million plus $100k/month in child support ... even though he turned out to not be the father!

Dwight Howard's baby mama wasn't talking out of her ass with that whole "celeb kids have psychological baggage" argument ... this according to an expert in the field, Dr. Drew.

We broke the story ... a woman named Tiffany is demanding more child support from the NBA star -- and part of her argument is that her child will likely need expensive therapy sessions later on to "deal with the unique issues involved in being the child of a celebrity."

So, we asked Dr. Drew if there was any weight to her argument ... and he explained why it's "not totally unreasonable."

Drew acknowledged there is some added stress that goes along with being the child of a famous person ... but says it's not really a problem that money can cure.

That giant inflatable swan Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris rode into the California sunset this week isn’t just making a big splash in the pool … it’s making a bigger one at the bank.

Sales for the floating swan have skyrocketed according to manufacturer Swimline, thanks to the pro-bono marketing from celebs like Kim Kardashian, Kate Upton, Kendall Jenner and Zooey Deschanel, who have all been pictured on it. Taylor and Calvin are just the latest in a long line.

Swimline says they sold 41,000 swans in the first six months of 2015 alone. At $49.99 a bird, that’s a $2 million payday. Not bad compared to $400k total sales in 2013.

As for a black swan … Swimline tried, but the black prototypes got too hot in the sun. But hope isn't lost ...they’re testing out different materials for next year.

They like giving celebs the bird.

Lana Del Rey is sick of fans creeping up on her personal space so she's packing up and heading to her new secluded $3 mil Malibu pad.

Real estate sources tell TMZ, Lana’s new 3 bed, 4 bath beachfront home is 2,860 sq. ft. and is completely surrounded by rocks … which means no neighbors.

In Malibu terms, a 3,000-ish square foot house on the beach isn't outlandish. In fact, it would be a lot more if it weren't a wet beach ... a little further up the coast.

Lana's been living in the ritzy Hancock Park area of L.A. which is just too accessible to fans, some of whom would camp out on her street. It got so bad one fan got in her backyard.

She plans on fixing up her new 'Bu home ... a remodel is in order.

It wasn't enough for “CoCo” rapper O.T. Genasis to flash us a giant wad of cash in his pocket -- he also popped the trunk of his SUV to reveal racks and racks of cash ... stacked and stacked in his ride!!

It's easily one of the most baller -- and yet, ill-advised -- moves we've ever seen a rapper make. And we've seen a lot.

No one loved to cuss people out in autographs more than Mickey Mantle -- and now, a signed baseball in which he refers to Joe DiMaggio as "f**ker" has just sold ... for $12,000!!!

It's unclear exactly when Mantle signed the ball, but the people at Steiner Sports tell us Mantle signed it right after spilling a drink on DiMaggio at some sort of event back in the day.

The signature reads, "I'm sorry I spilled a drink on this f**ker. MM."

Joe DiMaggio also signed the ball ... and we're told both signatures have been authenticated.

Mantle LOVED to screw around when it came to signing his name ... sometimes dropping F-bombs because he thought it was funny (and most of the time it was) ... like here and here.

As for who bought the DiMaggio ball ... so far, the buyer's identity has not been revealed.

The Game ... had a real moment with us Thursday night ... when he talked about the realities of being a celebrity.

Our photog spotted Game leaving Supperclub LA, and asked about the $12 million lawsuit filed by an off-duty cop who claims the rapper assaulted him during a basketball game.

Game made it clear ... he feels like a big target for people who want a payday, but at the same time he says it's his responsibility to contain himself.

Floyd Mayweather is about to make even MORE money this year -- 'cause TMZ Sports has learned he's selling his ultra-rare Ferrari Enzo super car ... FOR $3.8 MILLION!!!

Mayweather only bought the car in January for $3.2 mil ... but after putting 194 miles on the whip, he decided it was time to swap it out for a brand new ride.

BTW -- the car's previous owner is the Shiekh of Abu Dhabi.

We spoke with Floyd's exotic car dealer, Obi Okeke -- owner of Fusion Luxury Motors in L.A. -- who tells us Mayweather made it clear he wants to move fast on the deal and wants to use the profits to buy TWO other insane vehicles.

Okeke says he's been sworn to secrecy about the other cars until Floyd takes possession of them -- but says, "They're extremely expensive and will shock everyone."

Former action star Ernie Reyes Jr. -- who famously played Keno in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II" -- is "fighting for his life" after suffering from kidney failure ... this according to his family.

Reyes Jr. was huge back in the day -- starring as Tai in "The Last Dragon," Prince Tarn in "Red Sonja" ... and he was the main character in "Surf Ninjas."

He later transitioned into MMA -- and went 3-0 in Strikeforce.

Now, 43-year-old Reyes Jr. is hoping for a kidney transplant after his own began to fail back in March. Since then, he's been in and out of the hospital in Texas ... and his eyesight is failing.

Ernie's sister tells TMZ Sports ... Reyes is in the process of getting on a transplant list -- but in the meantime, he's been receiving dialysis treatments 3 times per week.

We're told the family has set up a fundraising page to help with medical bills and several folks from his films and TV shows -- like stunt coordinator pals James Lew from "Rush Hour 2" and Andy Cheng from “The Rundown” -- have pitched in.

Get well soon, man.

This video is some "Scarface" s**t -- O.T. Genasis rolling with more dead presidents than Arlington National Cemetery, and he popped his trunk to show off the massive STACKS of cold hard cash.

The "CoCo" rapper was out Wednesday in Beverly Hills, and all we asked was how he planned to top his hit song -- and then he flashed a wad of cash in his pocket. That alone would've been impressive.

But then he walked to his Yukon (which we're dubbing the Benji Mobile) and revealed the crazy amounts of cash! Seriously, it's several hundreds of thousands.

O.T. tells us what he plans to do with the loot -- or at least, some of it. He doesn't explain how he got it. What's really insane is he only has ONE bodyguard, and he's NOT in an armored truck!

Bev Hills ain't the 'hood, but damn ...

Mama June's daughter Anna/Chickadee was bullied into suing her mother -- bullied by her grandmother and her grandmother's BF -- and Mama June says she has text messages to prove it.

TMZ broke the story ... Anna is suing Mama June, claiming June kept all the 'Honey Boo Boo' money that should have been distributed to the family. Both Anna and her daughter Kaitlyn are suing.

But TMZ has learned June will file legal docs Thursday, claiming her mother, Sandra Hale, is behind the lawsuit and Anna never wanted to file it nor does she believe what's being alleged.

We know June has text messages from Anna to a family member, one of which says, "I did not hire the lawyer. My grandma did ... I know I can't get her money and that's what I tried to tell him [Sandra's boyfriend]."

What's more, June has another text from Anna which reads, "I never really talked to [the lawyer] cause my grandma boyfriend talked the whole time and then kicked me out so he could talk to the guy. So Idk what was said behind closed door."

We got Mama June at LAX a few months ago, and she clearly knew who was fueling the family feud, calling her mom "a money hungry bitch."

Kim Kardashian stuck with the BALLS theme for Kanye West's birthday, because when he got home from playing hoops at Staples Center with his boys ... she dropped another surprise on him.

Kim tipped off part TWO of Yeezy's birthday by unveiling his very own basketball sanctuary ... IN HIS BACKYARD!!

While Kanye was shooting around with celebrity friends on Monday, Kim had construction crews break ground on the new home court going up at at their home.

All in all , the 7,000 sq. ft addition to their Hidden Hills mansion will include the tricked out basketball court AND a glam room -- probably a little gift for KK herself.

All this, just for his 38th. Ye's 4-0 is gonna be ridic.

Cynthia Bailey of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" is pulling out all the stops to spoil her daughter Noelle with the ultimate sweet 16 ... and of course, the entire thing is going to be televised.

TMZ has learned that Cynthia is throwing a bomb-ass birthday party for her daughter and she's getting help from celebrity event planner David Tutera. We’re told Cynthia is getting the extra help because the party will be featured on an episode of Tutera’s “CELEBrations” on WeTV.

Cynthia's inviting a couple hundred guests -- and Rev. Run's son Diggy Simmons is going to perform, along with Disney star Trevor Jackson.