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Imagine President Trump sliding into your DMs -- okay, now take a deep breath because it's not THAT bad, but most likely you DID just get a text from him ... and a dead serious one at that.

If you haven't looked down at your phone recently ... FEMA sent out the first nationwide presidential alert text on behalf of POTUS Wednesday at 2:18 PM ET. It was just a test, and the real thing would only be used during a national crisis when it would be necessary to immediately contact all citizens.

We had our cameras set on Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star and at Time's Square -- and the moment the message hit was pretty obvious -- check out everyone who pulled out their phones.

Interestingly, the text is neutral and contains zero messaging directly from Trump -- "THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed." FEMA says the Prez gives the go-ahead to send the text, while FEMA drafts and sends the actual message.

If you're wondering ... the system doesn't allow 45 to wake up in the morning and decide on a whim to send a blast message to all Americans. Still gotta see Twitter for that.

WHY IS NOAH SYNDERGAARD LETTING ANYONE NEAR THAT BEAUTIFUL HAIR WITH A RAZOR?!?!!

Because "Vikings." That's why.

The NY Mets pitcher -- who earned the nickname Thor because of that godlike blonde mane -- was offered a role on the insanely violent History Channel show but it came with a catch ... ya gotta tweak that 'do.

Don't worry, it's not all the way gone -- as Noah put it, "Party on top, business on the sides."

Noah says his character's name is "Thorbjorn" -- he's a badass -- and he'll be featured on season 6. Chances Thorbjorn meets a gruesome death? Very high (everyone dies on that show).

Producers must be stoked Noah actually showed up for the shoot -- as we previously reported, they've been screwed over by big celebrity guests in the past.

In fact, Katheryn Winnick -- who plays Lagertha on the show -- says Conor McGregor bailed on filming a scene at the last minute ... forcing Katheryn and her team to rewrite the episode.

Cristiano Ronaldo is firing back against allegations he raped a woman at a Vegas hotel back in 2009 -- saying, "Rape is an abominable crime that goes against everything that I am and believe in."

The soccer superstar is being sued by Kathryn Mayorga -- who claims she met CR7 at Rain Nightclub in the Palms hotel in June 2009 and he invited her up to his penthouse suite to party and hot tub.

There are photos of Mayorga and Ronaldo hanging out at the nightclub together that evening.

While changing her clothing, Mayorga claims, "Ronaldo entered the bathroom, exposed his erect penis and asked [her] to perform fellatio."

Mayorga says she refused and wanted to leave -- but Ronaldo "pulled [her] into a bedroom and onto a bed and attempted to engage in sexual intercourse."

Mayorga claims she tried to fight Ronaldo off -- but he turned her onto her side and sodomized her while she screamed "no, no, no."

In her suit, Mayorga claims she reported the incident to the Las Vegas Metro Police Dept. -- but didn't identify Ronaldo by name out of fear of retaliation.

Mayorga claims immediately following the 2009 incident, Ronaldo and his team of "fixers" coerced her into signing a settlement and nondisclosure agreement -- in which she got $375k in exchange for her silence. She's seeking in her lawsuit to void the deal.

Now, Ronaldo is speaking out ... adamantly denying the allegations.

"I firmly deny the accusations being issued against me," Ronaldo said.

"Rape is an abominable crime that goes against everything that I am and believe in. Keen as I may be to clear my name, I refuse to feed the media spectacle created by people seeking to promote themselves at my expense."

"My clear conscious will thereby allow me to await with tranquillity the results of any and all investigations."

Pierre-Edouard Bellemare won't have to worry about helmet hair when the NHL season kicks off Thursday night ... 'cause the Vegas Golden Knights star got a fresh bald haircut from some tough ladies battling cancer!!

The French winger joined a ferocious group of breast cancer patients for a head-shaving bash outside T-Mobile Arena on Tuesday ... as part of the beginning Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Not only does P.E.B. go all the way in with the fresh cut ... he returns the favor and puts his barber skills to use as well!!

Bellemare loved it. The women loved it. We're loving it.

And, if this gesture wasn't awesome enough for you ... the event raised $20,000 for the American Cancer Society (click here to donate).

The Rockies were the WORST houseguests Tuesday night ... 'cause after they booted the Cubs from the playoffs -- they SOAKED their Wrigley Field locker room in bubbly and beer!!!

Colorado scored in the top of the 13th in the NL Wild Card game and slammed the door on Chicago in the bottom of the frame ... and then it was time for champagne and Budweiser.

The team sprayed down the whole locker room -- although they were at least kind enough to put up the tarps beforehand.

There was an MVP chant for Charlie Blackmon ... Nolan Arenado made sure to bring the tunes ... and Tony Wolters (dude with the game-winning RBI) had a great dance. Good times were had by all.

It's the Brewers up next for the Rockies in the NLDS. Series starts Thursday.

The LAPD says the suspects who have been raiding the homes of celebrities in L.A. had a list of a dozen more stars they were targeting including LeBron James, Viola Davis and Matt Damon.

... and cops say the suspects had already obtained the addresses of their famous targets.

As we previously reported, cops had arrested one of the suspects who had allegedly hit the homes of Yasiel Puig, Rihanna, Christina Milian and L.A. Rams star Robert Woods ... but now, officials say they've arrested 3 more people.

Of the 4 people in custody ... 2 of them are 19-year-old men, one is an 18-year-old man and the other is a 34-year-old woman.

The female suspect is the MOTHER of one of the teenage men, according to LAPD Capt. Lillian Carranza.

And, that's not all ... cops believe there are more people involved in the burglaries and investigators are currently on the hunt to catch them too.

In total, cops say the burglary crew has already hit more than 24 homes -- with at least 12 more rich and famous targets in their sights.

The key to solving the case ... cops say Robert Woods' neighbor made the initial call to report the robbery at his house and when they found the first suspect, the found items connected to the other high profile cases.

In total, cops say the group stole more than $1 MILLION in property -- including $50,000 cash, watches, purses and a vehicle. Cops say one of the suspects also had a firearm.

Cops are asking the public to help strengthen their case against the suspects by identifying the stolen objects and giving information about the suspects and other possible crimes.

It was just a matter of time, but the NFL has finally suspended Seattle Seahawks linebacker Mychal Kendricks for his role in an insider trading case.

Kendricks has already confessed and pled guilty to insider trading in a scheme, where he made more than $1.2 MILLION by plying a Goldman Sachs analyst with perks like cash and NFL tickets in exchange for private information.

Kendricks was cut by the Cleveland Browns after they found out about the charges during the NFL preseason -- but he was picked up the Seahawks shortly after ... knowing the league would probably suspend him.

In the 3 games he played in this season, Kendricks did well ... racking up 13 solo tackles and 2 sacks.

Now, the league has suspended him indefinitely while Kendricks waits for the sentencing phase (which is scheduled for January).

Dez Bryant sent a memo to NFL teams Tuesday ... and here it is.

The ex-Dallas Cowboys superstar hit the football field and caught passes with one hand ... with two hands ... and then lying down.

"Monkey started to jump on my back," Dez said of the workout ... "We got some great work in today."

Translation: PLEASE SIGN ME!!!!!!

Dez hasn't found a football home since the 'Boys booted him back in April ... and just days after Terrell Owens told TMZ Sports Dez's career will be over if he ain't signed in the next few months -- Dez hit social media with this.

Coincidence?? We think not.

Mac Miller's life will be celebrated with a gigantic show in Los Angeles featuring some of music's biggest acts who also happened to be the rapper's biggest friends.

An announcement for "Mac Miller: A Celebration of Life" just dropped ... and names on the ticket include Travis Scott, SZA, Chance The Rapper, John Mayer, Schoolboy Q, Ty Dolla $ign, Miguel and many, many more.

Proceeds from the show will benefit The Mac Miller Circles Fund and will go down Halloween night at The Greek Theatre.

Mac's mom, Karen, made the announcement for the show, saying, "Thank you to all the artists, friends and partners for helping to bring this all to fruition .. in honor of wonderful Malcolm .. who is in all of our hearts."

Mac died at his home in Los Angeles September 7 of an apparent drug overdose.

The Capitals' first-ever Stanley Cup came with boobs, booze, F-bombs and even a baby for captain Alex Ovechkin ... and on Monday night -- it came with a boat-load of diamonds too!!!

Ovi, T.J. Oshie and the rest of the squad picked up their championship rings -- and yeah, they're icy.

The team says they feature 252 diamonds, 35 rubies and a big-ass sapphire ... all set into a 14-karat white and yellow gold ring.

The inside is engraved with the scores of the series that led them to the cup too. Pretty cool, right??

It's the diamond-topper to a Washington summer that kicked off with a boob flash during the cup ceremony ... followed by an F-bomb-laced parade -- and finished with LOTS of booze.

Great news for Tyler Eifert -- who had his ankle snapped in half on Sunday -- 'cause the Cincinnati Bengals TE is in good spirits after going under the knife ... and vows to be back better than ever!!

ICYMI -- Eifert suffered a nasty right ankle injury in the 3rd quarter of the Falcons game this week ... after De'Vondre Campbell accidentally fell on him while making a tackle.

It was a disgusting sight ... and if you haven't already seen it, DON'T CLICK ON IT.

Eifert shared a post-surgery pic with a thumbs-up on Monday night ... saying "At least my end zone celebration was fun! Thanks to everyone for the kind words. I’m all fixed, Dr. Anderson is the best. I’ll be back!"

Eifert has had his fair share of injuries since he was drafted in 2013 ... a dislocated elbow in 2014, stinger injuries in 2013 and 2015, back injury in 2016 and 2017. But, he's clearly not fazed by his history.

Ex-NFL wideout Dorial Green-Beckham avoided serious jail time for his December drunk driving arrest ... in part 'cause the judge says he can still influence the community in his hometown.

As TMZ Sports reported ... DGB was busted for DWI back on Dec. 30 in Missouri when a cop suspected the ex-Eagles WR was intoxicated while picking up a friend at 3 AM.

Cops were right. He later pled guilty to misdemeanor DWI and was facing six months behind bars and a $1,000 fine.

But, when the 25-year-old appeared in court for sentencing Monday ... the Greene County judge let him off easy, in part because DGB -- as one of the greatest H.S. football players in the town's history -- can still have an impact on kids in the community.

"We're all pulling for you," the judge said, via the Springfield News-Leader.

"Don't forget that. This whole community is pulling for you."

The judge sentenced Dorial to 2 years of unsupervised probation, 60 hours of community service and a substance awareness traffic program.

DGB was the top-rated recruit in the 2012 class ... but flamed out at both Missouri and in the NFL thanks, in large part, to off-the-field issues.

Dorial's attorney told the Springfield News-Leader he could be trying to make a comeback to football ... perhaps in the Canadian Football League.

Remember, HE'S ONLY 25!!!

3:42 PM PT -- A source close to Birdman says the phone call was in no way referring to the bus shooting. Even further, we're told Birdman doesn't believe Winfrey is the shooter ... and he would never associate with someone who tried to harm Wayne.

It's worth noting ... Winfrey's conviction was overturned in July due to biased conduct by the judge in his case. He's still in custody awaiting a new trial, or possibly a new plea deal.

The man convicted of shooting up Lil Wayne's tour bus took a jailhouse phone call from Birdman ... and it sounds like Birdman was congratulating him on a job well done.

The phone call was made while Jimmy Winfrey was incarcerated in Cobb County, GA. Winfrey would eventually be convicted and sentenced to 20 years, including 10 years to serve in prison and 10 years of probation, for shooting Weezy's bus in April 2015.

During the call Birdman says, "Time for you to come out here and get your money. You did everything you could do, boss."

The audio is shocking for several reasons, not the least of which being the fact Wayne and Birdman recently squashed their beef, and Wayne finally released "Tha Carter V."

The phone convo was uncovered as part of a separate civil lawsuit, filed by the tour bus driver, Alvin Lewis ... against Birdman and Young Thug. In docs, obtained by TMZ, Lewis says Birdman had promised Winfrey $250k and a Porsche. The intimation is the cash and car were payment for the shooting.

As we reported, the Cobb County D.A. is considering filing charges against Thug and Birdman for the shooting.

Ex-WWE superstar Alberto Del Rio has announced his plans to return to MMA ... more than 8 YEARS after his last real fight!!

The 41-year-old -- real name Jose Rodriguez -- announced his decision to return to MMA for Combate Americas on Monday ... and he's gunning to get in the cage in 2019.

Del Rio's last MMA fight was a Cage of Combat event back on Feb. 27, 2010 ... when he lost to Yamamoto Hanshi in a 2nd round TKO.

“I’m going to jump back in the cage -- or in the cage for the first time -- because I used to fight in rings in Mexico and in Asia, but never inside the cage,” Del Rio told The MMA Hour.

“So for 2019, I’m going to be doing that. I’m going to be fighting in the cage for Combate Americas, mi familia, mi casa, and I’m not just saying this because my boss is here and he writes my checks."

Del Rio says he expects to fight a big-name MMA star and draw a huge pay-per-view ... but says his opponent has not been made official yet.

LaMelo Ball was anything but mellow during his JBA international matchup on Monday -- SLAPPING his opponent and starting a BRAWL before getting ejected!!

The youngest Ball's Team USA squad was facing Alytaus Dzukija in Lithuania (welcome back) ... when Melo and his opponent got physical in the 3rd quarter ... and Melo hit him with a slap that would make Nate Diaz proud!!

Both benches cleared ... and all the players -- including Melo's older brother, LiAngelo -- had to be separated from the other teams.

Legendary sportscaster Ernie Johnson has just announced he will NOT be covering the MLB playoffs for TBS ... after doctors diagnosed him with blood clots in both of his legs.

The 62-year-old says he was undergoing a routine physical when doctors found the clots -- which can be fatal if not treated immediately.

The danger with blood clots ... they can break off and enter the blood stream and, in some cases, can cause a pulmonary embolism, which is a blockage of an artery in the lungs.

Johnson says he understands the situation -- and he's treating it aggressively with blood thinners and compression socks.

Flying in planes can be dangerous when diagnosed with clots -- and since Johnson would be taking a bunch of flights in a relatively short time period, his medical team advised him it wasn't worth the risk.

"The best course of action is to just stay grounded at this point, not fly," EJ said ... "blood clots are nothing to be messed with."

While recovering and treating the clots, Johnson says he'll be preparing to cover the NBA when the season kicks off in just a few weeks.