One erects buildings, the other erects ... well, you know ... but it seems a construction company in Canada is taking a shot at Kim Kardashian with a hilarious street sign, and TMZ has the pic.
The Bay Adelaide Centre in Toronto, Ontario is currently under construction -- but in an effort to alleviate public concern, building honchos posted a sign telling the locals, "Construction set to finish faster than a Kim Kardashian marriage."
We're told the sign was created by legendary comedy group Second City ... and is part of an ongoing series of jokey boards that will be used until the project is complete.
For the record, the construction WON'T be completed fasted than a Kim K marriage -- 'cause her union with Kris Humphries was over in 72 days ... and the project won't end until 2015.
I Can Still Afford Groceries!
4/20/2013 10:48 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kris Humphries might have walked away from his divorce from Kim Kardashian with squat ... but he still had enough green to go grocery shopping near his apartment in NYC this morning.
Kris and the Nets take on the Bulls tonight ... so maybe he'll win something this weekend.
Chose NBA Playoffs
Over Battle with Kim
4/19/2013 12:49 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kris Humphries -- who was once obsessed with proving to the world that Kim Kardashian was a love fraud -- now says he gave up his battle because of his love of BBall.
A rep for Kris tells TMZ, "Kris and his family are excited to move forward and are grateful for all the support they have received in this process."
The rep then sets the priorities straight: "His commitment to the Brooklyn Nets and the team's incredible fans is his number one priority and he is excited to head into the playoffs tomorrow with this situation behind him."
TMZ broke the story ... Kris settled his divorce beef with Kim and walked away with nothing -- he didn't get the annulment he sought and didn't get a penny.
Kim K/Kris H
4/19/2013 9:16 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian is officially a single woman ... because the judge dissolved her marriage to Kris Humphries in today's court hearing ... and we've learned Kris walked away with NOTHING.
Here's what sources connected with the case tell TMZ:
-- Kris gets NO money from Kim. As we've reported ... he had previously demanded $7 mil.
-- Kris dropped his demand for an annulment based on fraud.
-- Each party will pay their own attorney's fees.
This is not just a settlement. It's a WIN for Kim and her lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser.
The judge sent 2 different messages -- on the one hand saying the status of the marriage was dissolved, but then said it's over when they sign the official papers. But it seems like she's officially divorced, especially since the judge said to Kim, "Congratulations on your dissolution."
One final thing. The judge was about to slap Kris with a financial penalty for being a no-show at last week's hearing, but Kim asked the court to drop it, and Kris skated.
Kim K & Kris H
DIVORCE CASE SETTLED!
4/19/2013 7:32 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
9:00 AM PT -- The judge just announced in court what we told you earlier today. The divorce case is settled. The terms have not been disclosed, but the big news for Humphries ... he won't have to pay any penalties for blowing off last week's settlement conference.
TMZ has learned Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian have settled their year-and-a-half long divorce battle, and it looks like it will be announced in court today ... this according to sources directly connected with Kris.
TMZ broke the story Thursday ... Kris had softened his position about demanding an annulment because his case had gone South -- in other words, there was no proof Kim committed fraud when she married him.
Our sources say Kris will not show up in court today. Sources connected with the bballer tell us ... he's with his team today, gearing up for the NBA playoffs. This is significant, because Kris was ordered to court -- a judge wants him there when he gets hit with fines for not showing up last week.
We're told Kim will show up.
As for the settlement, it's confidential so far, but you can bet this was a divorce and NOT an annulment.
To put this in perspective, the divorce battle raged on for 536 days. They were married for 72 days.
'Excited' To See
4/19/2013 12:50 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kris Humphries has made Kim Kardashian's life miserable for the last year-and-a-half -- but Kim is actually excited to see him in court today ... and even says she still loves him.
Kim and Kris will face off in court for the first time since their split on Halloween weekend, 2011. They're in court for a settlement conference ... and as we reported it's possible they could strike an agreement before leaving the building.
Sources very close to Kim tell TMZ ... Kim is actually looking forward to seeing him. She's saying she does indeed still love him as a person, acknowledging, "We just didn't work as a couple."
We're told Kim has actually reached out to Kris numerous times, but he never responded.
Kim is saying they have "unfinished business" and need to talk things out so they can truly move on.
Who knows if it's possible? What we do know is that Kris has softened his position on demanding an annulment ... largely because he sees the handwriting on the wall -- that he's going to lose at trial. If he does, he'll almost certainly get socked with Kim's attorney's fees. The bill on both sides will approach $1 mil if they can't settle.
We'll be in court, so stay tuned.
Kim K/Kris Humphries Divorce
4/18/2013 10:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
4/19/2013 9:16 AM PT -- And now it's official ... Kim and Kris are officially divorced.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries could settle their never-ending divorce case as early as tomorrow ... TMZ has learned.
The fleeting lovebirds are both ordered to appear in court tomorrow for a settlement conference. The big hang-up is that Kris has been fighting for an annulment based on alleged fraud, and Kim has steadfastly refused to go down that road. She wants a clean, simple divorce.
Sources close to Kris say there are various factors that are softening his position, including:
-- There's an ironclad prenup, if the case goes to trial Kris will get NO money from Kim (although as we previously reported Kris has demanded $7 mil from her -- good luck with that).
-- After all the depositions and legal docs flying back and forth, no evidence has surfaced showing Kim defrauded Kris -- and that goes to the heart of his claim.
-- Kris is about to get nailed with monetary sanctions for being a no-show at the last hearing and, in the process, he's pissed off the judge who would be presiding over the divorce trial.
-- If the case goes to trial and Kris loses, he could be in the hole for as much as a million bucks in attorney's fees. Sources tell us each side has already racked up $300k in lawyer's fees, and they'll spend another $200k if the case goes to trial. We broke the story, if the case goes to trial and Kim wins, she'll ask the judge to make Kris pay HER lawyer's fees.
Our sources say it's by no means a done deal that the case is going to settle tomorrow, but as one source put it, "Kris is opening his eyes a little bit, and what he sees doesn't look good."
Wins Big Legal Victory
Against Kris Humphries
4/15/2013 10:47 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian has undeniably had problems with males, but not mails ... because she just blocked Kris Humphries from getting his hands on her personal writings.
Kim's lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser, was in court this AM ... objecting to Kris' demand to see various emails Kim sent on some closed accounts. The hearing was supposed to go down May 2, but Kris' lawyer asked the judge today to hear it today ... the judge said no.
Here's Kris' problem ... The trial is supposed to start on May 6. Even if the judge orders her to turn over the emails when Kris' motion is heard on May 2 ... she'd have 10 days to deliver the goods. By then the divorce case will be over. Translation -- even if Kris wins, he loses.
And that's all she wrote.
Judge Rips Kim's Hubby
New A-Hole For Being No-Show
4/12/2013 12:24 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
If Kris Humphries were listening closely from New York, he could have heard a California judge screaming at his lawyer in court -- because Kris blew off a mandatory court appearance -- and it's worse than we first thought.
As we reported ... the settlement conference was scheduled for 8:30 AM today, but sources connected with Kris told TMZ ... he was stuck in New York. We're told in court today ... Judge Goldberg went nuclear, saying Kris could have caught a flight and that he mocked and disrespected the court.
Judge Goldberg was so pissed ... he set a sanction hearing -- meaning Kris may be hit with fines for being a no-show.
There was obviously no settlement reached today ... We're told both Kim and Kris must appear on the 19th for a pre-trial readiness/settlement conference. Kris better show.
Kim, on the other hand, was in court ... she answered all the judge's questions. Score one for Kardashian.
And if that wasn't enough ... she looked like a (pregnant) rock star when she left the building.
No-Show In Court
In Deep Doo Doo
4/12/2013 9:20 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Unless the Concorde was taken out of mothballs last night, there's no way Kris Humphries is going to appear for a MANDATORY settlement conference with Kim Kardashian today ... TMZ has learned.
Sources connected with Kris tell us ... he was in NYC at 1 AM today, and looked "extremely upset." As we reported, he's supposed to be in an L.A. court today for a settlement conference and his attendance is required.
The first flight out of JFK today is at 6:00 AM ET, arriving at 9:15 AM PT. Here's the problem. The settlement conference is set for 8:30 AM PT. Even if the flight is on time, he'd be at least 2 hours late.
We checked with JFK to see if flights were cancelled because of weather last night -- maybe Kris could use mother nature as his excuse. But the airport was operating, so it looks like he's screwed.
The judge is going to be REALLY pissed off.
Meanwhile, Kim K is punctual as ever ... she just rolled up to the courthouse.
8:58 AM PT -- As we told you, Kris was a no-show at the hearing.
Kim K, Kris Humphries
4/12/2013 6:42 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are scheduled to come face-to-face today for the first time since their split.
The former lovebirds are required to appear at a settlement conference at the downtown L.A. courthouse this AM. The drill is ... try and hash out a resolution to avoid a trial.
But here's the deal ... Mandatory settlement conferences are routine, but this case has as much a chance of settling as Farrah Abraham has getting admitted to a nunnery.
Sources tell us ... Kris is shockingly still demanding $7 mil to go away, even though he says all he wants is an annulment. We're told Kim not only is unwilling to give him a penny ... she's now demanding that he pay her attorney's fees.
This case is destined for trial.
Kim's Witness List
Kris Knew What Was Up
4/9/2013 1:00 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian just filed her divorce witness list ... and it's now clear as can be -- Kim's lawyer is calling a bunch of witnesses who were involved in the prenup to show Kris knew EXACTLY what he was getting into before saying "I do."
As you know, Kris is claiming he was defrauded into marrying Kim ... left in the dark about her true intentions. But now we know 6 witnesses will testify that Kris was actively involved in every detail surrounding the prenup.
In fact, sources connected with the couple tell us ... Kim and Kris were constantly bickering over details in the prenup and that he was as interested in the business of marriage as she was.
Among the witnesses ... 2 managers who were heavily involved in the prenup, at least one lawyer involved in the document and a court reporter who was present when the prenup was signed.
There are other witnesses who will testify about the prenup, including Kim and Kris Jenner.
Short story -- the mission of Kim's lawyer is clear -- Kris went into this eyes wide open.
Excused From First Day
Of Divorce Trial
4/3/2013 3:20 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian is not going to attend the first day of her divorce trial ... but it turns out she's not needed.
Kim has a commitment for an appearance in New York City for her perfume line on May 6, the opening day of her courtroom face-off with Kris Humphries.
Kim's lawyer filed legal docs asking the judge to move the trial up to May 3 so she could attend, but the judge wouldn't allow it because of a schedule conflict.
But sources say the solution is simple. Kris has the burden of proving fraud in his annulment request, so he's first up in calling witnesses, and Kim won't have to take the stand until day 2 or 3.
Bottom line -- she doesn't have to see Kris' face as much as she feared.