Humor

Somewhere Laura Ingraham is still confused as hell about what happened on her own show Monday night -- an exchange with her guest that she unwittingly turned into a classic comedic moment.

So, Ingraham was chatting with Fox News contributor Raymond Arroyo about "woke storylines" in Hollywood productions when he brought up "You" -- the Netflix show, that is -- and an episode that mentioned measles.

But, Laura immediately thought he was talking about her, and it was painfully clear she's not aware "You" is a thing. With a horribly confused look on her face, she said, "When did I mention measles?"

Now, Raymond's confused too, and yells back at Laura, "No! It was on "You!'" -- which only enrages her more. You gotta see it.

Folks of a certain age (and knowledge) will see this as a modern, and accidental, take on Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's classic, "Who's on First?"

Sounds like Ingraham might be binging 3 seasons of "You" this weekend.

Affion Crockett is taking steps to ensure another "Karen" can't step on his stage during a comedy set.

We got the comedian at LAX Monday and asked about the woman who rudely interrupted his stand-up act ... and what he's doing to make sure it never happens again.

Affion is chalking the incident up to booze and the age of social media ... but he says it was still alarming for someone from the crowd to get so close to him, so he's beefing up his security moving forward.

As we reported ... Affion was performing Friday at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, FL when a woman barged on stage and tried ripping his material.

Affion says he tried to get an explanation out of the woman, but says she was too drunk ... and still doesn't know what set her off because he was harmlessly joking about sex.

Taylor Swift appeared on 'SNL' Saturday night, singing a 10-minute version of the song about her breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal ... and wow, the words and the emotions behind it are biting.

Swift performed "All Too Well (Taylor's Version)," a cut from her new, re-released version of 'Red.'

You've heard the song before, but watching Taylor perform it has gotta be pretty blistering for Gyllenhaal ... it's really raw.

Taylor also got in the act during a sketch with Pete Davidson ... a sketch called "Three Sad Virgins." It's a roast of 3 dudes on the show -- Martin, Ben and John ... skewering them for not having game.

The re-mastered version of 'Red' dropped Friday ... and tons of corporations got into the act by changing their Twitter names to support the album ... corporations that include Starbucks, Sour Patch Kids, Olive Garden, Etsy, Panera Bread, Chips Ahoy, Taco Bell and even the Kansas City Chiefs.

As you know, Taylor's re-recorded lots of her own songs from the elusive masters she doesn't own, and it's gone over big.

A comedian's stand-up show came to an abrupt halt after a dissatisfied satisfied appears to have waded her way onto the stage ... just to let him know, she wasn't digging his jokes.

Affion Crockett was performing Friday at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, FL ... when, at some point, a woman joined him onstage -- without being invited -- and interrupted the proceedings. Someone captured part of the interaction ... and it's bizarre.

The lady is understandably getting heckled by the crowd, but AC wants to know what's up and why she's butting into his set like this. Eventually, the woman says something along the lines of her being married ... and how his cracks about sex are offensive.

Affion handles the criticism well -- pointing out he's talking about consenting adults, and describing his own experiences. Then, he takes a poll from the audience ... and hardly anyone else is as insulted as this lady seems to have been. Finally, she's escorted out.

Kim Kardashian knows a thing or two about marriage -- but not necessarily a successful one ... which made her wedding advice at a pal's rehearsal dinner all the more hilarious.

During entertainment executive Simon Huck's pre-nuptial feast Friday night, he and his hubby-to-be, Phil Riportella, invited KK to get on the mic and deliver a few words of encouragement. She took 'em up on it ... but noted she might not be the best one to give guidance here.

Check out her jokes ... Kim talks about her 3 failed marriages, and how she hasn't really figured out this "marriage thing" herself.

She even makes some cracks at her own expense -- as well as some at her ex-husbands ... including Kris Humphries, to whom she was married for just 72 days. That said, Kim offers them tips on the actual ceremony itself ... touching on how to get the best "first kiss" shot.

Kim ends by saying she can recognize true love when she sees it, and thinks Simon and Phil will go the distance. Sure enough, she got a big round of applause.

It's interesting ... even though Kim is smackdab in the middle of her own divorce right now, she's very much in wedding mode -- attending Paris Hilton's ceremony, and now Simon's.

Ya can't be too cautious about COVID-19, even on your birthday ... and Anthony Davis had to remind Russell Westbrook that right before he almost blew all over his cake on Friday ... and the moment is hilarious!!

Brodie celebrated turning the big 3-3 at Lakers practice ... getting surprised with a delicious-looking cake in front of all his teammates right inside the gym.

Russ' teammates decided to have a little fun at his expense on his cake day ... 'cause as he went to go straight into blowing out his candles, he was abruptly stopped by AD.

"Whoa, whoa," Davis said. "COVID, COVID!!"

Russ was so damn excited to get right into the cake, he forgot all about the guys having to be extra safe ... so AD gets MVP for the day.

At first, Russ looked confused as to why everyone was tellin' him to pump the brakes ... but once he realized they were just giving him a hard time, he was able to crack a smile and laugh.

Worth noting -- the whole Lakers roster is fully vaxxed ... but hey, breakthrough cases happen!!

In the end, Westbrook used a much safer "backhand blowout" technique to extinguish his candles ... and the Lakers celebrated the California native.

Conan O'Brien sounds proud of Pete Davidson and Colin Jost for what he says is a long-standing tradition ... "Saturday Night Live" cast members landing smoking hot women!!!

We got Conan, who was a writer on 'SNL' long before he hosted his own late-night show, leaving Sugarfish in Hollywood and our guy asked him what's up with 'SNL' being the ultimate aphrodisiac.

As you know ... Pete recently started dating Kim Kardashian, and Colin is married to Scarlett Johansson ... and don't forget 'SNL' alum Jason Sudeikis and his ex Olivia Wilde as another recent example.

Conan says this is just one of the many perks of a gig on 'SNL' ... harkening back to his days on the show when he dated more famous women than he can count, including Elizabeth Taylor! He's clearly joking, but still ... the track record speaks for itself.

Andy Dick's got a new arrest, and probably an ex-boyfriend ... after cops say he smacked the guy upside the head with a liquor bottle, leaving a deep cut.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... police responded Monday to Andy's home in the L.A. area, where he and his partner got into an argument that escalated, and allegedly got physical.

When cops arrived they saw enough evidence to arrest Andy for felony domestic battery. He was back on the streets about 3 hours later ... once he posted $50,000 bond.

Our sources say this is the 2nd time in 2 months police went to Andy's place for alleged domestic issues -- he was also busted in October when he allegedly weaponized a frying pan! Cops say he hit his BF in the face with it.

The troubled comedian's legal troubles are well documented. He was sentenced to 14 days in jail for a 2019 sexual battery -- squeezing a random woman's butt on the street.

He's had a couple of run-ins with Uber drivers ... one accused Dick of grabbing his crotch in 2018, and that led to a misdemeanor sexual battery charge.

And, in October 2019, there was this bizarre street fight with an Uber Eats delivery driver. Video showed Andy getting his ass handed to him ... as the driver slammed him to the ground.

And, who can forget Andy notoriously threatening to grope and lick one of TMZ's photogs back in November 2017.

Jeff Bezos is being a good sport over Leonardo DiCaprio chatting up his lady right in front of him ... sending Leo a funny but not so subtle message.

The Amazon honcho just responded to the video going viral showing Leo saying something to Lauren Sanchez at the LACMA Art + Film Gala ... sending the Oscar winner a potentially fatal invitation.

Jeff just posted a picture on Twitter showing him standing in the middle of a ton of vegetation, behind a red warning sign that says ... "DANGER! STEEP CLIFF FATAL DROP."

The funny response comes after Leo started trending for whatever he said to Lauren to make her glance so lovingly up at him at the gala ... all while Jeff was standing right there!!!

Saweetie says she wants children in her life -- and one Nick Cannon seems to be ready to deliver ... if she wants to take him up on it.

The rapper tweeted out her parental desires Saturday, writing ... "I want some babies." Short and sweet -- no real other context either, but on its face ... it sounds like she's ready to be a mom.

While there were a number of normies in her comments who offered up their services to get that done -- Nick actually stood out among the rest with a not-so-subtle offer of his own ... retweeting Saweetie's message and adding a few telling emojis.

There's a curious face emoji, a ninja emoji, a laughing emoji, and a guy raising his hand emoji. The hand-raising says it all ... NC seems to be down to provide, and as we know -- is very well-equipped to do so.

The man has fathered several children over the course of his life, including three just earlier this year -- his son, Zen, and twins Zion and Zillion ... the latter 2 having a different mother. He's got four more from previous relationships -- including a couple with Mariah Carey, a couple more with Brittany Bell.

He's talked about going celibate for a while, but seems to have backtracked on that ... indicated here in his volunteering -- not to mention what he told us the last time we got him out. Remember, Nick said he'll keep having kids ... just so long as the man upstairs keeps on allowing it.

No word from Saweetie yet if his proposition sounds appealing or not -- frankly, she probably has a lot of would-be suitors who'd be willing to give it a go ... and could have just about whoever she wanted for this mission.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson weren't afraid to get affectionate -- yes, that -- during her trip to NYC, and it's definitely more than a weeklong fling ... TMZ has learned.

Witnesses at both Zero Bond and Campania tell us the two appeared "very comfortable" with each other, smiling, laughing and displaying plenty of PDA. We're told Pete was charming, even with Kim's friends, throughout the week.  Page 6 reported Wednesday they were super affectionate at Campania.

A source familiar with the couple's date Tuesday at Campania in Staten Island says the two had the rooftop to themselves, and were personally attended to by the restaurant's owner ... who's a friend of Pete's. We're told staffers weren't allowed upstairs, where the two showed lots of affection.

Then there's this ... our sources say prior to the group outing at Zero Bond Wednesday night -- an exclusive club in NYC -- Pete called ahead with his credit card to cut Kim or anyone else at the table off at the pass.

Reports surfaced Friday saying Kim's friends were doubtful she and Pete will last, but we're told that's just not true ... especially given how he fit in Wednesday with some of her closest friends.

As for their 'SNL' encounters, we've confirmed Pete kept it very professional when Kim hosted the show, and didn't make a move until it wrapped.

Steve-O admits it -- to his naked eye, there's no way Pete Davidson should be bagging beautiful women like Kim Kardashian but adds ... it's got nothing to do with eyes or looks.

We got the "Jackass" star Thursday at LAX, and he was happy to weigh in on the new couple that has everyone buzzing after 2 consecutive dates in NYC. Steve started out by taking what, initially, came off like a big shot at Pete ... comparing him to Tom Brady.

He says we can all agree TB is gorgeous, "But Pete Davidson? I don't see it."

Damn, Steve!!!

But, after that brutally honest opinion, he broke down exactly what Kim probably has seen in Pete since their time together on 'SNL' and riding rollercoasters together last weekend.

Steve says, "It's testament to how funny Pete Davidson is. The way to a woman's heart is to be funny."

We'll say this -- Steve-O offered us some strong visual support for his theory by pointing out his own gorgeous GF, who was standing just a few feet away. For the record, she also admits it's about good humor.

Chris Rock's making it clear where he stands in the vaxx/anti-vaxx debate by taking a big swipe at Kyrie Irving ... and he did it in a prime location.

Chris was onstage Wednesday night in Brooklyn along with a bunch of bands and comedians performing at an NFT Week event when he hyped up the crowd by calling out anti-vaxxers. He eased into it with a joke about wearing face masks at concerts, and then simply asked, "Where's my anti-vaxxers at?"

Oddly, the question actually drew some cheers -- NYC requires vaccinations to attend shows like this -- and then Rock hit 'em with ... "You dumb, Kyrie motherf******!!!"

Chris was just a few miles away from Barclays Center, where Kyrie will NOT be playing this season for his Brooklyn Nets -- but his joke still scored laughs from the hometown crowd. Remember, Chris is from Brooklyn ... but he's still a diehard Knicks fan.

Lil Baby, Questlove, Aziz Ansari, and Rich the Kid were some of the other performers -- and after Chris took his shot at Kyrie Irving, he introduced The Strokes.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson very much appear to be an item ... well, maybe something more flingy than that ... the two just met up for the second night in a row.

K&P joined a group of friends for dinner at Zero Bond in NYC. The pair arrived separately, Pete first and then Kim -- dressed in Balenciaga sunglasses and a black dress -- about 10 minutes later. If the two grabbing dinner sounds familiar, it should ... Pete and Kim chowed down at Campania in Staten Island Tuesday night after they were escorted through a back entrance and treated to a very private meal.

This time, things weren't as intimate -- with others breaking bread with them -- but to hang out 3x in less than a week, not to mention cross-country ... well, it's starting to sound like a thing. According to Page Six, who was first to report the story, Pete wore a green plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers to the meetup.

As for why Kim's in town, it wasn't solely to see Pete ... she was honored Monday at Wall Street Journal Magazine's 2021 Innovator Awards for her SKIMS line. Always a savvy businesswoman, Kim wore brown leather with SKIMS during her acceptance speech.

It was only a few days ago when we got Kim, Pete and friends in the OC during a trip to Knott's Berry Farm. The two rode a rollercoaster together, and at one point held hands ... onlookers told us they looked like a "thing."

John Legend and Chrissy Teigen say there's one specific thing about Pete Davidson that could be the key to wooing Kim Kardashian -- his enormous funny bone.

We got John and Chrissy outside her office Wednesday and our photog asked what they make of Pete and Kim going on a secret dinner date in his hometown of Staten Island.

Chrissy, who is one of Kim's friends, says being funny is doing a lot for Pete ... and she says it's a quality that drew her to John.

TMZ broke the story ... Kim and Pete grabbed dinner Tuesday night at his favorite Italian restaurant ... a rendezvous that comes on the heels of them working closely on "Saturday Night Live" and hitting up a SoCal amusement park together.

The way John sees it ... what girl wouldn't want to fall in love with a funny guy?!?

Kim's past could also be working in Pete's favor ... Chrissy says KK needs someone to make her laugh after some intense months with estranged husband Kanye West, and Pete definitely fits the bill.

The 'SNL' star also famously coined the phrase "big d*** energy" ... and Chrissy admits BDE might be at play here.

DaBaby is A-OK to hit live stages again, because he's come a long way since his homophobic rants ... so says one LGBTQ org which is OK with his performing, but NOT Dave Chappelle.

The CEO for Relationship Unleashed, Gwendolyn D. Clemons, tells TMZ ... she and her cohorts at the nonprofit approve of DB's appearance at Rolling Loud NY last week -- and any future concerts -- as they feel he's learned a lot over the past few months.

Clemons says DaBaby met with them as well as 100+ other orgs that advocate for the LGBTQ community -- and insists they got through to him on why his diatribe about AIDS was hurtful and harmful.

RU gave DB a history lesson of sorts and educated the guy ... including how HIV/AIDS affects people in his native Charlotte, NC -- something Clemons thinks resonated with DaBaby, whom she believes did not understand what he was saying.

Clemons says DaBaby was coming from a place of ignorance, but she says now he gets it ...  and that's why Relationship Unleashed can cosign his latest Rolling Loud cameo, and others to come.

As for Mr. Chappelle -- she's not forgiving, telling us the comedian has not shown any empathy or remorse ... adding Dave knows exactly what he's doing. BTW, Dave would agree he knows exactly what he's doing, which is not to apologize because he says he is in no way shape or form transphobic.