SNL

'SNL' took aim at itself Saturday night, poking fun at Pete Davidson and Colin Jost for sinking several hundred thousand dollars into a boat ... and it was hilarious.

It started with Alex Moffat bellying up to the anchor desk, playing his character, "Guy who Just Bought a Boat." Moffat then turned things by intro'ing Pete Davidson as "Guy Who Just Bought a Ferry."

Pete was funny, telling Colin, "We’re boat people now, Colin. I mean, you always were. You look like you own the yacht they rent out for rap videos."

Then, giving a little clue about how this all went down, Colin responded, "It’s very exciting. We thought the whole thing through."

As we reported, Pete and Colin just bought the John F. Kennedy at auction ... it was part of the Staten Island Ferry fleet. They ponied up $280,000 for the vessel, and plan to rehab it ... then turn it into a club that will be docked somewhere in NYC.

Just a couple o' Staten Island guys making good -- Pete Davidson and Colin Jost are now the proud owners of the very ferry they used to ride into Manhattan before they were famous, and they've got big plans for it.

Sources confirmed the 'SNL' stars scored the John F. Kennedy -- formerly part of the Staten Island Ferry fleet -- at an auction. The comedians teamed up with Manhattan real estate broker Paul Italia to get the old ship with a winning bid of $280k.

The JFK, which was built in 1965, might not look like much now ... but the trio plans to turn the space into a big show on the river. They're gonna make it a live entertainment joint with comedy, music and food ... according to the NY Post, which first reported their purchase.

What's really cool about this deal for Staten Island natives Colin and Pete is the JFK is literally their old stomping grounds. Pete rode it when he'd come in for standup gigs in Manhattan ... while Colin ferried on it to attend high school in the city.

Well, chalk this up to, if you don't laugh you'll cry, because 'SNL' slayed with their cold open, where "President Biden" blamed COVID and pretty much every other problem plaguing on America on ... SPIDER-MAN!!!

Pete Davidson -- who's become the star of 'SNL' -- appeared in all his glory as Joe Biden in the real universe, and it's pretty hilarious.

But before that, Biden (played by James Austin Johnson) explained there's a cure for COVID, and it's not the vaccine ... simply put, "Stop seeing 'Spider-Man!'"

Biden's getting grilled like a cheeseburger at a White House news conference, connecting the dots by saying, "Now, think about it. When did ‘Spider-Man’ come out? Dec. 17. When did every single person get Omicron? The week after Dec. 17."

And then there was this advice from the Prez  ... "See anything else.” I saw the first half-hour of ‘House of Gucci.’ That’s more than enough movie for anyone."

As for how you know if you have COVID ... "You want to know if you have Covid? Look at your hand. Is it holding a ticket that says you recently went to see ‘Spider-Man’? If so, you have Covid."

Then Pete appears, baring his tattoo-covered chest and explaining why, in the real world, Biden was not President. It's funny, but treading on dangerous territory.

Pete Davidson has been a walking billboard recently, for a sandwich shop in downtown L.A. ... and while he's getting no coins, he's showing lotsa love to the deli and its owners.

The folks at Uncle Paulie's Deli tell TMZ ... Pete doesn't have a stake in Uncle Paulie's, he's just good pals with Paulie, with something in common ... they're both from New York.

Pete was rockin' an Uncle Paulie's hat this week at the Knicks game.

The deli definitely appreciates the support from Pete ... fact is, he's the most famous walking sandwich board in America, and the publicity is worth a fortune.

The Knicks game wasn't a one-off. Pete recently wore a Paulie's hoodie and hat at Nobu in Malibu ... oh, and he ran into Martha Stewart and they posed for a photo.

It's good/great timing ... the deli's opening 2 new shops in L.A. in the next month ... one on W 3rd St., and another in Studio City.

Kanye West doesn't sound too cool with Pete Davidson dating his estranged wife -- and on the heels of him allegedly punching a fan, he's got a pretty heated message for the 'SNL' star.

Ye takes the jab at Pete on his new track with The Game called "My Life Was Never Eazy"  ... a snippet leaked on the Internet ... and in it, Kanye goes right at Kim Kardashian's new bae.

Kanye raps ... "God saved me from the crash, just so I can beat Pete Davidson's ass."

The leaked clip sounds kinda rough -- it's supposed to drop Friday night at 9 PM PT -- so, it's possible Kanye removes the line from the final edit ... he's known to make last-minute changes. Fans are speculating the single will be featured on "Donda 2" and Game's "Drillmatic" album ... as both rappers posted the clip.

Now, even if Ye cuts the line ... the fact he even recorded it says a lot about his feelings about Kim, and each of them moving on after their marriage.

It's not hard to figure out why Kanye might have beef with Pete. As you know, Kim and Pete have been out and about -- most recently grabbing pizza in L.A. this week -- and seem to be getting much closer.

Of course, Ye's also been very public about his relationship with Julia Fox ... they were out Wednesday night in Hollywood, and even kissed in front of a swarm of paparazzi.

But, as we reported ... a few hours later something or someone put him on edge, and he allegedly punched an autograph seeker outside his hotel in DTLA.

Tributes have been pouring in about Bob Saget, and how he touched so many lives, but few are as poignant as Pete Davidson's .. who says Bob stepped up for him during some pretty dark times.

Pete does not hop on social media -- period, but he made an exception for Bob, whom he called "one of the nicest men on the planet."

Pete wrote, "When I was younger and several times throughout our friendship he helped me get through some rough mental health stuff."

But, it wasn't just a "Hey, how ya doin'" call. Pete says Bob was genuinely concerned and wanted to help ... "He stayed on the phone with my mom for hours trying to help in anyway he can -- connecting us with doctors and new things we can try. He would check in on me and make sure I was okay."

It's one of a slew of tributes to Bob. TMZ broke the story, he died Sunday in an Orlando hotel room at age 65.

Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian are officially a bi-coastal couple -- doing date nights in New York and breakfasts in California ... as evidenced in new photos.

We've obtained pics of Kim and Pete taken Tuesday morning at the Fountain Coffee Room in the Beverly Hills Hotel and looking like they just rolled out of bed. We're told the pics were taken around 7:30 AM PT, so it would seem they're both early risers.

Even more interesting, Pete's in town with Christmas only a few days away. It's unclear what his holiday plans are exactly -- we've been told Kim is going to be with her kids -- but his presence suggests ... maybe he'll stick around for Santa???

Of course, he could fly back to the East Coast in a flash if he wanted, but the fact he dropped in, even if it ends up being brief, just goes to show -- these two are quite serious.

The breakfast outing follows their very public date on Staten Island over the weekend ... where Kim and Pete rented out a private theater all for themselves, but not before being spotted by a ton of other moviegoers, who were snapping pics of them like crazy.

Even when Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson look like they're going to the movies like a normal couple, there's nothing average about it ... not when they're renting out the joint for themselves.

If it wasn't clear before, things are definitely heating up between these 2, and there seems to be a common theme when they're in his neck of the woods -- Pete loves taking Kim to places he's gone his whole life.

Jesse Scarola, who owns Atrium Stadium Cinemas on Staten Island -- site of Kim and Pete's most recent date night -- says the lovebirds rented out a private screen to watch "House of Gucci."

Scarola tells us Pete hits the spot at least once a month with friends ... although, it was a slightly different experience with Kim, as her security team called ahead to make sure it was cool for the couple to enter through a side door.

Despite making a low-key entrance, Scarola says Kim and Pete chatted with staff and fans -- like PD usually does -- and they even took pics with folks. Point is, we're told Kim made an effort to get to know people at her BF's neighborhood theater.

As we reported, Kim, Pete and Scott Disick all hit Atrium Saturday for movie night just hours before 'SNL' started. Unclear if Scott originally planned to watch Pete in action at 30 Rock before the show was scaled back, but he was at least able to tag along for the flick.

As you know, Kim started seeing Pete a couple of months ago. She'd filed for divorce from her Kanye West back in February.

Louis C.K. comedy comeback is in full swing -- and his latest stop is over at "Saturday Night Live" ... which gave him a nice time slot for a new ad plugging his stand-up special.

The controversial comedian appeared across TV screens all over the NY area Saturday while 'SNL' was airing, with a local promo showcasing his latest offering, 'Sorry,' which he just released on his own site. The ad ran at about the 10-minute mark into the broadcast.

The spot runs for 30 seconds, and it features the song "Louie Louie" by The Kingsmen playing in the background ... as clips of LCK dishing his latest joke play throughout.

Unclear where he filmed this, or when -- but it's no secret the guy's been touring all over the country these past several months ... and word is, his live shows have been packed to the gills and selling out like crazy -- even in places like L.A. and NYC.

Like we said, this special isn't airing or being sold anywhere besides his own online presence -- so folks definitely have to go out of their way to buy and watch it -- but still ... people are pretty pissed that he's attempting to resurface at all, let alone with an assist from NBC.

Of course, 'SNL' probably has no say over the placement of the ad -- there's a whole other department handling that -- but the idea NBC was cool with taking Louis' money at all is what seems to be irking the Twitter crowd. And yes, "cancel culture" is again being dissected.

Thanks a lot, COVID ... poor Paul Rudd's feeling "extremely disappointed" his 5th time hosting 'SNL' turned into a patched-together show with almost none of the regular cast, and 2 big guests.

As we reported ... multiple 'SNL' staffers had tested positive, and Lorne Michaels decided to pull the live audience and most of the cast. Tom Hanks and Tina Fey opened the show, explaining most of that, and then did what they were really there to do ... induct Paul into the 5-timers club.

Kenan Thompson brought out Paul's 5-timers robe ... but joked Rudd was really only hosting 4 and a half times.

Most of the show was a best of previous holiday episodes with a few fresh pre-recorded videos from earlier in the week. Tina stuck around to do Weekend Update with Michael Che. She immediately addressed Jost’s absence saying, “It’s not what you think. He’s getting some work done.”

Fey and Che didn't even sit behind the usual update desk ... and instead sat on the main stage, delivering their jokes to Kenan, Tom and Paul.

Che had the night's most timely joke when he did a news item about the judge in Louisiana who was caught on video saying the N-word -- saying it's "the kind of story that makes me wonder, why are me and Kenan the only cast members here?”

As we'd told you ... even musical guest Charli XCX was scratched hours before the broadcast due to the scaled-down production -- but she did appear in one of the pre-recorded bits.

Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian are enjoying a little quality time before cameras start to roll for 'Saturday Night Live' -- going on a date night on his home turf (again) ... with none other than Scott Disick tagging along.

The couple was spotted apparently heading into a movie Saturday at the Atrium Stadium Cinemas on Staten Island -- where Pete was wearing a light-colored jacket and his blonde 'do, while Kim was in black and looking caj. PD also appeared to have a backpack on him.

Like we said, it looks like they may be heading in to watch a film ... but it's hard to tell for sure if they were coming or going. Unclear if Pete's participating in tonight's 'SNL' show.

It appears the Lord was in attendance as well ... although it's hard to say if he was third-wheeling, or if he had an entourage in tow. In any case -- Mr. Disick was in the mood for a flick too, it seems.

Interesting trio, that's for sure. Anyway, as for when Kim got into town ... sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ she touched down Friday. No word on how long she'll stick around.

As we reported ... 'SNL' is supposedly going to be pretty bare-bones tonight, as at least 4 cast members have come down with Covid -- this as cases start to spike again there in NYC. Even the musical guest, Charli XCX, announced she was pulling out at the last minute.

The Omicron variant is all over the Big Apple, and a new spike in cases has got everyone spooked -- including the folks over at 'SNL' ... who will go without a live audience tonight.

"Saturday Night Live" honchos made the announcement Saturday, just hours before showtime ... with Paul Rudd slated to step in as host, and Charli XCX as musical guest. There were rumors they may nix the show entirely, but they met somewhere in the middle.

The official 'SNL' IG page posted a new message, which reads ... "Due to the recent spike in the Omicron variant and out of an abundance of caution, there will be no live audience for tonight's taping of 'Saturday Night Live' and the show will have limited cast and crew."

The statement goes on to say their show continues to follow all government safety protocols, with rigorous testing in place.

The limited cast and crew line is curious in the wake of a report claiming 4 'SNL' members actually caught the 'rona -- which a production source confirms to TMZ. There were also rumblings that 3 others called in sick out of fear, but we're told that's not accurate.

In any case, it's clear they're working without at least a handful of people tonight -- at this point, it's unclear who's out sick ... or if Paul or Charli are expected to show at this point.

PR was featured in a promo they just put up earlier today, so presumably ... he might still be available. Of course, it's a huge deal -- as this is the last show of the year before they go on a little hiatus ... so it'll be interesting to see how they handle the last-minute changes.

We've reached out to a rep for 'SNL' ... so far, no word back.

'SNL' is nothing if not predictable, and they were true to form Saturday night when they skewered 2 recently-unemployed brothers.

Dr. Anthony Fauci -- no, really it was Kate McKinnon -- was offering advice on how to navigate the holidays in the midst of another COVID surge. There was some pretty funny role-playing ... such as a worried passenger wonders out loud to a flight attendant about COVID and whether the mile-high club can get you pregnant.

But then the brothers Cuomo appear, and they introduce themselves this way ... "Hello, I am disgraced Governor Andrew Cuomo. I'm disgraced former CNN anchor Chris Cuomo, and we both lost our jobs because of COVID."

Ted Cruz is hilarious, as he pretends to have the last laugh in his war with Senator Bob Dole, who died last week. Dole famously said no one liked Cruz ... well, watch the rest.

Pete Davidson and his pal Machine Gun Kelly are talking about the potential elephant in the room -- namely how they landed smoke show GFs -- and they're doing it in their undies.

The duo stripped down Monday night during a takeover of Calvin Klein's IG live -- Pete's got a deal with CK -- and the buddies, who are famously dating Kim Kardashian and Megan Fox, brought penis jokes aplenty.

While still fully clothed, PD joked he'd have been willing to kiss MGK on cam or even touch penises if CK upped the budget for their appearance -- and then they decided to flash their tightie whiteys.

After dropping trou, Pete checked out MGK's manhood and remarked, "Nice stuff, by the way, I get it now. Good for you. Good for you, dog." Kelly replied, "I would’ve put an extra 2 socks in there and blew the world’s mind."

Pete was more self-deprecating, saying ... "I’m not really a grower or a shower. It’s actually the same small and hard. It’s actually a scientific wonder."

Of course, the buddies are leaning into what everyone's been buzzing about -- how Pete, in particular, has hooked up with not only Kim, but Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, and Kaia Gerber.

Ariana's famously made very flattering comments re: Pete's manhood ... and last night, MGK said Pete's name is now synonymous with BDE. Pete sheepishly said, "That’s insanely embarrassing, but it’s true."

East Coast comedian and actor Tim Kazurinky was in his early 30s when his life changed forever after his work in Improv swung open the doors to a career as a writer and character on "Saturday Night Live" alongside comic greats like John Belushi, Joe Piscopo and even Eddie Murphy.

Shortly after his ride on the late-night sketch show ... Kazurinsky then landed the role as the nerdy up-and-coming copper Officer Carl Sweetchuck in the iconic funny franchise "Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment," "Police Academy 3: Back in Training" and "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol."

Taylor Swift appeared on 'SNL' Saturday night, singing a 10-minute version of the song about her breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal ... and wow, the words and the emotions behind it are biting.

Swift performed "All Too Well (Taylor's Version)," a cut from her new, re-released version of 'Red.'

You've heard the song before, but watching Taylor perform it has gotta be pretty blistering for Gyllenhaal ... it's really raw.

Taylor also got in the act during a sketch with Pete Davidson ... a sketch called "Three Sad Virgins." It's a roast of 3 dudes on the show -- Martin, Ben and John ... skewering them for not having game.

The re-mastered version of 'Red' dropped Friday ... and tons of corporations got into the act by changing their Twitter names to support the album ... corporations that include Starbucks, Sour Patch Kids, Olive Garden, Etsy, Panera Bread, Chips Ahoy, Taco Bell and even the Kansas City Chiefs.

As you know, Taylor's re-recorded lots of her own songs from the elusive masters she doesn't own, and it's gone over big.