But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It's wrestling legend Jake The Snake!!! Because he's a freaking actor now!!!

Snake (real name Aurelian Smith Jr.) has struggled with drug and alcohol addiction for decades -- but his rep tells TMZ, the 57-year-old has been sober for over 180 days ... and has decided to kick start his life by embarking on a new career ... as a thespian.

The rep says Jake has just started acting classes this week -- and hasn't locked down an agent yet -- but he's already been offered part in an independent film (probably playing some gruff old dude with a mustache).

Once Jake gets into the swing of things, we're told he's also planning to go on tons of auditions very soon ... TV, commercials, movies, you name it.

FYI, Jake and fellow wrestling legend/recovering addict Scott Hall are currently living with former wrestler Diamond Dallas Page, who has converted his Atlanta home into a kind of sober living facility.

Pretty cool.

A paparazzo whose schtick is to work topless is suing the NYPD -- claiming cops had NO RIGHT to arrest her for going boobs-out in public ... because half-naked is LEGAL in NYC.

TMZ has obtained a lawsuit filed by 46-year-old Holly Van Voast -- who regularly prowls the streets of NYC -- sans top -- in search of celebs to photograph and interview.

In the suit, H.V.V. claims ... since 2011, she's been arrested or detained AT LEAST 10 TIMES for being topless in public.

In fact, Holly claims she's even been dragged off to psych wards and lectured by cops in an effort to deter her from flashing her cans where she damn well pleases.

Problem is, Holly claims her topless hobby is legally protected in NYC, and cites a 1992 ruling by the New York appeals court which states it is NOT illegal for women to expose their breasts in a public park.

In her suit, Holly also points to a memo issued by the NYPD in February which states NO ENFORCEMENT ACTION is to be taken against any person -- male or female -- for waist-up exposure.

But there's more ... in the suit, Holly explains the topless gimmick is partially to gain exposure for her friends in the "punk drag" community ... and she even names some of her favorite "punk" drag queens -- Charmin Ultra, Misty Meaner, Mary Jo Cameltoe, Heidi Glum and Cherry Poppins.

Holly is suing for false imprisonment, among other things ... and wants unspecified damages.

We called the cops for comment -- so far, no word back.

This could get bloody ... a design company has sued Eli Roth's Goretorium, saying the Las Vegas haunted house and its business partners have been dragging their feet on a $50K bill ... TMZ has learned.

The "Hostel" director opened the horror attraction in September and hired The Uprising Creative to create all kinds of promotional materials -- logo design, branding, videos, the like ... this according to the lawsuit filed today in Los Angeles.

Uprising says it was paid more than $134,000 over several months ... but the checks stopped coming with $50,853.93 still unpaid. They're alleging breach of contract and fraud ... and want the $50K plus interest and legal fees.

The Goretorium corporation is being sued ... not Roth. So far, no one's returned our calls to the office in LV.

Interesting side note ... in the suit, Uprising says one business partner recently told them to be patient -- because March was the Goretorium's first break-even month since October ... and that if Uprising sued, he would just file for bankruptcy.

Now we'll see if he was bluffing.

“Twilight” star Kristen Stewart’s mom says she has a crazy neighbor on her hands ... a neighbor who is allegedly harassing her and claiming that she's harboring wolves.

Jules Stewart says the beef began April 21, when the neighbor walked up her driveway.  Stewart says she ordered the 61-year-old woman off her property … and according to legal docs the two exchanged heated, vulgar words.

The neighbor, Sue Bemi, allegedly claimed Stewart's dogs were actually WOLVES.  Bemi supposedly screamed her wolves "belong in the mountains of Montana" and should be set free and she was ready to take care of business.

Stewart’s filing says after their blowup, Bemi started a campaign of harassment, regularly making “howling sounds, growls, chirps and other weird noises” ... which riled up the animals.


Bemi claims in her own handwritten legal docs Stewart herself confessed the animals were really wolves.

Stewart, a longtime Hollywood script supervisor who recently directed her first feature film “K-11,” got a restraining order this AM, ordering Bemi to say 100 yards clear of her property for 1 year.

Ashley Tisdale's legitimately freaked out ... after an obsessed fan sent more than 18,000 tweets to the actress and then showed up to her home, TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement tells us ... the LAPD has launched an investigation after a person in Ashley's camp reported that a super-fan had tweeted her 18,888 times, dating back to November, 2012.

The tweets are pretty creepy -- the person (believed to be a man) seems to be delusional, writing as if the two have some sort of ongoing relationship. For example:

"My body is yours & even as friends I f***in love how I make u feel like mom maybe we both got issues cuz nobody's perfect."

"I'll never lose u baby even in 20 years til infinity you'll always b my best friend."

"Let it all out on me u can have my heart put a lock on it throw away the key & my soul is yours to keep."

Even scarier ... we're told the suspected super tweeter recently showed up to Ashley's house ... but we don't know if he ever made contact.

We're told cops have identified a suspect -- and are looking to talk to the person to determine whether he poses a serious risk to Ashley.

Calls to Ashley's reps have not been returned.

A knife-wielding man dressed up as Tony Montana from the 1983 classic "Scarface" taunted police during a real-life standoff in L.A. ... and stayed in character the entire time, TMZ has learned. 

It all went down at an apartment complex in Hollywood around 10pm Tuesday night -- cops were called to the scene to respond to a man wearing a Tony Montana-style white suit (with the big pimped-out collar) who began screaming at people while waving a machete.

When cops arrived, a police negotiator tried to convince the man to surrender peacefully -- but he responded by screaming various quotes from "Scarface" ... while pointing to a DVD copy of the movie he was carrying in his non-machete hand.

Sources at the scene tell us the Tony-alike taunted police by calling them, "f**king cops" ... and threatening to cut them.

After a 6-hour standoff, cops convinced the man to throw his machete down into the apartment swimming pool ... but officers were forced to use tear gas to take the suspect into custody.

Say goodnight to the bad guy.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we please have your attention. We've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story -- THE NEW "ANCHORMAN" MOVIE HAS A MASSIVE BRAWL SCENE ... AND BRICK HAS A TRIDENT!!!

TMZ has just obtained this photo taken on the set of "Anchorman 2" in Georgia yesterday ... and it's pretty self-explanatory. Tonight's top story? The sewers run red with Burgundy blood.

As for Brick -- he should probably find himself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while. Because he's probably wanted for murder.

Nick Lachey says the best part about being divorced from Jessica Simpson is that he no longer has to play grab ass under the table ... WITH PAPA JOE!!

Nick and his brother Drew appeared on Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live" with Andy Cohen last night ... and dropped some truth bombs about the Simpson family.

Among the highlights ... Nick says he hasn't spoken with Jess in YEARS ... and sent jaws crashing to the floor when Andy asked, "What is the best thing about no longer having Joe Simpson as a father-in-law?"

It gets better -- check out TooFab.com for the rest.

Nick and Jessica divorced in 2006. Lachey says he hasn't spoken with Jess in years.

We're guessing he hasn't reached out to Joe either.

Ex-beauty queen Shanna Moakler says her precious boobs are sex objects, and no place for hungry kids to be hanging out. Sooo ... let's talk milk jugs! And breastfeeding.

Check out TMZ on TV -- click here to see your local listings!

Shanna Moakler believes her boobs are for adults only ... not babies ... telling TMZ she views the act of breastfeeding as "incestual" and "gross."

Moakler -- who has three kids -- was leaving a birthday party at the Emerson Theatre in Los Angeles when she explained, "I just look at my breasts as, like, sexual."

She added, "I'm selfish."

Still, the former beauty queen and reality star tells us she supports women who DO want to breastfeed ... but she makes it clear, she's a formula kind of a girl.

George Jones is being honored with sausage ... lots and lots of sausage ... TMZ has learned.

Turns out, Jones wasn't just a country music legend -- he was also a huge fan of breakfast meat -- and even owned a sausage company sold locally through restaurants in Tennessee.

After he passed away, one of the restaurants that serves Jones' sausage decided to honor the singer's memory ... with a humongous meat event in George's honor.

The result? Brooks Shaw's Old Country Store in Jackson, TN whipped up more than 1,000 sausage balls -- George's own creation and favorite breakfast snack. 

The store even put together a batch for his widow Nancy.

The recipe is really quite simple -- mix together Jones' sausage, Bisquick, cheese, and milk ... then cook 'em for about 10 minutes.

Sounds like one tasty, tasty legacy he left behind.