French Montana has added to his menagerie of exotic animals, with a gift that has a tendency to throw feces at you.
We got video of French and his new little friend ... an adorable baby monkey named Julius Caesar.
The monkey was a surprise gift from producer Mally Mall ... who presented the banana enthusiast to Montana on board his private jet.
We're told French has been bottle feeding JC ... and even slept with him last night.
FM is no stranger to wildlife. Earlier this year, he posted a picture of him holding two tiger cubs, with this caption: "Got so high last night bought 2 baby tigers."
I'm On the Hunt
... for a Big Ol' 'C**t'
12/19/2013 6:38 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Ke$ha tells TMZ ... there's one quality a man HAS to possess if he wants a shot at banging her -- he's got to be a "little bit of a c**t."
Ke$ha -- dressed like a 26-year-old Emperor Palpatine -- was rolling through LAX yesterday when our camera guy (a big fan of her reality show) asked why she's not drawn to nice guys.
Her answer was kind of like a Mounds commercial .... sometimes ya feel like a c**t, sometimes ya don't.
'Zombie Vine' Kid
I'm One Step Closer to Terrorizing the World on 'Walking Dead'
12/17/2013 12:10 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
The New Jersey high school kid who turned his disability into a hilarious "Zombie Prank" Vine account says he's one giant step closer to his dream -- starring on "The Walking Dead" -- but he's waiting on one important phone call.
17-year-old Nick Santonastasso -- who was born with only one arm and no legs -- Skyped in to "TMZ Live," telling us there's a petition gaining a LOT of momentum online, begging "Walking Dead" producers to get Nick on the show.
The petition has more than 1,500 signatures ... nonetheless Nick says he hasn't gotten a phone call from showrunners to make it all official. But he's optimistic.
For all his followers, however, Nick's still taking a lot of heat from people who say he's reducing his disability to an object of mockery ... check the clip to hear his thoughts. Pretty profound.
Yeah, I'm Arrogant As Hell
But I'm Doing it For You
12/16/2013 8:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Kanye West is painfully aware Kanye has a gigantic ego, but claims it's not because Kanye is into himself ... it's all for his fans. What a giver.
Ye went on a rant over the weekend in Anaheim, telling fans the media has him all wrong when they say he acts out because he wants to look "doper."
The ever-humble fiance of Kim Kardashian added, he doesn't "give a f**k about looking cool" or being dope ... because he's been dope "since age motherf**king 5."
But you gotta hear his excuse for acting like an arrogant jerk ... because, basically, he's saying it's your fault.
During Pizza Band Concert
12/14/2013 10:52 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Macaulay Culkin's new pizza-inspired band made their concert debut last night in New York ... and the former child actor busted out a sweet kazoo solo during the 8-minute set.
Culkin's band The Pizza Underground -- who play Velvet Underground parodies with pizza-themed song titles and lyrics -- played an 8-minute set Friday night ... and fans waited around the block to get in.
Macaulay's sweet solo went down during the bands song "Take a Bite of the Wild Slice" (3:40 in the video) ... and then the group handed out pizza afterward to make up for the short gig.
It's unclear if Culkin paid for the pizza -- or scared off the delivery guy using audio from an old movie.
DENIED At Nightclub
Strong Arm Tactics FAIL
12/14/2013 12:46 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Bethenny Frankel tried to talk her way into TAO nightclub in NYC early last weekend ... and when her charm failed her, she tried brute force ... and that failed too.
You gotta see the video, but first let us set the stage.
Bethenny showed up at TAO for a private party, but she wasn't on the guest list so the bouncers blocked her. That's when Bethenny got PISSED and tried to strong arm her way in ... first trying to unlatch the rope and then trying to limbo under it.
Our Bethenny sources insist she was invited to the event, but someone screwed up and left her name off the list.
Now, watch the video. It's pretty awesome.
Wynonna Put a Tracking Device on My Car!
12/14/2013 12:45 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Wynonna Judd is being accused of attempting to secretly track her sister Ashley Judd's every move ... by placing a GPS tracking device on her car.
The incident was first reported to police back in November when Wynonna's daughter drove Ashley's car to a mechanic ... and asked them to check for a tracking device -- according to reports.
The GPS device was located ... so they reported it to police -- and an investigation was launched to figure out who put it there.
According to the police report ... when cops contacted Ashley asking if she had any idea who placed the device on her ride -- Ashley pointed the finger at Wynonna.
Detectives tried in vain to reach Wynonna ... so they contacted the P.I. to whom the device was registered -- but they got the cold shoulder.
Wynonna's lawyer eventually called police -- and said the whole thing was a misunderstanding ... the singer was just trying to track her daughter whom she knew had been driving the vehicle.
Wow ... families used to bow their heads and pray ... now they spy on each other.
Howard Stern Contest Winner
Won Date With Prostitutes
Died Minutes Before Getting Laid
12/13/2013 9:15 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
The elderly grandpa who won a date with 2 prostitutes on the Howard Stern Show choked and died last night ... just before he was going to have sex for the first time in years ... TMZ has learned.
We've confirmed 86-year-old Johnny Orris died in a Lake Tahoe hospital last night ... after choking on his steak at a local restaurant.
Orris appeared on the Stern show back in October with his grandson ... who had entered him in a contest called "I Want To Get My Grandpa Laid." Orris said his wife had died more than a decade ago ... and he hadn't had sex since. He said he fantasized about big-breasted black women.
On the show, Orris won a date with two prostitutes from the famed Bunny Ranch in Nevada ... and flew to Lake Tahoe to claim his prize.
Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof tells us Orris came to the ranch last night and chose 2 gorgeous working girls he wanted to have sex with -- Caressa Kisses and Vanity. But before consummating the date ... Orris went out for a nice dinner with his grandson, Ed.
We're told Orris ordered the steak at Sage Room Steakhouse at Harvey's Lake Tahoe ... and began to choke on it. Ed and the maitre d' immediately began CPR ... and Johnny was transported by ambulance to a hospital where he was pronounced dead.
Hof tells us, "He just wanted a steak before having sex with Caressa Kisses and Vanity. The bunnies loved him."
And this is hilarious ... Ed tells us, he felt bad leaving the Ranch without sampling the goods -- especially after traveling so far -- so he banged one of the hookers after his grandpa died. Not Caressa or Vanity, though. That would have been weird.
The best part ... Hof let Ed use his grandpa's coupon for one free roll in the hay.
Bruce Jenner Should
'Get the Breasts Already'
12/13/2013 6:49 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Marlon Wayans believes Bruce Jenner's laryngeal shave is the first step toward becoming a woman -- but he's moving too slow -- telling Bruce, "Just get the breasts" already!!"
We broke the story, Bruce already consulted a plastic surgeon about reducing the size of his adam's apple -- though Bruce insists it's NOT the first step of gender reassignment, it's just because he doesn't like the way his throat looks.
Still, Marlon ain't buyin' Bruce's explanation -- and on his way out a "What the Funny" event he told us, "I think slowly but surely he's been turning himself into a woman all these years."
"Why don't Bruce Jenner just go and get the titties now ... just get the breasts."
In the end, Marlon says if Bruce continues down the surgery path ... "He's gonna look like me in 'White Chicks.'"
Attacked By a Door
12/13/2013 6:29 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Rihanna got smacked HARD by a door in New York last night ... when no one decided to hold it open for her.
RiRi and her bodyguard were leaving a building near the High Line -- when some random woman cut in between them to leave the building, and failed to keep the door open for Rihanna.
The result? Rihanna got smacked ... and then proceeded to yell, "THANK YOU ... BITCH."
Rihanna appeared to be OK. No word on the door's condition.
Falls On His Ass
12/13/2013 6:11 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Seacrest X-Mas Party
Dancing Man Arrested
IN ASSLESS CHAPS
12/12/2013 11:15 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Ryan Seacrest's company X-mas party got REAL cheeky this week in Hollywood -- in fact, some random weirdo was arrested outside on the street ... after dancing all over the place in assless chaps ... and the hilarious scene was all caught on tape.
We have no idea who the mystery man is or why he was there -- but Tuesday night outside Loteria restaurant, this god among men stripped down to assless chaps ... and danced away like there was no tomorrow.
The best part ... he was dancing to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." And he's got some impressive moves too.
Okay, we take that back. The best part is when he gets arrested.
I Lied About My Hoo-Ha
It's Not as Tight As You Thought
12/11/2013 10:56 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Sharon Osbourne is taking full responsibility for misleading her fans about the tightness of her hoo-ha ... admitting she MADE UP the story about getting vaginal rejuvenation.
Osbourne appeared on "Howard Stern" on Sirius/XM this morning and exposed herself -- saying she was simply messing with Graham Norton when she recently told the BBC talk show host she had a surgical procedure to tighten up her lady junk.
"I made it up just to be flippant," Sharon said ... adding, "How could I do that after I've had so much ill health? Now I'm not gonna start putting scaffolding up my vagina?"
And now you know.