Humor

As a diehard Yankee fan -- Michael Rapaport has a message for Red Sox nation before Game 1 of the World Series ... "KISS MY ASS!"

Here's why ...

"Listen, I grew up a Yankee fan hating the Dodgers, hating Rick Monday, hating Steve Garvey and his butt nose. That being said, I can not stand the Boston Red Sox. I want the Dodgers to kick their ass."

"I can't stand Big Papi, Pedro Martinez, Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Rice -- they can all kiss my ass," Mike added.

So, in conclusion ... Rap says he's "rocking with the Dodgers and Magic Johnson 150 percent."

One last shot -- "They should knock down Fenway Park and rebuild it!"

DC Young Fly has nothing but high praise for Method Man and Redman -- and says he was highly disappointed when the OG stars didn't pop up on set of the latest "How High" sequel.

We got DC Monday in the Big Apple, and had to ask him about his new gig ... co-starring with Lil Yachty in "How High 2." For starters ... DC tells us the actual name of the made-for-TV flick. It's pretty damn fitting, honestly.

He also tells us how he's kept high hopes while shooting the movie in Atlanta ... for a potential Meth and Red cameo. No luck ... at least not yet. As we first reported, there's still a chance the duo could make a cameo in a future flick in the franchise.

Louis C.K. whipped out his junk in front of Sarah Silverman, and masturbated in front of her -- but she was totally cool with it ... most of the time.

Yeah, we just said that. Sarah made the pretty startling reveal Monday on the 'Howard Stern Show' ... telling Howard about her early days in comedy with Louis. She says he asked if he could masturbate, and she told him, "F**k yeah, I want to see that!"

Sarah said there were times she told him no, and he would comply. She added they'd also go streaking together while "letting our freak flags fly."

She made a very important distinction, though, between herself and the women who accused him of sexual misconduct. Sarah says she and Louis were peers, on the same level as they were getting their starts -- unlike his accusers, over whom he had power in the biz.

We got Louis a couple weeks ago in NYC, and he's definitely in better spirits these days.

George Lopez and Donald Trump may finally see eye-to-eye on something after a scuffle GL was involved in last weekend at a Hooters ... according to George himself.

We got the comedian Sunday at LAX, where we asked about his run-in with a fan who claims George grabbed his neck in a video of the altercation obtained by TMZ. In our clip ... you can see what appears to be George getting handsy with the dude.

George stays tight-lipped on the whole thing -- not wanting to reveal who he thinks was at fault -- but, he does drop one interesting nugget on us ... Trump probably would've been down for the way George handled it -- ya know, 'cause of that whole body slamming thing.

In case you forgot ... Trump praised Congressman Greg Gianforte for putting a reporter on his back last year, saying anyone who could do a full body slam was "my kind of guy."

If the Yankees can't win, Giancarlo Stanton doesn't want ANYONE to win -- joking with TMZ Sports that when it comes to the World Series he's "rooting for a draw."

Obviously, he was just kidding -- and told us the most important thing is for the World Series to be competitive.

Now that the Yanks are out of the playoffs, Stanton has returned to Hollywood where he spent his Wednesday night hanging at Warwick nightclub.

Stanton did everything right on his way out of the club -- taking pics with fans and signing photos.

And the best part ... after the club, he got into a waiting ride where a sober driver took him home.

Tommy Chong is blowing smoke in the face of President Trump's supporters and laughing all the way north of the border ... 'cause Canada just legalized recreational pot!

Tommy tells TMZ ... the United States and the rest of the world needs to get with the program and follow the Canadian trailblazers ... because getting blazed is just way too beneficial to be illegal.

It's funny ... the pothead poster boy says he was supposed to celebrate legalization Wednesday in Canada, but he lost his passport. Typical stoner move.

Don't worry, nothing can stop Tommy from taking his first legal toke in his native country ... he's about to embark on a ganja gallop through Canada.

Tommy says he's been anticipating legalization for years ... and he's already looking into ways to make some green off legal green.

Spoiler alert ... Roseanne Barr's character on "The Conners" was killed off by an opioid overdose.

The series premiere of the 'Roseanne' spin-off jumped right into Barr's death ... with writers wrapping up her storyline a mere 5 minutes into the show.

Turns out ... Roseanne had it right last month when she revealed her opioid OD in a gigantic spoiler.

Getting killed off the show was a foregone conclusion. You'll remember ... Barr got the ax from the "Roseanne" reboot only hours after she posted a tweet comparing former Obama aide Valerie Jarrett to the "muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes."

Roseanne is gone from the spin-off, but she's still keeping busy ... appearing on podcasts and hosting her own talk show.

10/17 -- Roseanne responded to her TV death on Twitter Tuesday night after the show, "I AIN'T DEAD, BITCHES!!!!"

Originally published -- 10/16 5:19 PM PT

Pete Davidson is doing everything in his power to keep a low profile after the collapse of his relationship with Ariana Grande.

Davidson was set to headline Wednesday at Temple University's event, "Comedy Night Live." In a statement for the event, we're told Davidson pulled out last minute due to "personal reasons."

TMZ broke the story ... Pete and Ariana ended their engagement and called it quits on their relationship over the weekend. Ariana has already returned her $100k engagement ring to Davidson and Ariana will keep the couple's teacup pig, Piggy Smallz.

We all know Jerry Seinfeld takes his love for cars quite seriously -- and, apparently, he feels the same way about luxury scooters too. Can ya tell?

The comic was in NYC Tuesday getting ready to take a ride on a spiffy looking Lambretta -- the Italian-scooter that rivals Vespa, kinda like Ford vs. GM. Jerry must've been on one hell of a mission, 'cause he looked super serious -- the scarf and helmet look is working for him.

Normally, Jerry likes to go 4 wheels ... especially for his hit show, "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee." As far as we can tell, he hasn't taken a fellow comedian out for a scooter ride. It'd spark a great convo though.

Jerry famously owns more than 100 vintage and exotic cars -- mostly Porsches. Nothing wrong with diversifying your portfolio.

Even millionaire football players get their chops busted by their GFs ... 'cause Olivia Culpo just clowned all over Danny Amendola -- and the clip's hilarious.

The two were wandering the streets of Miami runnin' some errands ... when Olivia spotted Danny's mug on the back of a truck -- and whipped the camera out.

"Oh my god! Look who it is! It's you! It's you!!!" she said.

Then Miss Universe 2012 turned off the chill even further ... attacking the fresh toilet paper Danny just bought for his crib.

"Here he is in the flesh! And he buys toilet paper!!"

Olivia added: "Stars, they're just like us!!"

Donald Trump came to a startling revelation last night ... Kanye West is the black him!!!

Alec Baldwin made his return to 'SNL' to parody Ye's Oval chit chat. This one is especially interesting, because they danced around making fun of mental illness.

Also interesting ... most times 'SNL' takes a real event and makes it broader, but this one was pretty much true to form ... with all the hits, runs and errors from Thursday's pre-lunch meeting. The reporters in the crowd were definitely funnier than the real deal ... for sure.

Who is this 6th grader and what has he done with Kevin Love?!

That clean-shaven dude you're lookin' at is actually the Cleveland Cavaliers superstar (seriously, we promise it's him) ... and he showed off a VERY youthful look on Friday.

Before you freak, it's only temporary -- Love says he was shooting a commercial with teammate Channing Frye and he had to lose his signature facial hair for the role.

Love has rocked some sort of facial hair throughout his NBA career ... and says it's been about 6 or 7 years since he's taken a razor to his face.

Naturally, the All-Star was a bit rusty -- he says he nicked his face TWICE shedding the scruff.

They might be on different teams -- 2,300 miles away -- but J.R. Smith and LeBron James are still giving each other crap ... and it's pretty funny.

Smith was walking around East Lansing, Michigan (the Cavs play the Pistons on Friday) when he started joking about how LeBron is following him everywhere.

"I can't go nowhere and get away from this motherf**ker," Smith said while pointing the camera at a Blaze Pizza sign.

FYI, James is an investor, franchisee and paid endorser of the pizza company.

Smith continued to joke ... "Look at this sh*t. Look at this n****. He everywhere. He just keep following me!"

Of course, Smith and James had the awkward moments when J.R. brain farted, and screwed the Cavs at the end of Game 1 of the NBA Finals last year ... but it's clear the two are still friends.

One more thing ... J.R. was spotted by some fans with cell phones and he DIDN'T steal them and throw them into a construction site!

Ringo Starr found a silver lining in NOT being one of the OG Beatles when we asked him about Paul McCartney and John Lennon's hands-on bonding sessions.

We got the drumming legend at LAX and brought up Paul's recurring dreams about John and George Harrison -- which he revealed in a recent interview. Ringo's not bothered by it, and laughingly told us why he's constantly on Paul's mind.

Then we gently waded into Beatles' masturbation history. You'll recall Paul didn't mention Ringo in the bizarre tale of group self-pleasure.

Just watch, because the reaction from Ringo and his wife, Barbara Bach, is hilarious.

Robert De Niro got back into his political comedy shtick again this weekend, making a sorry joke about Brett Kavanaugh hours after he was confirmed to the Supreme Court.

De Niro was receiving the Brass Ring Award Saturday evening at the Children's Diabetes Foundation's Carousel of Hope event in L.A., when, for whatever reason, he decided to wade into politics with a quip about the newly appointed Justice Kavanaugh. It mostly landed flat.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he goes ... "Now, one reminder. The drinks, wine and beer are flowing. But, be careful -- if you have too much, you may end up on the Supreme Court."

Besides the fact that he butchered the delivery of the line -- stumbling over his words -- it's clear he chose the wrong topic to bring up at a ceremony for the Children's Diabetes Foundation. The reactions to his joke were mixed, some nervously laughing ... others booing.

It's definitely not the first time De Niro has used his platform in such a public setting to bash the Trump administration. He got bleeped saying "F*** Trump" at the Tony Awards earlier this year, and seems to take every opportunity he can to slam the President.

President Trump's got a serious White House conspiracy on his hands -- or, we should say his heel ... because someone let him out in public with freakin' toilet paper stuck to his shoe!

Ok, you can insert your own metaphor here -- but this s**t really happened Thursday night as the leader of the free world boarded Air Force One ... bound for his rally in Minnesota.

Sure, it's hysterical to watch ... over and over and over.