Reality TV

Screw Obamacare or the murderers that broke out of prison in Florida, ABC News just sent out an email blast to the media with the most important news of the day -- IT'S KIM KARDASHIAN'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Seriously, ABC News just fired off a news release with the subject line, "Kim Kardashian Turns 33."

Wait, before we go any further .... ABC included a note at the top of the email warning, "News organizations using excerpts of this reporting should credit/link to ABC News."

But ABC didn't launch the press release JUST to tell us information widely available on the interweb -- they also made sure we knew, "In honor of the reality star’s 33rd birthday, we are dedicating our entertainment section to all things Kim Kardashian."

The email concludes, "Don’t forget to wish her a happy birthday!"

Oh, we won't!!!

Keep up the good work ABC News -- delivering the news the people NEED to know.

Now, excuse us ... we have an exclusive Kevin Federline story to write.

Kylie and Kendall Jenner rolled into Vignette Lounge like V.I.P.s -- hanging with the club promoter ... which punches a big hole in claims the staff was clueless about who they were when they arrived.

TMZ obtained pics of Darren Dzienciol hanging with Scott Disick and K&K at a fashion show earlierTuesday night. Darren works with Bartelier Group which promotes parties all over L.A. -- including the 21-and-over Wax Rabbit event at Vignette that very night.

As we reported, Vignette's manager claims the underage Jenner girls showed fake IDs when they entered the club Tuesday night ... and that bouncers didn't recognize they were Kardashians.

Darren was also one of the guys ushering Kylie and Kendall out of the club underneath blankets -- most likely to hide their identities ... and possibly because they were tipsy.

So, even if the club's staff didn't know the girls were minors -- which seems extremely unlikely -- the club's head promoter that night certainly did.

Khloe Kardashian has been heroic in trying to save Lamar Odom, but there's a cold, hard fact ... there's a financial reason why she shouldn't divorce him just yet ... because she's set to inherit millions if something terrible happens.

Numerous Kardashian family sources tell us ... Lamar has a will which leaves the lion's share of his assets to Khloe. Lamar has made more than $100 million dollars over his13-year career, and unlike other players, we're told he hasn't blown through it.

We're also told he has a life insurance policy that makes Khloe the primary beneficiary.

As we have previously reported, Khloe is ready to file for divorce but hasn't done so because she fears it would push Lamar over the edge.

So we started digging, to find out what triggered the explosion of anger. It seems Colin and the mom were bent out of shape because they were left in the dark about her possible pregnancy. They learned of it after reports surfaced yesterday.

Family sources tell us ... Kendra's mom called her daughter and apparently the conversation didn't go well, because it ended with a death wish.

Colin then stuck up for his mother and went nuts on Kendra.

If rap sheets were like IMDb ... the son of an alum on "Real Housewives of Orange County" would be the hottest thing in Hollywood ... because he's just added another credit -- charged with felony grand theft auto.

Josh Waring -- the son of Lauri Waring -- is no stranger to crime. He's been busted at least 5 times. As for the most recent ... we found out he was popped on Oct. 10 for allegedly stealing a 2005 Cadillac. He was charged today. He's also charged with possession of an opium pipe and needles. And he's charged with attempting to destroy evidence -- the needles.

Josh's wife was also arrested for possession of a billy club -- it's illegal in California.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner NEVER flashed phony IDs at the doorman for the 21-and-over club they partied at Tuesday night ... so claim Jenner family sources.

This squarely contradicts the manager of Vignette lounge, who says the girls -- ages 16 and 17 -- ABSOLUTELY presented fake IDs at the door.

The Jenner sources say the doorman recognized the 2 girls ... he knew exactly who they were ... and let them in without asking anything about proof of age.

The sources were also mum on the photo of Kendall and Kylie -- looking wasted as they sat in the back seat of their SUV as they left the club just before 2 AM.

So we gotta ask ...

Kim Kardashian's gargantuan ass is back in working order ... and last night, she let the world know ... with a backside selfie on Instagram

It's the first butt-selfie Kim's taken since giving birth to Kanye West's baby North back in June.

Kim's been on a serious sexuality kick lately -- on the most recent episode of her reality show, she talked about wanting to pose NAKED asap ... saying, "As soon as I get in shape, the first thing I want to do is Playboy or some nude shoot. I just wanna walk down the street fully naked."

Looks ready to us.

If Scott Disick was the responsible adult last night when he took 16-year-old Kylie and 17-year-old Kendall Jenner to a 21-and-over nightclub, Kris oughta be plenty worried, because he was off the hinges earlier in the night.

Scott was at a Style Fashion Week L.A. event earlier in the evening with Kylie and Kendall. He was drinking and acting belligerent ... to the point where one of the models (Caroline D'Amore) flipped him off.

At the end of the show (for the line Day By Day), Scott grabbed the designer, Cedric Benaroch, and almost pulled him off the runway.

Scott then started freestyle rapping for Lil Twist and a random guy, ending with, "I drive f**king Bentleys!"

11:12 AM PT -- TMZ spoke to a manager of the club who insists the bouncers checked IDs at the door … and both girls presented IDs showing them to be 21+.

He tells us … they do NOT know the Jenner girls and did not recognize them as being part of the Kardashian clan.

He also says … club management is very aware that underage celebrities try to drink illegally … so they’re very particular about checking IDs … especially when photographers are outside shooting everyone who goes in.

We’ve contacted the Jenners’ rep … and haven’t heard back.

16-year-old Kylie Jenner and 17-year-old Kendall Jenner went out on the town last night ... partying at Vignette lounge in West Hollywood -- a 21-and-over club, and it appears the club and the girls broke the law.

The club features Wax Rabbit every Tuesday night, featuring what the club calls "a new, voyeuristic, hip hop and nudity nightclub experience."

So the burning question -- how did Kylie and Kendall legally get in the club. We did some digging, and found the ONLY exception to the 21 and over law is if the underage person is employed as a musician, but the musician must be 18 minimum. Neither girl is 18.

An official for the Dept. of Alcoholic Beverage Control tells TMZ ... both the girls and the club appear to have broken the law and could have been cited had they been caught in the act. The official tells TMZ his Dept. may launch an investigation.

And it gets worse ... Even if the girls were 18 and there as musicians, they wouldn't be allowed in if there was any nudity, and the club often features topless dancers on Wax Rabbit night.

BTW ... on their way out, the girls were shielded by blankets.

At the end of the night, Kylie and Kendall looked ... tired.

If New Jersey had a baseball team, it should be called "THE LOSERS," this according to Snooki ... talk about biting the hand that fed ya.

It's pretty shocking, considering the MTV star spent several years in NJ ... where she lived, boozed and shot her reality show.

But right after she made the comment on the way out of Boa Steakhouse in L.A., the backtracking began ...

Snooks insisted the comment was NOT made to be a shot at Jersey on the whole, but more of a shot at HERSELF and the "Jersey Shore" cast, because "we were all turds back then."

"MasterChef" star Josh Marks was diagnosed with schizophrenia 24 hours before committing suicide ... so says his mother, who claims the thought of dealing with more mental issues put him over the edge.

Marks' mom Paulette Mitchell is saying the reality star completed an out-patient treatment program Thursday -- where he was diagnosed with schizophrenia ... according to a family rep.

Mitchell first told the Chicago Tribune the chef had finally come to terms with his bipolar disorder ... but "couldn't bear the thought of another diagnosis."

Paulette claims Marks was upset about the doctors assessment ... so she spent the night with him and left the next afternoon to pick her daughter up from school.

A few hours later ... she received a phone call from a family member saying people had called saying Josh was walking through a nearby alley clutching a gun.

Mitchell says she rushed over to the alleyway to find him -- but instead discovered her son dead from a gunshot wound ... with a revolver at his side.

His mother also admits ... some of the Marks' delusions centered around Gordon Ramsay, and that's why he told cops back in July that the chef had possessed his body when he got arrested.

Former "Real Housewives of OC" star Lynne Curtin is broke ... broke ass broke ... claiming she only has $100 to her name, this according to legal docs obtained by TMZ.

Curtin just filed new court papers in her divorce from Frank Curtin -- and it seems like she's making a serious play for spousal support, 'cause she claims to have virtually no money left.

According to the docs, Curtin says she only has $100 in total assets. She also claims she only earns $250 dollars a month -- or $3,000 a year -- as the owner of her own jewelry business.

Just for comparison, the poverty level for a single person in the U.S. is $11,490 a year.

As for her expenses, Curtin claims she lives a pretty meager life these days, dropping only $515 per month. Here's how the monthly spending breaks down:

$150 - eating out
$115 - telephone and email
$ 50 - laundry
$100 - clothes
$100 - entertainment

We broke the story, Curtin -- who appeared in seasons 4 & 5 of the show -- filed for divorce from her husband Frank back in December.

In her court papers, Lynne says she had to get a loan just to pay her lawyer. Also ...there's the little matter of $30,000 in unpaid taxes from 2009 ... she says that's Frank's problem, too.

Sources close to Storm say the wrestler is travelling to L.A. next week to develop a reality series focusing on a bar he wants to open near Nashville.

Cowboy has meetings lined up with different network execs and production companies while in town -- and he's hoping to lock down a deal before heading back home.

We're told the show would feature appearances from Storm's famous friends ... and showcase the crazy shenanigans he and his redneck friends would get into at the bar.

Don't worry wrestling fans, Storm isn't leaving TNA ... our sources say he's just looking to "expand his brand."

It's no clothes-tearing cat fight ... but it was still pretty nasty ... and now, former "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Kim Zolciak has prevailed -- beating the crap out of Kandi Burruss in Kandi's own lawsuit.

As we reported, Burruss -- repped by fellow RHOA star Phaedra Parks -- sued Zolciak over their 2009 song "Tardy for the Party," claiming Kim swindled her out of a huge chunk of the song's profits (... though we can't imagine they amounted to much).

Zolciak responded with her own legal docs, accusing Kandi of using the lawsuit as a publicity stunt to promote her now-canceled show "The Kandi Factory." (Clearly it worked.)

But NOW THE WAR IS OVER ... a judge has officially ruled in Kim's favor (pretty much on a technicality involving federal court jurisdiction and blah blah whatever).

But who cares. Because now no one has to hear the phrase "Tardy for the Party" ever again.

Okay one last time.

The Jenners are one big, happy separated family -- and Kris Jenner went out of her way to prove it by taking family pics at home Thursday night.

Bruce Jenner, along with his sons Brandon and Brody, grinned and posed for a pic with Kris -- which she promptly posted on Instagram with the caption, "Another amazing night."

Momager Kris made no bones about it ... the warm and fuzzy moment was engineered as a response to TMZ.

She concluded her Instagram post with a hashtag that read, "SorryTMZ got it wrong AGAIN."

Sorry Kris, you know we got it right.

As we reported, sources connected to the family say Brody and Brandon have been reconnecting with their father since he separated from Kris and moved to Malibu. We're also told the boys partially blamed Kris for the fact Bruce neglected them for most of the last 20 years.

In fact, things were so bad, Bruce often would not even call the boys on their birthdays.

Kris' IG caption continued, "Too fun I love you guys!!! Best hearts."

Brody also posted a pic. Eat your heart out Norman Rockwell.

It took four years .... but "Jackass" star Chris Pontius -- aka Party Boy -- is finally free to throw on his g-string and grind on whoever he wants (guilt-free) 'cause a judge just finalized his divorce, TMZ has learned.

We broke the story ... Chris was hit with divorce papers in 2011, two years after he had separated from his wife Claire Nolan. The two had married back in 2004.

Math Fact -- they had been separated almost as long as they had been married.

As far as assets go, the couple had two homes -- one in the Hollywood Hills (he got that) and one in Ireland (she got that) ... this, according to the judgment, filed in L.A. County Superior Court and obtained by TMZ.

As far as the other stuff goes ...

Chris got ... his 2012 Toyota FJ Cruiser, his royalties from "Jackass" and "Wildboyz," everything in their American investment accounts, and an unknown amount of credit card debt.

Claire got ... a vintage 1965 International Scout (see below), her engagement ring, a check from Chris for $200,000 dollars and whatever's left in their Irish bank account.

We reached out to Pontius for comment -- so far, no word back.