Humor

Someone's gotta be in Jeff Bezos' doghouse right now with Amazon's huge Prime Day sale crashing the retail giant's website, and the only people who might be celebrating are dog lovers.

The annual event was doomed right off the bat -- as soon as it started at noon Pacific Time, users attempting to find big bargains, were instead met with error messages due to the site crash. Gotta hand it to Amazon though, because they programmed the error messages to include pics of cute pooches.

Nothing soothes the soul like man's best friend.

Shaquille O'Neal got an ENTIRE nightclub to chant "Barkley Sucks" during a DJ gig in D.C. -- and the trolling didn't stop there!

Shaq was performing at Echostage as DJ Diesel -- when he decided to clown his "Inside the NBA" co-host with a giant projection on the back wall that read, "Barkley Has NO Ring!"

Shaq clapped along gleefully as the place went crazy!

Of course, Shaq and Chuck are really tight in real life -- so, it's all in good fun.

Now, it's on Barkley to get even ...

Of course, it's not the first time Shaq went off on an NBA star in a nightclub -- back in the day, he freestyled the infamous "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes" verse during his rift with his Lakers teammate.

Both Shaq and Kobe have said they've made up and they're on good terms now.

Nicole Richie should go and buy herself a lottery ticket or hit the poker table because she's dripping in good luck after being dumped on by a bird on her Italian vacation.

Richie displayed the remnants of a bird that dropped a giant deuce on her head while she was on a balcony.

The bird had excellent aim, getting its #2 all over the left side of her head, and Richie took it like a champ as hubby Joel Madden documented the whole thing.

Joel says it's good luck, coming from an old saying ... the more birds involved, the richer you'll be! So, next time a bird poops on you, remember that it's a good thing.

Hey fellas, wanna make Tinashe laugh? Well, all you gotta do is remind her that 6'10" NBA star Ben Simmons is so scared of her that he's hiring extra security, because she thinks that's REALLY funny.

We broke the story ... sources close to Ben say he believes Tinashe is despondent about their breakup, and popping up at Hollywood nightspots he hits with new GF Kendall Jenner.

Tinashe was out at Delilah Thursday night (Ben was not inside ... that we know of) when we asked her what she thinks about his concerns and, with the laughs he got, our guy might as well have been Dave Chappelle.

Sarah Palin is totally wrong about what happened when Sacha Baron Cohen interviewed her -- at least according to Dr. Billy Wayne Ruddick ... the character Sacha was playing at the time.

Cohen just released a letter addressed to "Vice-President Palin" ... so, right off the bat y'know it's gonna be funny. Sacha, aka Dr. Ruddick, says he's the one who interviewed her, and adds ... "I was in the service -- not military, but United Parcel ... and I only fought for my country once -- when I shot a Mexican who came onto my property."

You'll recall, Palin blasted Cohen for pulling a prank on her that will, apparently, air on his new Showtime series, "Who Is America?" ... which premieres this weekend. She said she was especially incensed that he had posed as a disabled military vet.

Look, fact is Sarah inadvertently gave his show huge promotion, and now he's following through with this in-character rebuttal.

Will Smith just one-upped literally EVERYBODY who's been partaking in the Drake-inspired viral dance challenge taking the web by storm ... by nailing it on top of a bridge.

The 'Fresh Prince' posted a video Thursday of his own #InMyFeelingsChallenge -- also dubbed The Shiggy after comedian Shoker, who started the challenge -- based on the song of the same name from Drizzy's new "Scorpion" album. But instead of hitting the streets, Will danced on top of Budapest's Széchenyi Chain Bridge. Needless to say, it was epic.

Big Willie notes that what he's doing is probably illegal, but considering the wide shots he gets from what appears to be a drone camera ... we'd say the bridge-climbing was worth it.

George Lopez gave Donald Trump's Hollywood star his version of the No. 1 treatment ... unleashing a massive fake pee stream all over it.

The comedian -- who has made no bones about his beef with the Prez -- was in Hollywood Tuesday and coincidentally found himself right in front of Trump's star on the Walk of Fame. After chatting up fans, George decided to unload his water bottle a la fake pee on Trump's marker.

Check it out ... everyone seemed to enjoy the spectacle, and GLo was pretty relieved too. (Pun intended).

Chrissy Teigen didn't plan for this, but she's now doubled up on her breastfeeding duties to appease her oldest child ... but it's not what you think.

Chrissy just shared a hilarious photo of herself breastfeeding her baby son, Miles ... but surprisingly, there's another baby in the mix too.

She says, "Luna making me feed her babydoll so I guess I have twins now."

Wonder how long she's going to have to keep this up ...

Arsenio Hall says that if there were a comedy college, he and Roseanne Barr would've graduated from the same class, but he's sure got a funny way of dealing with her recent racist tweet.

We got Arsenio at the Laugh Factory in WeHo Thursday before his stand-up act at the Wear Your Voice Magazine fundraiser and asked him whether or not it was time to give Roseanne another shot.

The two have known each other for years ... they both had their own TV shows in the late '80s/early '90s and, by the sound of it, they've also spoken since the fallout from her racist tweet.

A minor league baseball pitcher had the ultimate feather in his cap on Wednesday -- when he caught a bird with his glove ... and wore it on his head!!!

The bird collector is Jesus Cruz -- who plays for the St. Louis Cardinals' minor league affiliate, Peoria Chiefs.

Cruz was exiting the mound after pitching 4.2 innings -- when a little bird flew in his path.

The 23-year-old righty snatched the animal on his way to the dugout ... and when it fell to the ground, he scooped it up into his glove and appeared to say a prayer for his new feathery friend.

It worked ... the bird sprung to life -- so Cruz promptly placed it on top of his head!!

Don't worry ... the bird looked all good after the incident (hopefully, he's okay!).

Master P thinks a couple of young guys who are huge online will be mainstream stars in no time ... and his upcoming movie's going to be the catalyst.

We broke the story in December -- P was planning to cast some raw and unknown talent for the sequel to his 1998 movie, "I Got the Hook-Up," and he tells us he's stayed true to his word ... by signing social media stars Fatboy and Piola.

P says Hollywood's failed to recognize the power of social media and its big personalities, and believes by casting Fatboy and Piola -- who have nearly 7 million followers on Instagram combined -- he's connecting with an untapped audience.

To put it bluntly, Master P tells us ... "What we're doing with 'I Got the Hook-Up 2' is genius."

He's got high hopes for his new actors too ... telling us they're dynamic, natural talents with amazing chemistry because they're both great friends. P says he's going to add them to the mix with established actors in his sequel and let the sparks fly ... and has no doubt it will work.

Rob Gronkowski is giving Tom Brady 2 giant thumbs up -- in the air, that is -- for coming clean about his penchant for ass eating, sayin' ... ya can't really blame the guy.

We saw Gronk at LAX and had to ask him about his QB seemingly admitting to eatin' the booty ... and he wasn't the least bit surprised, because, "He's wild. He's a wild man."

Gronk was fighting like hell to contain his laughter about Tom's response to Barstool Sports' #AssEatinSZN post -- but made sure we knew, "It's great, he likes to eat ass."

Translation: No shame in the booty game!

But Rob's favorite part of this whole sitch has to do with WHEN Tom chows down. Clearly referring to Gisele getting out of the shower (Barstool's words, not ours) ... Gronk said, "I'm glad he likes it fresh."

He also has an opinion on whether Tom will catch crap ... in the locker room, that is.

Tom Brady!!!!!

Here's the deal ... Barstool Sports posted a pic on Instagram showing a hippo chewin' on another hippo's butt and included the caption, "As soon as bae gets out of the shower #AssEatinSZN."

Nothing out of the ordinary there ... until we looked at the comments and noticed Tom Brady weighing in -- with some laughing face emojis and the word, "Yep."

GISELE!!!!!!

For the uninitiated, Ass Eatin' Season is a thing on Barstool. And, by the way, they even tweeted about it already, saying ... "Tom Brady is about that life #AssEatinSZN."

Last we saw Tom and Gisele, they were at a U2 concert together in Boston and Tom was belting out the lyrics at the top of his lungs.

McDonald's is revamping breakfast by ripping off a famous "Seinfeld" episode -- and the guy who wrote it says he deserves a piece of the pie ... er, muffin.

Spike Feresten wrote "The Muffin Tops" for season 8, and Wednesday -- the same day Mickey D's announced it's selling the best part of a muffin -- he told us he's got no beef with the golden arches. Well, as long as the check's in the mail ... as they say.

Seriously, though ... Spike hasn't gotten a dime, and says it just seems right for McDonald's to cough up some dough -- for him AND Jerry Seinfeld -- since it's clearly jacking their ingenious breakfast invention.

Move over, Cardi B and Offset ... keeping your marriage under wraps for 9 months is amateur hour compared to what Daniel Tosh pulled off more than 2 years ago!

Sources close to the situation tell TMZ ... the "Tosh.0" star and Carly Hallam tied the knot on April 15, 2016 at an incredibly private ceremony in Malibu.

31-year-old Carly is a writer on Tosh's show. It's unclear if that's where the couple first met, but it would make sense since Carly started working there back in 2010. She also writes for "Brooklyn Nine-Nine."

We've reached out to Daniel's reps, and so far no word back -- but helluva job keeping the marriage on the DL! Don't bother looking for them on IG, btw. Unlike most Hollywood, they're not the sappy romantic post types.

As we first reported ... Cardi B and Offset were secretly married back in September 2017.

ABC just made it official -- as TMZ first reported ... it's giving the greenlight to a new Roseanne Barr-free version of 'Roseanne,' and it's coming back this fall.

The network says the show's working title is "The Conners" and it will be in the Tuesday night, 8 PM slot. We broke the story ... negotiations with Barr were the only hold-up in going forward with the show. ABC says Tom Werner, of production company Carsey-Werner, reached a settlement with Barr ... and she'll have no financial or creative stake in the new sitcom.

All the other actors from the smash hit reboot are coming back. The show was TV's highest rated sitcom in over three years after its premiere in March -- but ABC pulled the plug after Barr's racist tweet aimed at former Obama aide, Valerie Jarrett.

The only remaining loose end appears to be how Roseanne will be written out of the show ... something we asked former executive producer, Whitney Cummings about a couple weeks ago.