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"Saturday Night Live" jumped on the Chinese spy balloon caper ... insinuating we made a way bigger deal of it that it actually was.

Chloe Fineman played MSNBC's Katy Tur, conducting an interview with Bowen Yang, who was dressed as a large spy balloon that was bobbing in the ocean.

"Well, you got me, congrats, you shot a balloon," Yang mockingly said. Fineman's response, "Wow, balloon, I'm sorry you're in the water, but thank you for speaking to us."

Yang continued, “I entertain you people for four days, and then get shot by Biden. I can’t believe that I’m Joe’s Osama!"

Joe Exotic isn't sure how much time he has left on this Earth, so he signed a new will -- leaving everything to his latest fiancé ... while also ordering first responders not to revive him if things go south.

In a prison-recorded phone call obtained by TMZ, Joe lays out what's what if he's to pass away ... saying his entire estate is going to Seth Posey, who he met over the internet ... and to whom he's currently engaged. If Seth dies, it all goes to the guy's son, Cameron.

Joe makes a point to say he doesn't want anybody else getting their grubby paws on any of his assets or valuables -- including Jeff Lowe, his family members or anyone else. Previously, he'd nixed his ex-husband, Dillon Passage. So, at this point, it's all going to Seth.

He also mentions a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order he's put in his will in the off chance that he goes into cardiac arrest or anything that might require life-saving measures. JE sounds frustrated with the fact that he's been in prison for this long ... and says "he's done."

Joe further tells TMZ ... "I am sick of people standing in line waiting to collect my stuff," which is why he's taking this preemptive measure. Rather than leave things for what he considers vultures, who he says are standing by to collect, Joe wants this cut and dried.

On top of this, the 'Tiger King' has very specific funeral plans ... listen for yourself.

As we first told you ... Joe and Seth reunited in June after first meeting in 2021, when Seth won Joe's online 'Bachelor King' competition to be Joe's new boyfriend. They ultimately grew apart, and then Joe was planning to marry his fellow inmate, John Graham ... but when Graham got out of prison, Joe ended up getting back with Seth. Yeah, Joe's got a crazy love life.

Anyways, 59-year-old Joe's still got around 20 years left on his prison sentence for his murder-for-hire conviction, and he tells us he believes the feds hope he dies in prison "so they don't have to admit they were wrong."

Ryan Grantham, who played Jeffery Augustine in "Riverdale", is being held in a prison hospital and is receiving counseling ... as he tries to cope with the guilt of murdering his own mother.

Grantham's attorney, Chris Johnson, tells TMZ ... "Mr. Grantham recently advised me that he’s doing well, getting the help he needs, and has gained some insight into what happened and why. He regrets what he did to his mother."

Sources with direct knowledge tell us, Grantham is getting counseling from the prison psychologist and is occasionally seen by a psychiatrist.

You'll recall, Grantham's attorney was extremely concerned the 24-year-old would be placed in a maximum security prison, as he could be "physically, psychologically and sexually intimidated" due to his frail stature.

Following the attorney's plea to have Grantham relocated, authorities decided to keep the "Riverdale" actor at a prison hospital in British Columbia, Canada, while they decide where he'll serve the remainder of his sentence.

Grantham seems to be taking his treatment seriously ... his attorney tells us, "He realizes that he has a lot of personal work to do, but he’s dedicating himself to that, so that he can hopefully be a mentally healthy and contributing member of society at some point in time in the future.”

Now batting for the Atlanta Braves ... Travis Kelce?!?

A former MLB scout tells TMZ Sports that very well could have been a possibility this year and beyond -- if only Kelce had opted to play baseball instead of football after high school.

Reggie Sanders -- who scouted for the Braves in the Ohio area as Kelce was starring at Cleveland Heights H.S. in the early 2000s -- tells us that in his several trips to see the teenager who grew up to be a Kansas City Chiefs star ... he was blown away by what he saw.

Sanders remembered the future tight end as a good hitter with blazing speed ... and noted the young Kelce, who graduated H.S. in 2008, was towering, too.

"He seemed like a big leaguer on a field of high school players," said Sanders, who worked for the Braves from 2002 to 2007. "He looks almost the same size today as he was in high school."

Sanders said after watching Kelce play, he was "certain" the guy would have ended up in the big leagues if he had stuck with it ... telling us, "I remember writing his report and I comped him to Josh Hamilton."

Of course, Kelce never stayed with baseball -- he opted to follow in his big brother's footsteps and play football at Cincinnati. The rest, as you know, is history ... and he'll be playing for his second Super Bowl championship next week.

Concealed in this mashed-up photo is a man who does it all ... acting, singing, dancing ... you name it! Back in the day, he made his acting debut on "Hannah Montana" with Miley Cyrus, and he has been living the dream with his bros ever since.

Just last week, this slick celeb received a star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame, where he once again proved he's got swag and style for days! When he's not on his tour bus, he's probably having some cake by the ocean!

Sheila E. says Shania Twain doesn't need to dwell on what could have been -- taking Prince up on an offer to collab on a breakup album years ago -- because Shania was right to say no.

We got Sheila at LAX and our photog asked her about Shania's recent revelation -- turning down Prince after he invited her to Paisley Park to record an album together in the wake of her 2008 split from ex-husband Robert "Mutt" Lange.

Shania says Prince called and told her they could record the next big album -- like Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" -- but she just wasn't ready ... and Sheila says it makes sense, telling us why breakup tracks are "touchy" for artists.

While lots of folks feel Shania and Prince could have done something special together, Sheila tells us the 'Feel Like a Woman' singer didn't need Prince to elevate her music ... Sheila says Shania was already great, with or without Prince.

Kelsea Ballerini's looks over the years are definitely award-worthy!

Here is a 21-year-old version of the country singer flashing her pearly whites and looking show-ready at the "Fox & Friends" Concert In New York City back in 2015 (left). This was the same year she debuted her first studio album "The First Time."

And, 8 years later -- with hopes of bringing home a W from this year's Grammys -- she recently pulled back her hair and showed off that winning smile at a CMT event in Music City aka Nashville, Tennessee (right).

It's obvi "Outer Banks" star, Chase Stokes is into Ms. Ballerini, but the question is ...

The days of being verified for free on Twitter are coming to an end -- which goes for corporate accounts too ... who'll have pay a pretty penny for their verification status.

A new report from The Information suggests Elon Musk and co. are rolling out a new payment plan option for companies/brands who want to hold on to their gold checkmark ... which, up until now, was free if they were of note or importance.

Another separate reporter, Matt Navarra, appeared to confirm Twitter's plans ... which include charging business accounts $1,000 per month if they want to stay verified. Any affiliate accounts under the bigger corporate account will cost an additional $50/month.

They're calling the program Verified for Organizations, and it sounds like they're reaching out to brands now to get them onboard early. If they refuse to pony up, they'll lose their gold check and look like any other unverified Twitter user. It's unclear when this goes into effect.

It doesn't seem this new subscription plan applies to media companies, which would be at risk of phony accounts popping up and posing as them ... thus, spreading fake news.

On the contrary, this looks to be aimed more so at straight up corporations -- like Target, Bank of America, etc. -- that are strictly in the business of selling goods and services ... and turning a profit. It also sounds like a ploy to make quick cash, which Twitter reportedly really needs these days -- with mounting lawsuits from all ends and ongoing staff shortages.

Of course, this is just the latest money-making gimmick from Elon. In addition to this, he's still desperately trying to get people to sign up for Twitter Blue any way he can -- which is $8/month and guarantees virtual nobodies a blue checkmark, for whatever that's worth.

Meanwhile, tons of old legacy accounts -- like journos/other people of note -- continue to rock their blue checkmarks (for free, it seems) and public officials now have grey checks.

James Cameron's 'Avatar' sequel has reigned supreme at the box office for weeks now -- but a new flick might be gearing up to take it down ... with Dave Bautista at the helm.

We're talking about M. Night Shyamalan's sci-fi thriller "Knock at the Cabin," which just hit theaters. The film's gotten mixed reviews, but it seems the movie-going crowd is eager to see it ... so far, it's made $5.4 mil and is on track to make about $14.5 mil through Sunday.

While lower than what early projections had it pegged at -- between $15M-$20M over the weekend -- that figure is still strong enough to knock off 'The Way of Water' ... which has been #1 for over a month now. The sequel has been cruising, without much competition.

Box office estimates have 'Avatar 2' coming in at around $10 million ... which, if it holds true, would actually drop it down to #3, below yet another new movie that's doing quite alright.

That would be the Jane Fonda-led '80 for Brady,' which is expected to fetch around $13 million this weekend ... not too far behind Shyamalan's highly-anticipated mind-twister.

This one's about a group of older women who take a trip to Foxborough to catch their favorite Patriots QB in action. It's an original comedy ... and considering those are kinda tanking these days in ticket sales, it's a nice surprise to see the strong showing -- especially since this is targeted toward a more senior-leaning audience.

In either case, it looks like 'Avatar's' time on top is coming to an end -- but it's not like Cameron and co. are complaining. The blockbuster has made more money than anyone could've hoped for ... now sitting as the 4th highest-grossing motion picture of all time.

Prince Harry suggested he'd lost his virginity to an esteemed older woman in the U.K.'s countryside -- but, according to the alleged V-card-taker, she was just a couple years older.

A woman named Sasha Walpole has come forward to claim she was the one who first slept with PH in the summer of 2001 ... when she says she was just about to turn 19, while Harry was 16 (going on 17). What's more, she says it was Harry who put the moves on her.

Walpole -- who used to work as a stable girl for then-Prince, Charles at his Gloucestershire estate, Highgrove House, and now makes a living as an industrial plow digger -- says she was pals with Harry at the time, and had known him for years.

On July 21, 2001 ... she says she invited Harry to the Vine Tree pub to celebrate her 19th birthday -- during which, she claims he invited her out back to have a smoke ... she says they then got it on in the adjacent field just like he described in his memoir, 'Spare.'

Here's how Walpole describes it ... "He started to kiss me. It was passionate, intense. We both knew. It went from a kiss on to the floor pretty quickly."

She adds, "It was instant, fiery, wham bam, between two friends. It was sparky because we shouldn't have been doing it. He wasn't 'Prince Harry' to me, this was Harry, my friend, and the situation had got a little bit out of control. It felt naughty, I suppose, in the sense that it shouldn't be happening." Walpole also says he didn't do it like a virgin ... and she had no idea he was one at the time. The whole thing, she claims, lasted about 5 minutes total.

Afterward, Walpole says she did indeed smack his ass like he wrote in the book -- saying it was just a cheeky joke, seeing as how she worked with horses and found it funny.

It's interesting ... Walpole had been photographed with Harry around that time although, in these pics -- he looks to be flirting and fooling around with other girls ... not so much her.

You'll recall, when this tidbit about his first roll in the hay first surfaced -- as excerpts of his book started leak -- there was wide speculation he may have banged the legendary Elizabeth Hurley, even though she totally denied it.

Now, Walpole is spilling her guts to the British media ... doing an interview with the Daily Mail, and saying she was actually bothered by Harry's revelation about their brief tryst. She says she'd kept his secret for years, and is embarrassed he put their business out there.

We now know who'll be sitting next to who at the 65th Grammy Awards this weekend -- and while some of the pairings are no-brainers, others are a little more ... interesting.

CBS and the Recording Academy just dropped photos/video of the seating arrangement for Sunday night at the Crypto.com Arena in DTLA ... and it seems showrunners both tried to mix it up, while also playing it safe at the same time.

For example, the Grammys have Taylor Swift sitting next to her longtime collaborator and music industry pal, Jack Antonoff at one table -- while they've also placed Beyonce and Jay-Z right next to each other at another table across the way. No big surprises there.

Where they seem to be throwing everyone for a loop lies in some other big names cozying up next to each other who don't necessarily have close ties -- like Cardi B sitting next to John Legend, or LL Cool J next to Shania Twain ... or even Lizzo sitting next to Adele.

Some other interesting matchups ... Chuck D and Flavor Flav (who've beefed in the recent past), Black Thought/Chris Stapleton (OGs of their genre), Viola Davis/Queen Latifah.

A handful of artists that appear to be sitting all by their lonesome (at least for now) include ... The Rock, Olivia Rodrigo, Ice T, Bad Bunny ... and Mr. Harry Styles, who's also performing.

Worth noting ... these name cards certainly suggest this is where folks will be parked throughout the broadcast -- but, of course, these things are likely subject to change and not necessarily set in stone. In other words, they could easily switch things up by showtime.

Still, it's clearly going to be a who's-who of Hollywood ... not only are the biggest music stars rolling through -- sans a few notable exceptions -- but it looks like movie/TV stars are filing in as well, so this stands to be even bigger than the forthcoming Oscars ... which is all film.

A Chinese spy balloon that's been hovering over the U.S. throughout the week is probably going to meet its maker once it reaches the deep blue ... something President Biden teased.

JB made one of his first public comments about the foreign aircraft Saturday while out in Syracuse, NY -- where he was asked about it by a reporter ... to whom he casually responded, "We're going to take care of it." Reports from AP and ABC News suggest it's going down.

According to the outlets, the Biden administration is strongly considering shooting the balloon while it's floating over the Atlantic Ocean ... that way, there's no risk of any debris crashing into anything or anybody on the ground. The reports say U.S. officials have cleared airspace for this, and that they would collect the debris for further examination thereafter.

As of Saturday morning, the balloon could be seen fly above the Carolinas and heading East. Estimates say it should be over water sometime this afternoon, so it could go down later today.

The Prez was reportedly first briefed on the fact the balloon had entered our territory on Tuesday, and the first sightings of it over Montana and other midwestern states began surfacing Wednesday. China says it's an unmanned weather balloon conducting research which accidentally veered off course and floated our way ... but the U.S. has called BS.

Instead, intelligence officials are saying it's a surveillance balloon ... and they believe it was sent here intentionally. In any case, it's not great for diplomatic relations right now.

A second balloon was also spotted floating above Latin America today. Time will tell if it's flight comes to an end ... and what any potential findings could mean for how we deal with China.

Things have been bumpy lately with the superpower nation, especially as it pertains to predictions about war and whatnot. With this brazen move, it doesn't bode well.

The balloon takedown could happen any moment now ... stay tuned.

Armie Hammer has broken his silence over the sexual assault allegations that have dogged him for 2 years, flatly denying he raped or sexually assaulted anyone, but conceding he was "emotionally abusive" to some of the women with whom he had sexual encounters.

Hammer, who has been categorically canceled since the allegations surfaced 2 years ago, said he not only contemplated suicide, he took action back in February 2021, shortly after the story broke. He says he was in the Cayman Islands and swam out as far as he could, hoping "that either I drowned or was hit by a boat or eaten by a shark. Then I realized that my kids were still on shore, and that I couldn't do that to my kids."

As you know, several women have claimed they were sexually assaulted by him during BDSM sex. One woman in particular, known as Effie, claimed he raped her and the LAPD has been investigating this case for more than a year and a half. As TMZ has reported, law enforcement sources say no charges will be filed, yet the case has languished at LAPD and has still not been referred over to the D.A. for a final decision.

As for the alleged rape, Hammer told Air Mail it was a rape "scene" ... all planned out in advance and fully consensual.  He says it was planned with every detail ... meeting at a Starbucks, following her home, walking in the open front door and engaging in a "consensual non-consent scene." He says, "Every single thing was discussed beforehand. I have never thrust this on someone unexpectedly. Never."

Hammer was asked if he was emotionally abusive to these women. He answered, "One million percent," adding, "I'm here to admit my own mistakes, take accountability for the fact that I was an asshole, that I was selfish, that I used people to make me feel better, and when that was done, moved on."

The allegations of BDSM fantasies and cannibalistic fetishism became a centerpiece for the streamer, "House of Hammer."  The actor was dropped by his talent agency, and publicist, dropped from film projects ... fully canceled.

He has spent time in the Caymans ... selling timeshares to pass the time and make some money.

Hammer says he's done a lot of work to regain sobriety and peace, referring back to what he says started him down a bad path. He says he was molested by a youth pastor when he was 13, explaining, "What that did for me was it introduced sexuality into my life in a way that it was completely out of my control."

He went on ... "I was powerless in the situation. I had no agency in the situation. Sexuality was introduced to me in a scary way where I had no control. My interests then went to, I want to have control in the situation sexually."

Howard Rosenman, a producer on "Call Me By Your Name," also appeared in the Air Mail story, saying "All of [the allegations are] just pure bulls**t, and yes, he deserves a second chance."  He called the reaction to the Armie story, "kink shaming."

Meanwhile, the LAPD still has the case. A law enforcement source told TMZ they were having trouble with some "3rd party witness" that was resisting cooperation. We're told that 3rd party is a company, not a person. We asked our sources why they didn't just get a subpoena to get whatever it needed from the company, but we did not get an answer.

We have asked our LAPD sources when the case will be wrapped up and sent to the D.A. but never got a clear answer. One source who formerly worked closely with Hammer but no longer does tells TMZ, "The fact that LAPD has had this case for 2 years and still hasn't cleared him is f**king insane."

Some of the biggest names in music were out in force Friday for a second night of pre-Grammy partying, hitting several major shindigs around L.A.

Just like Thursday night, there were were a slew of celebrations in town ahead of the iconic awards show and the parties were flooded with bold-faced names, including Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Jay and Bey, DJ Khaled, Wiz Khalifa, Future and Rich Paul all showed up at the United Master Celebration of Independence in Hollywood. Khaled gave a big thumbs up and even bigger smile on his way out of the soiree. Seems like he had a rockin' good time.

In Beverly Hills, Cher and her much younger fiancé, Alexander Edwards, were spotted hand-in-hand entering and leaving Steven Victor and Tod's party at Matsuhisa restaurant. Cher was smartly dressed in a white jacket and grey slacks while Alex cut a more casual look.

Pusha T, Usher, Pharrell Williams, Tyga and Jermaine Dupri also dipped in and out of the bash -- which served as a celebration for Push and The Dream's Grammy nominations.

Adam Lambert, Casey Affleck and Alessandra Ambrosio were also in a celebratory mood, but they chose a more intimate setting for their get-together at a private home.

Beyoncé fans are begging to score tickets for her upcoming tour ... making public pleas for $$$!!!

The BeyHive is buzzing around the crowdfunding website, GoFundMe, to ask family, friends and other Bey diehards to throw them some bread to secure a ticket for her "Renaissance" tour.

Problem is, even if they raise the money, that doesn't mean they're guaranteed a ticket ... just ask Swifties about the presale of Taylor Swift's "Eras" tour!

That's not stopping fans from trying, and some of their pleas are pretty funny. One fan writes, "This is the only life experience I care about living before I die. I will get those front row tickets either way but this way is safer than selling my kidney on the black market."

Another fan says, "Listen…I would love your financial support in sending me to Beyoncé World Tour 2023. I haven’t missed a Beyoncé concert yet, but I got 'bills, bills, bills.'"

Some fans have managed to raise a few hundred bucks ... while others have raised next to nothing.

Pre-sale in the UK has begun and fans say the supply nowhere meets the demand.

Bryan Kohberger -- the man charged with the University of Idaho student massacre -- is already getting the bizarre affection from women obsessed with alleged mass murderers.

Brittney Hislope has written a series of Facebook posts professing her love for the accused murderer of 4 college classmates, gushing that Kohberger is the “perfect man” for her.

In one post, Hislope said, “My love interest … is named Bryan and is accused of murder, and I just wish to connect with him above anyone else.”

She added, “One way to describe my feelings for him over the last week or so … is kind of like being lovesick.”

Hislope started posting her passionate letters to Kohberger January 4 ... just a few days after the former PhD criminology grad student had been arrested at his parent's home in Pennsylvania for the murders.

The single Kentucky mom, who has a 16-year-old son, pointed out she and Kohberger shared some things in common, such as their astrological signs — both are apparently Scorpios. She also claimed they have similar birth charts, making Kohberger her “divine masculine counterpart.”

In another IG post, Hislop referenced the strange love scene between Jason Patric and Jamie Gertz in the 1987 vampire movie, "The Lost Boys." She said, "Although it’s not very explicit, I’d want to be with my love interest Bryan in those ways.”