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If you thought pirates were just out at sea being bad, you'd be wrong -- Washington state cops say there's piracy happening on their own porches ... by none other than nurses!!! Fake nurses, rather.

This story comes to you from Kennewick, Washington ... where the local police department released photos of two women dressed as nurses that they say are going around to local neighborhoods and STEALING packages off people's doorstep. In broad daylight, no less.

KPD says of the crimes ... "Officers are currently investigating a case of porch piracy and need your help. Both suspects have been reported as stealing packages delivered to Kennewick residences," going on to tell folks to contact 'em if anyone recognizes these gals.

They also make a point to say that they don't believe the perps are actually nurses -- even though they certainly look the part in their full scrubs, gloves and lanyard badges. The department takes a dig at them and gives a shout-out to real nurses, saying ... "The nurses we are fortunate to know only give their time, lives, and take the vitals of their patients (not their property)." And, it gets even weirder.

One of the residents who had a package swooped from her porch says she played back the surveillance tape she had and describes one of the ladies arriving at her front door, only minutes after a FedEx driver dropped off her package, and casually walking off with the goods. Not a batted eye, not a fumble ... all very smooth and calculated.

Things got out of hand in NYC this weekend, where a bunch of cops broke up a crowd -- which ended up with a man being threatened with a taser and then beaten up.

Check out this video that was captured Saturday down in the East Village, where you see at least 4 plain-clothes officers yank a guy out of a building and throw him to the ground while people around them scream, and one woman insists the dude did nothing wrong.

While they're dealing with him, another man approaches the ruckus from the street, only to be met by a lone cop who gets up and tells him to back up -- brandishing his taser and even zapping it in what seems to be an effort to scare him. The guy didn't back down.

That led to the officer taking him down, putting him in a bear hug ... then slapping and punching him when he was on the ground. Another officer came over to help put cuffs on the bystander. Even more chaos ensues as the crowd grows and backup arrives.

NYPD Commissioner Dermot Shea says this all started with a social distance infraction, which he says his cops were trying to break up. Now, this is being investigated by the department's Internal Affairs unit ... and one of the cops on video is on modified duty now.

Meanwhile, 3 people were arrested in the dust-up -- including the 2 guys taken down by the NYPD as well as a woman who allegedly had her own stun gun on her.

On the flip side ... the other side of town was also congregating en masse Saturday over in the West Village, but there weren't too many signs of rowdy, physical break-ups like we see here. The NYPD says they issued dozens of summons over these social distance breakers too, but we haven't seen video of any violence like these POC are experiencing.

The glowing dolphin phenomenon is closer to shore than ever before in Southern California's own backyard -- now, we got some coastal dolphins lighting up the night sea!

Check out this video from photographer Patrick Coyne, who -- like last time -- tracked down more flipper swimmers out near Newport Beach, who were lighting up with blue fluorescence underwater in the pitch-black dead of night ... and pretty close to land too.

In the vid, he makes a distinction between these dolphins -- which are bottlenose (AKA coastal) dolphins -- and the ones he caught on camera about a week or so ago, which are just common dolphins, and go further out in the water than these little guys do.

As we've explained ... the way the dolphins can glow the way they do here is attributed to bioluminescence. Basically, phytoplankton in the water have been doused in this, and they make the surrounding water shine bright in the dark. That includes anything swimming in the ocean as well, obviously.

Their defiance defies logic, but here it is ... another super-unsafe party in Chicago in the midst of a still untamed pandemic.

A throng of folks hit the streets of West Chi-Town Saturday night for a rager. A woman twerked on the hood of a car as the crowd roared its approval.

Chicago has been hit hard by the coronavirus outbreak, and Mayor Lightfoot pled with Chicago residents Saturday not to defy the doctors and scientists. It's one thing to go out and get exercise, adhering to social distancing ... it's another to pack in like sardines, which is a surefire way to spread the virus.

The Mayor has cause for deep concern. Late last month there was a shocking scene at a Chicago house party where it seemed impossible to cram one more person inside. As you know by now, high concentrations of people -- like at funerals or celebrations -- can cause an explosion of COVID-19 cases.

The Mayor has also echoed what is now a known fact ... the virus is hitting minority communities disproportionally hard.

Girl dads everywhere should take a cue from this proud papa -- who's helping his daughter stay sharp in cheerleading during quarantine ... something Simone Biles digs a lot.

Check out this sweet video of a guy practicing a pretty advanced cheer routine within the confines of their home. The kid can't be more than maybe 4 or 5 years old -- if that -- but she's got some killer moves ... which her dad was more than happy to coach her through.

Frankly, this feels like something you might see Navarro College athletes practicing in preparation for Daytona -- and this teeny little girl sorta has it down to a tee already.

Her pops starts out by throwing her into the air, where she does a full body twirl and lands on his hands perfectly. She then balances on one leg while lifting the other one up near her head. The daughter then falls into her dad's arms for a cradle and up they go again.

It's incredible to watch -- and the way the father-daughter duo interact is pretty precious too. Of course, it would seem this clip has caught an Olympian's eye, 'cause Simone -- who does similar stuff to this on her own mat -- liked the video from her official page.

Here's Jennifer Lopez giving Shakira a "SHAKE THAT ASS" lesson during a private Super Bowl halftime rehearsal ... and it's amazing!!!

"I do it with my knees," J Lo tells Shakira mid-gyration ... "If you shake your knees, your butt goes.

"My mother taught me that ... when I was four!"

WELL, THANK YOU, MRS. LOPEZ!!!

It's all part of newly released video Jenny from the Block decided to share with the world ... showing all of the hard work the team put in to make that INCREDIBLE halftime show from SB LIV back in February.

The footage is awesome -- and shows just how hands-on Lopez was with ALL of the dancers and performers, including Shakira!

"I can’t believe it’s already been 3 months since the #SuperBowlLIV#Halftime Show," Lopez said.

"So much has happened since then, but I wanted to share a fun peek behind the scenes at our first rehearsal with the dancers and @Shakira."

One of the moves they busted their asses to perfect was the end pose ... from the cake jiggling to the final ferocious head turn to the camera.

File this under no good deed goes unpunished -- a bride and groom held a responsible, safe and socially distant wedding, only to end up losing one very important thing ... the ring!!!

Full disclosure ... the groom here is one of our NYC camera guys, Jeremy. He and his fiancee, Laura, tied the knot Saturday in Milburn, NJ. Small affair ... about 20 guests outside in Taylor Park, with everyone -- except the bride and groom -- standing 6-feet apart with face masks.

But, watch what happened next -- Jeremy read his vows, but wanted to wrap them up with a little pizzazz ... so he crumpled up the paper and tossed it over his head. Awesome! Except for the part where his wedding band also got tossed. By accident, he says.

The wedding party quickly turned into a search party ... with guests and a few passersby crawling around in the grass looking for Jeremy's wedding band.

Spoiler alert! They never found it. The rabbi told Jeremy this kinda marital disaster was a first for him after performing more than 800 weddings. Oy vey!

The show did go on though ... Laura said her vows and the rabbi pronounced them married -- so the deal was sealed in the end. Mind you, this whole affair was their plan B. Originally, they were going to have 250 guests at a wedding hall, indoors (where it's easier to find lost rings).

For the record, Laura's ring is intact and on her hand. Jeremy's got some shopping to do.

If you ever wondered what 50 Cent would look like as Veep Mike Pence ... well, here you go.

An Australian artist created a Pence-ish looking painting using Fitty as his inspiration and it's, well, interesting.

50 seemed to approve, saying ... "This f***ing guy won’t stop, SMH. I guess i’m not wearing a mask because i’m tested frequently."

He was referring to Pence's ridiculous defiance when he went to the Mayo Clinic this week, ignoring protocol as he was the only one in the room not wearing a mask. He says he was tested, but that really doesn't make a difference. They told him to wear one and he didn't.

The artist who painted the Pence pic -- Lushsux -- has a history with 50. He's turned him into Donald Trump ... something that clearly doesn't sit well with the rapper/mogul.

Former Oakland A's pitcher and "Real Housewives of Orange County" star Matt Keough has died.

His former team made the announcement that Matt passed on Saturday. The team did not reveal the cause of death.

Matt pitched for Oakland for 7 seasons. He received some notable awards ... 1978 All-Star rookie, 1980 American League Comeback Player of the Year. In addition to Oakland, Matt pitched for the Cardinals, Cubs, Astros and Yankees.

Matt was on the cover of Sports Illustrated in '81 with the other "Five Aces" ... 4 other members of the A's.

After baseball, Matt ventured into reality TV with his then-wife, Jeana ... they were cast members on "Real Housewives of Orange County." They married in 1984 and separated 20 years later. Despite the separation, they continued living together during the early seasons of "RHOC."

Matt had his share of legal trouble. He racked up 2 DUI's ... the second of which earned him a 1-year jail sentence. Interesting ... Jeana testified on Matt's behalf, even though their marriage was over, asking the judge to give him probation.

It's especially tragic for the family ... a few weeks back their daughter, Kara, had a son who died during childbirth from complications ... shoulder dystocias and a compressed umbilical cord.

Kara posted a tearful message ... "Daddy, please take care of my son. Teach him the circle changeup and how to find forever friends. You're on grandpa duty in heaven now. Xoxo, Hammerhead."

Matt leaves behind 3 kids. He was 64.

Robin Wright made the best of the coronavirus pandemic Saturday by taking a trip to the beaches of Malibu with her brood and a few friends.

Robin and daughter, Dylan, hit the sand with some friends, as her husband, Clement Giraudet, hit the water with his board and took advantage of some pretty decent waves.  FYI, L.A. was ridiculously beautiful Saturday.

Robin and Dylan snacked as they watched Clement, a Saint Laurent exec and an accomplished surfer, shred the gnar.

Face masks were not in the picture, and it seems unlikely all of them were quarantining together, although it's possible.

Mark Cuban is challenging the federal government to rejigger the economy NOW ... by hiring some of the millions of people who are out of work and retraining them to become useful in fighting the coronavirus pandemic.

Cuban demanded answers ... "Explain to me why in the midst of 50m people unemployed or underemployed, the gov isn't hiring and training MILLIONS to do Tracking/Tracing, Caring/Supporting at risk populations and sanitization work? And now is the time to train/pay stay at home parents/caregivers as well."

It's an idea that was obliquely hatched during the Democratic presidential debates, by folks like Andrew Yang and others ... to scramble the economy and find new ways of supporting an increasingly struggling workforce.

We talked to California Governor Gavin Newsom on "TMZ Live" a couple weeks ago about his new program -- Californians For All -- encouraging young people to volunteer to help.  We asked if this could be the start of something like FDR's New Deal, where programs like the Work Progress Administration put out-of-work Americans to work to help the country.  Newsom seemed all about it.

Georgia's Governor lifted restaurant restrictions almost a week ago, but most popular ATL spots are instead heeding Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms ... refusing to open for dine-in service.

Many of Atlanta's most famous and popular restaurants are telling TMZ ... despite Gov. Brian Kemp's green light, they feel it's not safe enough to return to business as usual. However, some of them are still embracing crowds of customers ... for take-out.

Check out the gallery ... mouth-watering restaurants like Hattie Marie’s BBQ, The Original Hot Dog Factory, Nouveau Bar & Grill, Slutty Vegan and Bon Ton Atlanta are sticking with the status quo, only offering takeout and delivery options while dine-in tables sit empty.

Copper Cove Buckhead is taking a more extreme approach -- it's staying completely closed until Mayor Bottoms gives the all-clear. We're told ownership is using this time to sanitize the whole building.

Tons of celebs frequent Copper Cove ... Diddy, Fabolous, Offset, Pusha T, Toya Wright and Jermaine Dupri to name a few ... but they're just gonna have to wait.

As we reported ... the mayor's encouraging her citizens to listen to data coming from health officials in the middle of the crisis ... instead of what President Trump and Gov. Kemp are pushing.

Lamont D. Johnson, the PR rep for The Original Hot Dog Factory and CRU Hemp Lounge, tells TMZ ... the restaurants are pairing up with hospitals to donate food to medical workers.

And, Slutty Vegan owner Pinky Cole tells us she's paying rent for other small businesses in Atlanta, while providing free food to frontline workers.

Heather Locklear's ready to make nice. And, the feeling's mutual with cops 2 years after she went on the attack against them.

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... Heather's recently been working to repair her relationship with law enforcement, starting with simple acts like stopping Sheriff's deputies around town and saying hello. She's also bought a few cops coffee and chatted.

Then there's this ... in recent months we're told the "Spin City" star attended a Ventura County Sheriff's "Tip-A-Cop" event -- where cops serve as waiters at a local restaurant -- for lunch and returned for dinner.

As for the tip ... we're told she left a super impressive $1,500, which went to a Special Olympics charity. That Heather's taken the steps to bridge the gap with law enforcement has not gone unnoticed with cops. It's a stark contrast to what went down beginning in March 2018.

TMZ broke the story ... police hit up her Thousand Oaks home armed with a search warrant to go look for a gun, this after she told cops "If you ever come back to my house I will shoot you" following her felony domestic violence arrest.

But, things really turned for the worse 3 months later. As we first reported ... Heather was busted after allegedly punching a deputy and kicking an EMT. Heather ultimately pled no contest to 8 misdemeanors and was ordered to 30 days in a residential mental health facility.

Just when it seemed Heather was putting the whole episode behind her ... the EMT -- a single mother of 3 -- wound up suing Heather in November 2018 claiming Heather wished death by AIDS on her children. The suit was ultimately dismissed.

We saw Heather out a month after the EMT filed the lawsuit and she couldn't look any better. She was smiling, being chatty with our photog and enjoying time with her family. She looked just as happy out celebrating her daughter Ava's 22nd birthday.

Heather's incredible turnaround, we're told, has cops beaming. Sources tell us they never took her actions personally and understood she needed help. Now that she's gotten it, we're told cops are ecstatic to see her overcome life obstacles ... especially because they know sobriety is no small feat.

Asante Samuel says playing for Bill Belichick and the Patriots was NOT fun ... and he tells TMZ Sports he believes the reason Tom Brady bolted was 'cause he just couldn't take it anymore.

"He probably just got fed up with it at the end of the day," the former New England cornerback says.

Samuel played with Brady and Belichick from 2003 to 2007 ... and he had a TON of success -- but he tells us he had ZERO fun along the way.

"It worked out for me, man. It made me a better man, but it's not something I enjoyed," Samuel says.

As for why Samuel says playing for The Hoodie is a grind ... it's because of the coach's strict rules and no-mercy personnel decisions.

In fact, Samuel says it was so tough ... he believes that's why Brady will head into the 2020 NFL season with a Buccaneers jersey on.

"He probably just got tired of it," Samuel says of TB12. "He probably got tired of some inner-circle things that he wanted. Maybe, he wanted receivers and tight ends to stay there with him and maybe Bill tried to trade them. Who knows what happened?"

Don't get it twisted, though ... Samuel still seems to respect the hell out of what Bill did for his career -- telling us he just didn't love the route it took to get there.

Dunkaroos fans got a shot to score a free pack of the popular '90s dipping snack, but it was gone in seconds ... leaving many feeling like dips themselves.

The 5,000 packs of Dunkaroos General Mills is giving away were claimed online in less than a minute Thursday, proving the pre-order promotion was a success.

It may have worked too well, though ... because the lightning-quick giveaway resulted in some Twitter allegations the site had actually crashed, was rigged or simply all a publicity stunt.

GM says that's not the case ... there were simply thousands of people on the site waiting for a chance to get their hands on the first packs of the revitalized '90s snack, and 5,000 spots filled up super fast.

The good news for these frustrated fans -- Dunkaroos will be making a comeback at some 7-Eleven stores starting in late May, and nationwide at more grocery and convenient stores later this summer.

It's unclear if there will be more flavors than the vanilla cookie and vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles Dunkaroos used for the giveaway, but either way ... people want 'em.

Ron Jaworski is going to bat for his Eagles ... telling TMZ Sports Philly did NOT screw up the Jalen Hurts pick -- saying the QB could be used like Lamar Jackson!!

"The guy has too much talent to have him sit on the bench," Jaws says. "You could create that package for him just like Lamar Jackson had when he first came to Baltimore."

Of course, Jaws' opinion ain't shared by too many in Philadelphia ... the team was blasted all week for taking the Oklahoma star in the 2nd round despite having 27-year-old Carson Wentz on the roster.

Jaws admits he doesn't know exactly how the veteran QB will respond to the draft choice ... but he says Doug Pederson will find a way to get them both on the field at the same time regardless.

"You fit him in, you teach him, you groom him, and eventually you've got a player!" Jaworski tells us.

But, Ron made it clear, there will NOT be a QB controversy in Philadelphia ... as long as Wentz stays healthy.