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Bryce Harper's having the best Thursday ever ... dude just made $330 million -- AND HE GOT A MANKINI STRIP SHOW FROM HIS NEW TEAMMATE, JAKE ARRIETA!!!

Bryce just inked a monster 13-year deal worth around $25 MIL per season with the Philadelphia Phillies ... and to celebrate -- his new team's stud pitcher decided to give him a show.

Jake popped on his bikini briefs and sandals ... and broke out his broom for a little victory dance.

"Getting the house ready for [Harper]," Arrieta said.

By the way, Jake spared no expense for the occasion ... 'cause the Versace skivvies he was wearing come in at a cool $225 a piece!!!

Not that that's expensive for Jake ... dude is in the middle of a 3-year, $75 MILLION contract of his own!!!

As for Harper's Phillies deal ... it's the richest free-agent contract in baseball history -- blowing by the 10-year, $300 million contract Manny Machado just inked with the Padres earlier this month.

But, some wonder if Harper could have actually gotten MORE ... saying his per-season salary is actually NOT ENOUGH for a 26-year-old MVP in his prime.

NFL linebacker Brandon Marshall says he's not closing the book on a possible return to the Denver Broncos -- telling TMZ Sports, "It could definitely happen."

The Broncos already notified Marshall they will not be picking up his option -- which will officially make him a free agent on March 13. Marshall has played in Denver since 2013, where he grew into one of the best LBs in the league.

And, while Brandon's agent is out speaking to other teams (there's most definitely interest in the 29-year-old) ... Marshall says there's no bad blood with Denver and he could see a situation where he's back in orange in 2019.

"I wouldn't rule out a return yet," Marshall says ... "Still a chance I could return to the team. It could definitely happen."

Marshall not only lives in the Denver area, but he's also heavily involved in the local community and considers Denver home.

But, for a return to Denver to make sense, it has to make dollars.

"If things work its way out, I'm definitely open to a return ... they have to be open as well, we'll see."

Marshall was limited to 11 games in 2018 due to a knee injury -- but still logged 42 tackles.

He has the most solo tackles of any Broncos player since 2013. Over the course of his career, Marshall has 419 tackles, 6.5 sacks, 4 forced fumbles and 2 interceptions.

He also has a Super Bowl ring from the Broncos victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50.

How's this for timing -- the mocked-up dollar bill showing Hillary Clinton behind bars and signed by President Trump has been put up for auction ... just moments before Trump's personal lawyer testified before Congress.

Here's the fake "Federal Hillary Penitentiary Note" from 2016 that bears Trump's signature. The "dollar bill" was handed out at one of Trump's rallies in Florida in the lead-up to the election ... and one of his supporters got Trump to sign it.

The item's a direct shot at Hillary by Trump supporters who often chanted "lock her up" at almost every Trump rally. It's unclear why it took more than 2 years for the item to go up for auction ... but it seems they want to capitalize on Cohen's testimony calling Trump a criminal.

The "2016" bill shows Hillary on one side behind bars with the words "Hillary for Prison," while the other side sports 2 Department of Justice logos, Hillary's signature at the bottom right and the quote, "Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda."

Steiner Auctions -- which has authenticated Trump's John Hancock -- started the bidding at just $200. We're told Steiner expects to haul in thousands by March 24.

It turns out Tyga is damn lucky he only got manhandled over one repo'd car, because he actually owes nearly $130k on 2 OTHER luxury whips ... according to one pissed off rental car company.

Midway Rent-A-Car says, in docs obtained by TMZ, the rapper leased a 2012 Ferrari 458 Spider and a 2012 Rolls-Royce Ghost back in 2016. However, as he's wont to do, Tyga stopped making payments before the lease ended ... according to Midway.

The rental company says both rides got repo'd, but Tyga still owes almost $44k on the Ferrari and more than $84k on the Rolls. Grand total -- $127,789.73.

Despite multiple attempts to collect, the rental company claims Tyga hasn't squared up ... so it's suing him for the full amount plus attorney fees and interest.

We broke the story ... Tyga had an encounter last weekend with some guys who leased him a Maybach that he also stopped paying for ... and also got repo'd. The confrontation ended with T Raww getting dragged out of the club, and then attempting to pull his bodyguard's gun.

We've reached out to Tyga about the Ferrari and the Rolls and he had no comment. He might wanna avoid the clubs this weekend.

The stars of "Bones" -- Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz -- have millions upon millions UPON MILLIONS of reasons to smile Wednesday morning after winning a massive lawsuit against FOX over their now-canceled show.

Emily, David as well as the show's executive producer and writer were awarded $178,695,778.90 in the case ... which was essentially about their backend payments for the show's distribution on multiple platforms, including Hulu.

The case went to arbitration and did NOT go well for FOX. In fact, the arbitrator came down hard on the network for out-and-out lying and covering up financial details of the deal ... hammering them with $128 million in punitive damages.

Emily reacted to the victory, saying, "We are so proud of the hard work we did on Bones for 12 seasons and only ever wanted Fox to live up to its promises and contractual obligations."

David added, "It's clear that what we were saying all along was true: we were owed additional compensation for our work. Now I can only hope that Fox is made to settle its obligations to us without further delay."

For the record, FOX isn't taking the loss lightly telling TMZ ... "The ruling by this private arbitrator is categorically wrong on the merits and exceeded his arbitration powers. Fox will not allow this flagrant injustice, riddled with errors and gratuitous character attacks, to stand and will vigorously challenge the ruling in a court of law.”

Bottom line ... the network's already filed a motion to overturn all of the punitive damages.

Attorney John Berlinski repped Emily, David and writer. Kathy Reichs ... and he says, "As [the arbitrator] said, the facts are clear -- as is the extent of Fox's duplicity. What we have exposed in this case is going to profoundly change the way Hollywood does business for many years to come."

Berlinkski added, "Fox needs to -- at long last -- do the right thing and pay them what they are owed."

12:53 PM PT -- The Trump Campaign spokesperson, Kayleigh McEnany, has issued a statement about Cohen's testimony, stating, "Michael Cohen is a felon, a disbarred lawyer, and a convicted perjurer, who lied to both Congress and the Special Counsel in a 'deliberate and premeditated' fashion according to the Special Counsel's Office. Now he offers what he says is evidence, but the only support for that is his own testimony, which has proven before to be worthless."

She continued, "Prosecutors said his actions were to ensure that he would 'profit personally, build his own power, and enhance his level of influence.' This is the same Michael Cohen who has admitted that he lied to Congress previously. Why did they even bother to swear him in this time?"

We got Michael Cohen arriving at the United States Capitol as he prepares to testify before Congress about the misdeeds of Donald Trump.

Our photog notices Cohen seemed calm. The photog knew he wasn't going to get a preview of the testimony, so instead, he asked what music Cohen listened to in preparation for the big day.

Cohen will say some shocking things about Donald Trump when he testifies at 10 AM ET before the House Oversight Committee. He calls Trump a racist, a conman and a cheat.

Among the things he'll say ... "He once asked me if I could name a country run by a black person that wasn't a 'shithole.' This was when Barack Obama was President of the United States."

He adds, "While we were once driving through a struggling neighborhood in Chicago, he commented that only black people could live that way. And, he told me that black people would never vote for him because they were too stupid."

He will also submit letters he says he wrote at Trump's direction, threatening high schools and colleges not to release his grades or SAT scores.

And, Cohen will submit a check that Trump wrote to him for $35,000 as re-payment for the Stormy Daniels hush money payment.

Cohen also says he lied to Melania about his affair with Stormy -- at Trump's behest -- and says it's one of his biggest regrets.

R. Kelly was bailed out by a woman who believes he's innocent -- at least for now -- and says she simply stepped up to the plate to help a friend in need.

Valencia P. Love is the Chicago businesswoman who reportedly covered the $100k bond Monday to secure Kelly's release, and she says, "There are three sides to every story, [Kelly's] side, there's (the alleged victims), and the truth."

That statement seems to acknowledge Kelly is being less than truthful, but Love also told Chicago's FOX32 ... "As a friend if he says he's innocent, I can only believe that he is innocent."

Love also insists Kelly is not a monster, and says there are much worse problems in Chicago -- like hundreds of Catholic priests being accused of sex abuse and a missing woman named Kierra Coles.

Valencia makes it clear she's not condoning any of the allegations, saying, "If he did it he is wrong" ... but believes Kelly should get the chance to clear his name.

YBN Almighty Jay is turning himself in to cops who are investigating him for allegedly stealing another rapper's chain, Rolex and cash ... but he tells us 5-0's got the wrong guy.

We got the rapper Tuesday as he was about to walk in to LAPD -- a little more than a week after cops named him a suspect for felony grand theft. Still, he strongly denies he's the culprit ... telling us, repeatedly, "I didn't do s**t!"

We broke the story ... YBN was filming videos in Chatsworth, CA with another rapper, Skinnyfromthe9 ... when he and his crew allegedly ran off with tons of loot -- a $40k chain, $20k Rolex and $20k cash.

In surveillance footage of the incident, you see a couple men approach Skinny's Range Rover which YBN was standing next to, and after a struggle ... the men run away.

YBN admits it's him in the video, but insists he had nothing to do with jacking the cash and jewelry.

10:58 AM PT -- R. Kelly's attorney, Steven Greenberg, tells TMZ, "In 30 years of practicing criminal defense law, I have never seen anyone prosecuted for non-payment of child support. Maybe it happens, but I've never seen it done in Illinois."

10:25 AM PT -- Drea Kelly's management team tells TMZ, "We are aware that they are bringing criminal charges for non-payment of child support and we support any and all efforts that will make sure that his children are taken care of."

R. Kelly's freedom may be short-lived because we've learned prosecutors in Chicago are looking at charging him with the CRIME of failing to pay child support.

Sources connected to the case tell TMZ, the State's Attorney is investigating the over $160k he owes ex-wife Drea Kelly. We're told Drea has been in touch with prosecutors who are now looking to charge R. Kelly with the offense of failure to support. Any amount over $20k can be filed as a felony.

If he's charged, he can be immediately arrested and will land right back in jail.

As you know, the judge has ordered the singer to pay the $161,663 by March 6 or else he'll go back to jail. But, our sources say the State's Attorney does not want the singer out of custody and is now looking at accelerating things by filing a criminal case.

R. Kelly clearly had problems posting bond in the sex abuse case. He sat in jail for days until a friend posted the $100k.

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna have settled their custody war over Dream, because they are gushing over each other ... and there's no other explanation!

Chyna just tweeted, "Robert and I only concern is what's in the best interest of our daughter that we both equally love. Additionally, Robert is a wonderful father to our Dreamy!"

For his part, Rob said, "Angela and I are both actively co-parenting and there are no pending or active custody cases."

TMZ broke the story ... Rob agreed to pay Chyna $20,000 a month in support, but the plan all along was to go back into court to get it reduced because she makes more than him.

We know Rob was always willing to pay something, but less than the $20k.

We're told they agreed to joint custody. Rob has had 2-year-old Dream around 70% of the time and, although we don't know the specific structure of the custody arrangement, we were previously told the division would not radically change.

When it comes to any future deals with the Kardashians, Jordyn Woods is gonna have to mind her own business ... and we mean that literally, 'cause she's getting cut off.

Sources familiar to the situation tell TMZ ... Jordyn has effectively been excommunicated on the business end of things when it comes to partnering up with the family for some dough. Short story long ... they don't plan to work with her ever again.

That's a shame for Jordyn, considering she had a healthy working relationship with the Kardashians prior. She has a joint makeup line with Kylie and even had her own page on Khloe's Good American fashion site ... where she modeled jeans and was part of the #goodsquad.

Her entire Good American page has been removed from Khloe's site, and our sources say Jordyn has ruined any potential opportunity for future ventures. We're told her betrayal by fooling around with Tristan is unrecoverable.

Jordyn's on the outs with Kylie too. Our sources say her security clearance has been revoked from Kylie's gated neighborhood, so she can't come and go as she pleases anymore. As we told you ... Jordyn moved out and is back living with her mom.

Here's what interesting though ... we're told Kylie seems to be leaving the door somewhat open for a possible reconciliation with Jordyn ... and we're told the sisters are saying they wouldn't be surprised if Kylie outright forgives her down the line, but she'll never go back into business with her.

Even if they do become friends again, our sources say, Jordyn will never get back in with the family.

Could the Rams head into 2019 without one of their best defensive players???

Seems it's leaning that way ... 'cause just 2 weeks before NFL free agency begins -- Ndamukong Suh tells TMZ Sports he's STILL unsure of his future with L.A.

"We'll see," he told us when asked about returning to the Rams.

Suh signed a 1-year, $14 MILLION contract with the Rams last offseason ... but that deal is expiring -- and the 32-year-old didn't exactly get Rams fans excited when we asked about the situation at Craig's Monday night.

Ndamukong was a beast in his 16 games with L.A. ... logging 4.5 sacks and 59 tackles -- and playing his best ball of the season for the team in their Super Bowl run.

BTW ... we got what appears to be a glimpse of what Suh spent some of his Rams paychecks on -- and it's four wheels of an INSANELY AWESOME car.

Suh hopped into what looks like a Rolls-Royce Dawn -- a $350,000 whip with suicide doors and 563 horsepower.

Yeah ... we ain't feeling too bad about his upcoming free agency now either.

The good news for the Rams ... stud left tackle Andrew Whitworth just announced he'll be returning to the team for the 2019 season.

"Can’t wait for the opportunity to ride with the boys again!" the 37-year-old tweeted out Tuesday morning.

David Caruso's ex-assistant says she went to the mat for him -- lying under oath -- and then he failed to hold up his end of the bargain, and exposed her to various forms of sexual harassment ... but Caruso says she's the one going back on her word.

The ex-assistant, who's suing as Jane Doe, says she agreed to make a false statement defending Caruso against a legal threat from another assistant. In exchange for lying to help him ... she claims Caruso offered to buy her a $250k house in Cuba, give her $200k to start her own biz and get her sister an apartment.

Doe claims she got almost none of the above ... but did get Caruso's penis on her shoulder. According to the suit, the former "CSI: Miami" star frequently made unwanted sexual contact -- brushing his hand or crotch against her butt, and on one occasion ... "stood behind [her] while she was seated and rubbed his penis against her shoulder."

While Doe, who says she's Hispanic, never got the house in Cuba, she accompanied him there on vacays she claims got pretty creepy. In the suit, she describes a December 2015 trip where Caruso was having sex with his GF in an adjoining room. She says he yelled out Doe's name, while telling the GF to ... "scream out loud that he was large like a burro."

Doe claims the next day Caruso bragged in front of her about his sexual prowess while his GF said, "No mas burro, no mas burro!!"

Caruso's ex-assistant also claims he regularly made racist comments about Jews, blacks, Latinos and gay people -- including saying his Guatemalan nannies had "brains the size of a walnut" and using the n-word.

According to the suit, all Doe got was $14k for an apartment and a leased car. She's suing him for wrongful termination, breaching their deal and fraud.

Caruso's attorney, Michael Weinsten at Lavely & Singer, tells us ... “My client vehemently denies the allegations of the complaint. This Jane Doe plaintiff gave sworn testimony in a prior matter that flatly contradicts what she is now alleging."

If "Empire" money was Jussie Smollett's motivation to allegedly stage an attack, he certainly never showed his cards to the people who could actually make it happen.

"Empire" production sources tell TMZ ... none of the brass -- producers or EPs -- heard even a whisper from Jussie grousing he was underpaid. Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson said Jussie staged the "attack" to raise his profile and get more per episode.

Our sources say, if Jussie was upset about his salary, he kept it to himself. He was in the middle of a long-term contract and the executives, who are in a position to bust the deal or sweeten the pot, say neither Jussie nor his reps ever asked.

Jussie was pulling in a reported $125,000 per episode. We're told that's on par with actor Bryshere Y. Gray, who plays his brother, Hakeem. Taraji P. Henson and Terrence Howard reportedly make $250,000 an episode.

We're told Jussie's main focus recently was the release of new music. He was upset his first album didn't do well and was stressed out over the debuts of his new songs and music videos.

Cara Delevingne is just like the rest of us, hitting up Postmates for some grub on the go ... the only difference is, she spends way more on deliveries than your average Joe.

Cara is one of Postmates' most dedicated customers ... because the company tells us she started getting deliveries back in 2014 and has since dropped $25,000!!!

The "Suicide Squad" star is being featured on a Postmates series, The Receipt, which profiles big-spending celebs, their favorite orders and weirdest requests.

Cara's first order was for a bottle of Jack Daniels on Halloween night, and she's since racked up more than 482 orders, for 1,038 items, from over 234 stores!!!

Cara's favorite spots to order from include: Go Greek Yogurt, Pink Dot, Pinkberry, Taco Bell, Domino's and Shake Shack. Her most ordered item ... the "To-Go Lite" omakase from SUGARFISH.

Food isn't the only thing Cara gets from Postmates ... she once ordered a box of nails and a hammer, and her most expensive purchase was a $326 vacuum!!!

Tyga got booted from Floyd Mayweather's birthday bash over 2 very common issues for the rapper -- money and the repo man.

Witnesses inside the Sunset Room tell TMZ ... moments before Tyga got dragged out of the club, he was approached by several men from whom he had leased a white Maybach -- and not in a friendly way.

We're told Tyga had a deal to pay $6,000 a month for the Maybach, but he fell behind on his payments and the men had the luxury car repo'd last month. So, when they crossed paths at the party, an argument erupted and Tyga started threatening the men.

You know what happened next ... security grabbed Tyga by the neck, dragged him out of the club and onto the street, where Tyga tried to pull a gun off his bodyguard.

As for why Tyga got so heated -- we're told he feels the Maybach was unlawfully repossessed.

Tyga's been down this road before ... it's the second Maybach he's lost to the repo man, and he also had a Ferrari swiped.

The good news ... it's all water under the bridge now, because Tyga says he's made-up with the men and the bouncer.